Lolcow Mike Yevtuck - God of the USA Hells Angels

[HandsomePete]

In this thread I'd like to talk about a bizarre lolcow I've discovered by the name of Mike Yevtuck
https://twitter.com/mikeyyevtuck His Twitter Account

Essentially, Mike Yevtuck is a 60 year old biker from New Jersey who, for some reason, has an absolutely FANATICAL hatred for the Hells Angels, specifically for Chuck Zito. For those of you who don't know (which would be 99% of you) Chuck Zito is a D- list celebrity whose last serious acting role was on the TV show "OZ." He was also a member of the Hells Angels

Mike Yevtuck literally spends his entire life on twitter spamming ridiculous claims about all Hells Angels being gay pedophile rapists, talking about beating up DOZENS of HA at once, and relentlessly searching the terms "Hells Angels" and "Chuck Zito" on twitter. Literally anyone who tweets about either of these two things will receive the full force of Mike Yevtuck's wrath, which equates to being called a "Cloaca chickenshit" and talking about how "Chuck Zito has zero fights."

What makes Mike hilarious is that he legitimately believes there is a large conspiracy by the Hells Angels and Chuck Zito to "libel" him and censor him. If you tweet negatively at him he will claim you are Chuck Zito on a sockpuppet account, because he believes Chuck Zito and the Hells Angels spend their time gang stalking him.

I have attached some pictures of Mike's lunacy on his twitter. In addition, if you search his name on google, you will see that he takes the time to find any article about the Hells Angels, call them pedophiles, and talk about all the Hells Angels he has beaten up

For maximum results, take some of the pictures Mike has posted of himself and clumsily photoshop penises in. He will absolutely lose his mind and tweet at you 20 times accusing you of libel, all the while tagging Clinton and Donald Trump and demanding they stop Chuck Zito and the Hells Angels (not exaggerating in the slightest)

Enjoy. Note the vacant, autistic stare in the picture

 

[Sexy Rexxy]

Is this guy related to porn god donny long? They have a similar vocabulary.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

It would be hilarious if a few Hell's Angels roughed him up one day.

 

[HandsomePete]

I took the liberty of taking about 10 minutes in MS Paint to crudely photoshop things onto several of his pictures. This caused him to spam me and the twitter support with about 20 messages AFTER i stopped replying

I'm attaching some of his great exploitable photos. Go ahead and hit him up on twitter, provided you don't mind being spammed for several days, accused of being Chuck Zito, and called a cloaca chickenshit

 

[TheJabroni]

Holy shit you aren't kidding about the spam. He doesn't even need to be milked as it sprays out of his udders at Mach speed.

 

[Terence Trent D'ARPA]

There's an interesting bit of information about Chuck Zito which I imagine must fascinate martial-arts spergs: He beat up Jean-Claude Van Damme at a strip club. Here's Zito's side of it:

"I first met Jean-Claude in 1992. He'd been a legitimate martial artist at one time, a black belt who had competed successfully in Belgium . . . We were introduced at a beauty pageant sponsored by Hawaiian Tropic. . . . When the week ended Jean Claude asked me if I'd be interested in working as his personal bodyguard and I accepted. But it became apparent to me fairly quickly that our relationship wouldn't last. . . . I just didn't hit it off with him the way I usually did with my clients. . . When you're spending that much time together, you have to develop a certain rapport and I never felt like I had that with Jean-Claude . . . . For one thing I didn't like his demeanor, his attitude. I'd worked with some of the biggest stars in the world and most of them made a concerted effort to put other people at ease. They were comfortable with their celebrity, and they didn't wield it arrogantly. They were nice to the small people who crossed their paths . . . in other words they seemed to realize how lucky they were.

Jean-Claude, on the other hand, acted like the world owed him something. He wasn't gracious. In fact, sometimes he could be downright mean. I was accustomed to working with stars who were considerate of other people. Being with Jean-Claude made me uncomfortable, so, after a few weeks, we parted ways. There was no big scene, no fight, nothing. It was a mutual decision . . .

We ran into each other one night at Scores, an upscale New York strip club where I like to hang out. I was sitting there, eating my steak, minding my own business, when Jean-Claude walked in with Mickey Rourke and a few of his buddies. I figured, Hey life's too short; why hold grudges? So I went over to Jean-Claude, pulled up a chair, and said hello. Right away he copped an attitude.

"Hey . . . Chuck Zi-to," he said, barely making eye contact. Now, I know my last name so it as pretty obvious that he was trying to be an asshole. But I decided to stay away from him. I didn't want or need any trouble. A little while later, though, I was approached by a guy named Frankie, one of the clubs bouncers, who had seen me talking with Jean-Claude. "Hey, Chuck," he said. "Why are you wasting any time with that prick?" [Zito] "What do you mean?" [Frankie] "I just heard him talking about you in the bathroom." [Zito] "what did he say?" [Frankie] "I asked him for an autograph and he told him we had a mutual friend--Chuck Zito. And he started laughing, saying you had no heart, **** like that."

I knew the bouncer and trusted him. There was no way he was lying. So I pulled my chair next to Jean-Claude, looked at the girl wriggling in his lap and said, "Sweetheart, do me a favor. Take your shoes for a walk." She got up and left, leaving me and Jean-Claude sitting just inches apart, staring at each other. We were surrounded by other people, but the music was loud, the place was jumping, and I'm not sure anyone realized we were on the edge of a brawl. "Jean-Claude, were you just talking about me in the bathroom?" He didn'y respond at first. Then he slowly removed his glasses, tucked them into his breast pockt, and leaned even closer; and I thought, why the hell is he taking his glasses off? Unless he wants to fight.

[VD] "Yeah, So what?" [Zito] "You tell Frankie that I had no heart?" [VD] "Uh-huh." I didn't want to disrespect the people who owned the club, and I didn't want to disrespect Mickey, who came in with Jean-Claude. [Mickey is a former Zito bodyguarding client] But I couldn't let this go. In all honesty, I have to say that I was amazed Jean-Claude was being such a jerk. So I gave him one more chance to explain his actions. "Why would you say that?" I asked. He lowered his head. "Because you're full of ****." Shocked I reached out and grabbed him by the arm. The music was blaring and I'd misheard him. "Excuse me, Jean-Claude. Did you say I'm full of ****." [VD] "No . . . I said you're fucking full of ****!"

And with that I hit him--twice. A straight right and a left hook. Bam-bam! [ed: where's pebbles?] Jean-Claude's chair flipped over backward, and he landed in the lap of my friend Kevin Lubic. As Jean-Claude tried to scramble to his feet, I started screaming at him. "You fuckin' scumbag! I got no heart? You got no heart! This ain't the movies asshole; this is the street and I own the fucking street!" I started hitting him with everything I had. Jean-Claude barely evene tried to fight back. He just tried to shield himself. When he covered his head I hit him in the body. When he covered his body I hit him in the face. It went on like that for about thirty seconds, until the bouncers jumped in, Mickey jumped in, and all my buddies jumped in and pulled me off off Jean-Claude. He was tossed out of the club and I left on my own --quickly--before the police arrived. I went straight to the hospital, because even though he hadn't landed a punch, I'd managed to hurt myself. I could my hand throbbing. Sure enough, X rays showed a broken bone."

Either Mike Yevtuck is a dyed-in-the-wool Van Damme fan who wants to avenge senpai, or he thinks that fighting Zito will somehow land him a movie role. At the very least, it's landed him as the star of his very own thread!

 

[God of USA hell's angels]

Mike Yevtuck slapped Cloaca chuck Zito around many times because Chuck Zito was not man enough to fight back and get punched so Mike just slapped Zito around. Here is Chuck Zito hanging up the phone before Mike can make fight arrangement. Coward Zito telling Mike to come down now Knowing there was no way Mike Could make it from China to NYC in 1 hour Lets get the community to help set a fight date

It would be hilarious if a few Hell's Angels roughed him up one day.

I beat USA hells angels up all the time thats why that coward cloaca chuck zito resorts to coward shit like this

Calling out the Lo Cal Cloaca Chuck Zito lets fight fag

 

[registereduser]

Edit: i didn't even notice this was a necro lmao, how bizarre

 

[God of USA hell's angels]

Wow that was fast

lets get a real fight going Mike Yevtuck God of USA hells angels VS the cloaca Bitch Chicken Chuck Zito

OK Guys can we act like men and women and stop the photoshopping BS that is for coward locals that cannot fight with fists or wit like cloaca chuck zito the LO cal coward

 

[Local Degenerate]

Holy shit, I better get out of this thread. This much autism might be contagious.

 

[introman]

Reading this thread and I got to side with Mike on this. Zito is a goofy and supports abuse against women.

 

[Local Degenerate]

Reading this thread and I got to side with Mike on this. Zito is a goofy and supports abuse against women.

Meh, if you ask me, what makes a lolcow isn't them being right or wrong, but being total ass-clowns, as we see here.

 

[Graffiti canvas]

Holy shit. This thread is necroed by the most autistic exceptionalism I've seen since @mikemikev was banned.

Way to shit up your own thread, faggot.

 

[Splendid]

I'll fite you with wit.

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

I will beat you at HALO son.

 

[God of USA hell's angels]

Reading this thread and I got to side with Mike on this. Zito is a goofy and supports abuse against women.

Thank you

 

[Graffiti canvas]

So Mike, I mean @God of USA hell's angels , Tell us more about your confrontations with Chuck...

 

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

Lol wtf did I just read?

 

[HandsomePete]

Jesus Christ...

If you build it, they will come

 

[Trans Fat 41g]

Jesus Christ...

If you build it, they will come

If you shit yourself, they will do nothing.