My cat won't stop farting! - I'm dying

[Doc Cassidy]

For the past month my cat has been farting nonstop and it's fucking RANCID! He sleeps on my bed most nights which is fine but lately he's been farting up a storm it makes me want to puke! It stinks up my entire bedroom!

I've tried screaming at him, kicking him, I even called him a dirty faggot the other day but he just. won't. stop. farting.

It stinks so fucking bad how can I make him stop before I literally suffocate???

 

[Aquinas]

 

[0 0]

Close your door.

 

[Ol' Puss]

Your cat is literally Kitler and that's his way of gassing you because you're probably a Jew.

EDIT: But if you are serious: https://pets.webmd.com/cats/cat-flatulence-gas#1

 

[Rand /pol/]

Inside cat or outside cat?

 

[Dolphin Lundgren]

Your cat is evil.

 

[A Welsh Cake]

My cat farts occasionally, but when she does it’s always when she’s sitting on me.

 

[Florence]

My cat just drools.

 

[heymate]

What are you feeding it?

 

[Clintonberg]

You have to assert your role as the dominant household alpha pussy. Shit in his litter box and see how he likes it.

 

[UselessRubberKeyboard]

Seriously though, change what you feed your cat. Dry food with occasional wet might make things a little less, er, gaseous.

And burn incense. Lots and lots of incense.

 

[Irwin M. Felcher]

better yet, burn the cat

it's even providing the accelerant

 

[Francis E. Dec Esc.]

 

[Nekromantik]

Does he bite too.

If you are serious, you may be over feeding him. Had the same problem with our cat, cut back on his food a bit and it stopped. Our cat is still a shithead, but at least he isn't leaving big bombs in the litter box any more.

 

[ES 148]

@Y2K Baby

 

[Piss Clam]

Close your door.

Won't work cats will claw at the door all night long.

There was a research paper not many years ago saying cats look at you as just a bigger cat. As a kitten they will crawl right up to your neck and as an adult your fucking feet will do.

Have kicked my cat (not hard) when I was trying to sleep and the bitch just was driving her head in to my feet. Solution blanket.

 

[Red Hood]

At least you don't have a dog. A good dog fart is like tear gas.

 

[UnKillFill]

 

[Inflatable Julay]

Rawr x3 *nuzzles* how are you *pounces on you* you're so warm o3o *notices you have a bulge* o: someone's happy *nuzzles your necky wecky* ~ murr~ hehehe *rubbies your bulgy wolgy* you're so big ooo *rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy* it doesn't stop growing ·///· *kisses you and lickies your necky* daddy likies (; *nuzzles wuzzles* I hope daddy really likes $: *wiggles butt and squirms* I want to see your big daddy meat~ *wiggles butt* I have a little itch o3o *wags tail* can you please get my itch~ *puts paws on your chest* nyea~ its a seven inch itch *rubs your chest* can you help me pwease *squirms* pwetty pwease *sad face* I need to be punished* runs paws down your chest and bites lip* like I need to be punished really good~ *paws on your bulge as I lick my lips* I'm getting thirsty. I can go for some milk *unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow* you smell so musky :v* licks shaft* mmmm~ so musky *drools all over your cock* your daddy meat I like *fondles* Mr. Fuzzy Balls hehe *puts snout on balls and inhales deeply* oh god im so hard~ *licks balls* punish me daddy~ nyea~ *squirms more and wiggles butt* I love your musky goodness *bites lip* please punish me *licks lips* nyea~ *suckles on your tip* so good *licks pre of your cock* salty goodness~ *eyes role back and goes balls deep* mmmm~ *moans and suckles*

 

[Xenomorph]

For the past month my cat has been farting nonstop and it's fucking RANCID! He sleeps on my bed most nights which is fine but lately he's been farting up a storm it makes me want to puke! It stinks up my entire bedroom!

I've tried screaming at him, kicking him, I even called him a dirty faggot the other day but he just. won't. stop. farting.

It stinks so fucking bad how can I make him stop before I literally suffocate???

How old is he?

He may need gentler food might be kicking his gas up with the food he is on now.