My hand is stuck in a pickle jar. Help

[Gin-san]

I wanted a pickle so I opened up a jar of them and grabbed one, but now I can't get my hand out of the jar. What do I do?

 

[Vingle]

I guess you're stuck there until you die

 

[DerKryptid]

Call your mom to come downstairs and then smash the jar over her head

 

[The Last Stand]

Break the jar.

 

[Ophelia Jones]

Shoot the jar. Your hand will be fine.

 

[Marissa Moira]

stop being fat

 

[Gin-san]

Call your mom to come downstairs and then smash the jar over her head

I'm not going to do that. I love my mom.

stop being fat

I'm not fat. Vlasic makes their jars too small.

 

[DerKryptid]

I'm not going to do that. I love my mom.


I'm not fat. Vlasic makes their jars too small.

You're lying about not being fat, so you're obviously lying about loving your mom

 

[Hambubger]

Let go of the pickle

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

Let go of the pickle.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

same way you get out of handcuffs ...

 

[Gin-san]

Let go of the pickle

Let go of the pickle.

No. I want the pickle. I'm not letting go.

 

[Anonymus Fluhre]

No. I want the pickle. I'm not letting go.

Then move your fingers so that you're grasping the tip instead of the shaft.

 

[Nig Kang Theory]

Try putting some light mayo and little dill in there to cool the vinegar down a bit. Mixing it up should be easy right now, voila.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Pour out all the pickle juice into another jar. Then get a straw and use it to suck out the pickle juice from the pickle you're holding, until it's small enough that your hand wrapped around it can exit the jar. If you want, then you can put the desiccated pickle back into the remaining pickle juice to reconstitute it.

 

[naaaaiiiiillllll!!!]

@Cup Noodle since you make your own pickles (curious about an update to that thread btw), I think you’re the preeminent expert here. We need your knowledge to help a fellow kiwi op in need!

 

[Cup Noodle]

Are you a racoon? That is one way to catch a racoon. You drill a hole in a log and drive a nail in at an angle leaving just enough room for the coon to get his hand in. You put some food or something shiny in there. The coon grabs the thing in the bottom of the hole, but after it balls it's fist it is now too big to get by the nail. The coon is too stupid to unball it's fist. The answer is to keep your hand in the jar and wait for someone to come and shoot you.

(curious about an update to that thread btw)

Others have asked also. I'm going to have to get on that. I'll go put them in the fridge because I like them best cold. I'll do an update in the next few days.

 

[JethroTullamore]

Start jerking off with the other hand.

Figure out the rest later.

 

[WhoIsSutterKane]

break the jar over your head

 

[Tragi-Chan]

I’d help, but since I came out as trans I am too weak.