Panic Playdate - An upcoming handheld console from out of time

Pickle Dick

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I was trolling around Wikipedia to see what what handheld systems they consider to be ninth-generation (the current generation video gaming systems are in, i.e. Xbox Series X/S, PS5...). Of course, neither Nintendo or Sony have interest in releasing a next-gen handheld console for the time being, but Panic, the publisher of the video games Firewatch, Untitled Goose Game, and Nour: Play With Your Food, sure does!

Ladies and gentlemen, the Playdate!

Playdate_front-view.png
Playdate.png
The console itself doesn't look that bad, apart from a lack of buttons, and that little crank on the side of the system.

Let's see what's packing in this system.

play.date.png

I would say the price is more reasonable than that of the also-upcoming Intellivision Amico, but lets look a little closer at the mid-section of that specs list.

Midsection.png

>Runs of a system on a chip
:stress:
>180 MHz processor
:stress::stress:

>16 MB RAM
:stress::stress::stress:
>2 GB Flash Storage
:stress::stress::stress::stress:


Is that really worth $149? At most it could've been $99, or at least $49. That is far more for a console with specs like that, especially for a console marketed as next-gen.

And that's not taking into account what that crank is for, here's a video demonstrating the system (lol at "cutting-edge"):

From the looks of it, it appears the crank advances whatever game you're playing forward or backward, almost completely negating the need for most of the other buttons, other than for specific functions in the game.

Here's an official video from Panic also demonstrating the system, albeit in more depth:

Just looking at gameplay footage, it's like a more advanced Tiger Electronic game, just without much of the primitiveness of its presentation.

I don't know what made Wikipedia think this system was next generation, but I guess it'd make for a good novelty system, that is, if it wasn't for the price tag.

Plus, when was there a time where video game consoles, let alone handhelds, had to be cranked in order to play them?
 
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It reminds me of all the people who post shitty graphics-less platformers where you're nothing but a cube and their excuse for publishing it is "it's simple just like mario bros we need to be simple guys :) "

and these retards fail to understand that older systems were designed to be cutting edge at the time, either in performance or a shockingly low cost. This is neither and only hipsters who say they love EarthBound but never played it are interested in this.
 
It reminds me of all the people who post shitty graphics-less platformers where you're nothing but a cube and their excuse for publishing it is "it's simple just like mario bros we need to be simple guys :) "

and these retards fail to understand that older systems were designed to be cutting edge at the time, either in performance or a shockingly low cost. This is neither and only hipsters who say they love EarthBound but never played it are interested in this.
i played like thirty minutes of earthbound and hated it. cool aesthetic shitty game
 
What a bizarre idea, I mean... a crank?

They think they're Nintendo.

Except Nintendo's gimmicks are versatile and dynamic. This is literally linear and can only do one thing. It'd be good for a fucking toddler, wouldn't give it to anyone older than 4 years old though.
 
i played like thirty minutes of earthbound and hated it. cool aesthetic shitty game
I gave Earthbound a go back in 2013 but I'm just not very good at turn based JRPGs and I didn't finish it.

I still would like to go back and play it in full someday though.

They think they're Nintendo.

Except Nintendo's gimmicks are versatile and dynamic. This is literally linear and can only do one thing. It'd be good for a fucking toddler, wouldn't give it to anyone older than 4 years old though.
A toddler would probably break that crank off in an instant though.
 
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The gimmick is not only stupid, but also makes a d-pad almost feel pointless. Only having 2 buttons feels dumb too, the vast majority of games these days are more complicated than just having a run/jump + shoot button.
 
I can see this going one of two ways.
  1. A reasonable hit with a bunch of indie devs craving low level programming making little games for it, like the Pico8, or that BASIC computer the 8bit guy was working on.
  2. Ouya 2.0
It will be interesting to watch either way.
 
The device costs a whole $150 and it doesn't even let you keep any of the games. You have to download them over wifi and the game changes every week, but they're "probably gonna let you play the old games, too, heh." (3:53)

Who the hell is in charge of marketing around here? You're physically limiting your primary demographic to people who are all: a. willing to intentionally limit their technological purchasing power to painfully underpowered but "quirky" playthings, b. relatively affluent enough to have access to a reliable source of wifi 24/7, and c. hardcoded to value transient "experiences" over physical ownership. What type of consumer could this possibly appeal to- oh.
 
They are trying to cash in the nostalgia...

...with shitass hardware and a high price tag, i bet half of that price is because of the stupid crank.
 
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Is that really worth $149? At most it could've been $99, or at least $49. That is far more for a console with specs like that, especially for a console marketed as next-gen.

I think the difficulty in finding a 180 Mhz processor and ram chips that come in 16 MB is probably what drove the price up. They probably had to raid a lot of dumpsters far and wide to source those parts and all those travel costs are reflected in the price.
 
I think the difficulty in finding a 180 Mhz processor and ram chips that come in 16 MB is probably what drove the price up. They probably had to raid a lot of dumpsters far and wide to source those parts and all those travel costs are reflected in the price.
People didn't want to just buy any old piece of shit, they wanted to buy an AUTHENTIC piece of shit.
 
I could have sworn I saw this as a Kickstarter or an article a year or two ago. Always wondered if I was insane or glimpsed a different timeline.

Nice to know I am in worst timeline.
 
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