Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

[ink]

Mostly amazed he managed to refrain from finishing any sentence with child or stalker or some variation thereof.

 

[Windows 10 Upgrade]

I tried to cap the best parts for anyone who can't read the whole thing, but I encourage you to do so. It is fucking gold.

Piggy doesn't know his own name:

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Piggy doesn't understand:

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Piggy tries to explain the pests:

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Sir, don't do that:

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The moment that piggy's case falls apart (Andrew is the respondent here):

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Judge explains how he sees it, piggy gets stroppy:

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Piggy wants to appeal:

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There is a thing called AMICABLE CONTEST in several laws in several countries where if Person A Says "I'm gonna kick your ass" and Person B replies: "Just you try, come and get me, I won't need to call 911" and Person A turns up (even if nothing happens) Person B cannot then accuse person A of coming to kick his ass.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

These transcripts are all I ever wanted and more. The only way it could be better is if the audio logs ever get posted, particularly for the pepperoni bit. I'm dying to hear Patrick's exact inflection and tone during the aside he got admonished for.

 

[James done did it]

These transcripts are all I ever wanted and more. The only way it could be better is if the audio logs ever get posted, particularly for the pepperoni bit. I'm dying to hear Patrick's exact inflection and tone during the aside he got admonished for.

the best part about pat is you don't need the audio because you know this cartoon character motherfucker was making his gay chiding mother voice when he said "Didn't you?"

 

[SixPennyWalnut]

He now owes Quasi the best part of $40,000 - oopsie doodles

 

[Mr Moonface]

One of my favorite parts is this:



The last Opie and Anthony show was in in 2014. It is now 2022 and Pat is trying to explain the culture behind the show during a restraining order hearing. I can only imagine how baffled the judge was at this point. Beautiful.

 

[Meriasek]

Oh, this is just wonderful.
"Sir, don't do that". Brilliant.

 

[MilkThePig]

The only way it could be better is if the audio logs ever get posted, particularly for the pepperoni bit.

You've probably heard it already but this is how he sounded when explaining it on his Strictly Stalking appearance...

Sounds like a confession more than anything to me. Absolutely chilling stuff.

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

One of my favorite parts is this:

View attachment 3153915

The last Opie and Anthony show was in in 2014. It is now 2022 and Pat is trying to explain the culture behind the show during a restraining order hearing. I can only imagine how baffled the judge was at this point. Beautiful.

...I didn't want to bring up the subreddit

r/ONA hootin and hollerin

edit: actually you don't have to imagine, here's the best example of the last time someone went toe to toe with the b-b-b-boys

Joe Cumia on the People's Court

 

[instythot]

These transcripts are all I ever wanted and more. The only way it could be better is if the audio logs ever get posted, particularly for the pepperoni bit. I'm dying to hear Patrick's exact inflection and tone during the aside he got admonished for.

See, I think more comedy is going to come from the judge's end. I suspect we'll hear a lot of untranscribed sighs and the judge being obviously annoyed at having to hear this. Also struggling to remain professional

Judge: so you're saying there's a site I could just google?
Patrick: fails to name onaforums, kiwifarms or produce any of Andrew's forum posts

 

[polyester]

If there are any legalfags around, I have two questions about the transcript:

1) THE COURT introduces himself as "Commissioner Jason Mishelow". He also says: "Both parties have the right to appeal my decision to the judge". Does that mean this hearing wasn't actually in front of a judge, but rather just some court employee (or whatever the hell a commissioner is)?

2) How on earth is it legal for a defendant to be served just 1 hour before the hearing starts, with no time to hire representation etc.? That's kinda scary. Kudos to Andrew for holding his own despite that,

 

[Kaede Did Nothing Wrong]

sneed, child.

 

[NotFatChild]

great greggshells bit, regarding the transcripts - they're hilarious, but I could tell how it was going to go immediately after the judge's first question was

Does that -- does that
mean -- Does that indicate that you did not
see him at that bar?

after he said no, im sure the judge was thinking the same thing all of us here regularly think. 'holy shit what a fat faggot.'

 

[Meat Target]

I am no longer surly, knowing this has been uttered in a very serious court of law.

 

[Kendall Motor Oil]

He now owes Quasi the best part of $40,000 - oopsie doodles

Now will Quasi eventually come to collect? Fatrick can't tell the government "no" and come out unscathed. I guess we will find out at the end of the year.

 

[AprilRains]

I am no longer surly, knowing this has been uttered in a very serious court of law.

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Is it weird that I can hear his bitch tits in that excerpt?

 

[Pat's Pointer Finger]

Do stenographers get to input little narrator notes?

S: The petitioner sighed fatly.

 

[Cold Root Beer]

I knew this fat faggot was autistic about always getting the last word in, but its insane he actually did that shit to the judge.

 

[Chan the Wizard]

Fatrick was there by himself, right? Why does he always refer to himself as “we?”

 

[SixPennyWalnut]

Now will Quasi eventually come to collect? Fatrick can't tell the government "no" and come out unscathed. I guess we will find out at the end of the year.

He’s already hired a specialist law firm to collect on his behalf, and he’s already been billed the cost of doing so onto his principle with everything else. Some Chad Asian guy called Jerry. I’m going to enjoy what happens to Pat nexxxxT.