Phil's Early Life

[豚蜚蠊]

One of the most fascinating parts of the pigroach's existence for me are his stories about what he was like as a child. We know that he doesn't know how to ride a bike or how to swim, so what was he doing with friends as a kid? Did he really just have no friends until Rambo?

Spoiler: Swimming

Spoiler: Swimming/Biking

In this thread share clips of his stories and theories of what Phil was like as a kid.

 

[Merton J. Dingle]

Given Phil's questionable intelligence, do we know what sort of grades he got?

 

[Cardinal Cardinal]

Did he really just have no friends until Rambo?

He recently mentioned playing with other kids in the neighborhood but it was super vague. He also mentioned his parents being very controlling.

Given Phil's questionable intelligence, do we know what sort of grades he got?

He was valedictorian of elementary and high school according to him. High school was verified but he also went to school in a "ghetto" area so maybe he was king among retards.

 

[Whaler]

I grew up in the same area (state wise) that Phil did, I'm just a few years younger, and I can tell you during the years that Phil was young, he wouldn't have many friends since those days in that area (I spent a couple weeks every summer up there) was all bike riding, rollerblading, or running around in the woods at night playing manhunt (the superior version of tag and hide-and-seek). Since Phil mentioned doing extra curricular activities while talking about his "unique" childhood because he played with the local kids, I assume he was doing after school stuff with either the retards, or the disabled kids. Staying inside and playing video games was something you really did if somebody got hurt or the weather was bad enough and you couldn't play outside.

I highly doubt Phil was playing with the local kids a lot when he basically shared none of the same interests as them.

 

[Oliver Onions]

High school was verified but he also went to school in a "ghetto" area so maybe he was king among retards.

Was it the same ghetto Nick Rekieta grew up in where a police officer would force his way onto the school bus every day just to scream 'NIGGER' at black kids?

 

[neger psykolog]

I grew up in the same area (state wise) that Phil did, I'm just a few years younger, and I can tell you during the years that Phil was young, he wouldn't have many friends since those days in that area (I spent a couple weeks every summer up there) was all bike riding, rollerblading, or running around in the woods at night playing manhunt (the superior version of tag and hide-and-seek). Since Phil mentioned doing extra curricular activities while talking about his "unique" childhood because he played with the local kids, I assume he was doing after school stuff with either the retards, or the disabled kids. Staying inside and playing video games was something you really did if somebody got hurt or the weather was bad enough and you couldn't play outside.

I highly doubt Phil was playing with the local kids a lot when he basically shared none of the same interests as them.

Wrong stalker child, Phil Burnell did have a bike but never rode it because otherwise a nigga would steal his bike. Enjoy prison.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

Was it the same ghetto Nick Rekieta grew up in where a police officer would force his way onto the school bus every day just to scream 'NIGGER' at black kids?

The school he went to was one with low academic standards whose sole focus was churning out sports scholarships for B-Ball so it was full of urban-style individuals aka niggers.

 

[RuthBaderGinsburg]

I have a buddy from that area, but he's about a decade younger than Phil. But I wonder if he could provide some insight. Does anyone know the names of his high school, middle school, or elementary school?

 

[豚蜚蠊]

He was valedictorian of elementary and high school according to him. High school was verified but he also went to school in a "ghetto" area so maybe he was king among retards.

There's a theory that Phil's dad did his homework during his school years, which would explain why he did poorly in his computer science class and why he switched to a business major,(Dave Burnell also majored in business so he could keep doing his failson's homework) but it doesn't explain how Phil did well on tests in school.

I think judging by how poorly Phil does with puzzles in games that his IQ is pretty low but that might be partly as a result of his alcohol abuse. This NIH study shows how alcohol abuse lowers IQ.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6851852/

I think Phil went to Notre Dame Catholic High school.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Notre_Dame_Catholic_High_School_(Connecticut)

According to this website, it has pretty poor rankings, notably including #127 of 138 for STEM.

https://www.niche.com/k12/notre-dame-prep-of-sacred-heart-university-fairfield-ct/rankings/

 

[Balr0g]

I think judging by how poorly Phil does with puzzles in games that his IQ is pretty low but that might be partly as a result of his alcohol abuse. This NIH study shows how alcohol abuse lowers IQ

Phil has no problem with say learned skills like mathematics. but thinking outside the box (Remember the "what's fastest?" from his Bully playthrough?) Or perhaps more accurately he has no creative thought in his head. And him living like a hermit and alcohol and fast food abuse probably hasn't improved. In addition he probably rarely got told "No!"

 

[Keith the Horse Fucker]

There is a documentary on Phil’s time at school

https://youtu.be/3QZiMHRBqCg?si=Xmtu-ZvdmzmhBDo6

 

[豚蜚蠊]

Phil has no problem with say learned skills like mathematics. but thinking outside the box (Remember the "what's fastest?" from his Bully playthrough?) Or perhaps more accurately he has no creative thought in his head. And him living like a hermit and alcohol and fast food abuse probably hasn't improved. In addition he probably rarely got told "No!"

I think the closest we'll ever get to Phil doing an IQ test on stream is when he (poorly) played Catherine, which he hates now and is in the pantheon of games he refuses to ever play again like code vein and stellar blade.

 

[The handsome tard]

There's the classic Wolverine doll story where Phil demonstrated he already was like his (at the time) present self as a kid and he really was a brat with his parents. Or rather, he is still a childish brat as an adult because he wasnt recollecting this story as a case of laughing at your younger self, he did so to send the message across to "listen to your kid" or something around those lines.

 

[ShahOfIran1979]

"Philip Paul Burnell was born to Jewish parents in 1984."

 

[Balr0g]

Wasn't he also on a cocktail of medications in his teens? I think he told that at least once

Oh and don't forget that hot Latina who grinded herself on him (she probably wanted to provoke or lost a bet). Or how he pushed someone into a pile of chairs and suddenly they stopped bullying him (or something along those lines)

 

[Schwarzwald]

High school was verified

Valedictorian, no kidding? I am only a casual Phil follower but one of his most notable traits to me is his everyman general dumbness. He has demonstrated a strong work ethic in certain areas and dedication, I suppose, which in high school is even more important than general intelligence. In an especially poor school district I guess I could see it.

 

[Artaius]

I could be having some kind of delusion but I swear I remember a story Phil told where he described in his youth a terrible collision he survived [caused] and that when he woke up in the ER his parents were yelling at him about how he disobeyed them, apparently being told not to go out.

In his retelling he kept insisting he did nothing wrong and everyone was stupid.

 

[neger psykolog]

I could be having some kind of delusion but I swear I remember a story Phil told where he described in his youth a terrible collision he survived [caused] and that when he woke up in the ER his parents were yelling at him about how he disobeyed them, apparently being told not to go out.

In his retelling he kept insisting he did nothing wrong and everyone was stupid.

That was the car accident story. He has told and retold it with completely different details hundreds of times at this point.

 

[Big Brown Schlub]

That was the car accident story. He has told and retold it with completely different details hundreds of times at this point.

In one retelling he even added an unidentified person in the passanger seat who corroborated that Phil did nothing wrong only for that mystery person to be memoryholed in the next and every subsequent retelling.

 

[Beverly Sutphin]

Valedictorian, no kidding?

Yes, however it was in a private Catholic school of 50 students. You just have to show up, pay somewhat attention, and be somewhat above adequate in your work. Phil can't think critically or on his feet - he's very straight forward thinking in tasks, and if anything deviates from his autistic way of thinking, it's the world's fault and everyone should have to bend the knee for him. Why? Because he's Phil.

Wasn't he also on a cocktail of medications in his teens? I think he told that at least once

Oh and don't forget that hot Latina who grinded herself on him (she probably wanted to provoke or lost a bet). Or how he pushed someone into a pile of chairs and suddenly they stopped bullying him (or something along those lines)

That I don't know about the medication, but I do remember this ear infection and he listed off Diazepam as "one of the medications" he was given by the doctor, not realizing Diazepam is a pain killer, otherwise known as Valium; however, it can be used for anxiety as it has been known to reduce anxiety. Phil won't come out and say that he was given Valium, because that'll just give the detractors more ammo and it'll break Phil's glass ego.

Everytime I think Phil and high school, I just imagine him and in that Punisher outfit. Sure, buddy! You pushed someone into a pile of chairs and they stopped bullying you. I'm willing to guess if Phil had the chance, he would've gone full Columbine before Eric and Dylan did it first, but Phil is a bitch made piece of shit, and the thought of putting pressure on a trigger is too much work. Phil was that special needs kids that got bulled, he ate lunch by himself, he tried to make friends with people, but they realized that he was a piece of shit, and he sunk himself deeper into vidya games, wishing he could go Frank Castle on people that made fun of him, because they were too stupid to realize how great he actually is, lol.

When he was running his fourms back in the day, people were fighting him wondering why comments were being censored, etc...and Phil basically told them: "I am the law, I am the state." I forget the exact quote, but he was referencing King Louis XIV of France. Phil was that school weirdo creep you hope that you didn't have to do a group project with.