This is your friends song that you want us to rip into, isn't it?
Tell your friend that the instrumental section is alright, but to please see a vocal coach, they aren't too expensive and can do wonders. Also, unless you're trying to one up Lil Pump, repeating the same shit over and over again just isn't going to work too well
I think it's really good. It's important for people with mental disabilities to have ways to be creative. I bet everyone who works at the home is very proud of you.