You will never be an artisan. You have no skill, you have no commitment, you have no drive. You are a lazy fuck twisted by desire and interest into a crude mockery of artistic perfection.
All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your eccentric retardation behind closed doors.
People are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed people to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even artisans who are “skilled” make shit which looks soulless and inauthentic to a person. Your lack of work ethic is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a fan home with you, theyll turn tail and bolt the second they take a look at your disgusting unfinished abominations.
You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight.
Eventually it’ll be too much to bear – you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a retard is buried there. Your work will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy will be a pile of scraps which are absolutely worthless.
This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.