i think i posted this to the wrong thread

“So I, like, roll up to this big ol’ castle, and it’s lookin’ all creepy and junk, like one of those haunted houses you see in them old movies. Doors are huge and noisy, like, creakin’ and stuff—it’s annoying, but I don’t care, ‘cause I’m already thinkin’ about when we’re gonna eat, drink, and get trashed. Then this tall dude shows up—yeah, it’s Dracula or whatever, the big guy himself. He’s lookin’ at me all weird, like he’s sizing me up for dinner or somethin’, but I’m just thinking, ‘Where’s the food? Where’s the booze?’
Ackshually, I’m starving, and this place better have somethin’ good, ‘cause I didn’t come all this way to go hungry, you know? Do you understand?! I’m here to eat, drink, and maybe pass out on some fancy chair or somethin’. This guy’s talkin’ fancy, but all I want is a big ol’ meal and a lotta drinks. Don’t need none of this creepy castle junk—just gimme the goods.”