Containment Random Chris Updates

[GherkinRealness]

Imagine working with the producers at a children's cartoon studio, and one of the key influences on their SWOT diagrams is "Autistic adults"...

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Still laren Faust being a troon would explain so much... almost everything in fact

No, her husband being a troon would explain so much.

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

While I agree Chris himself is the reason he is such a failure, I still believe his shitty upbringing molded him to be the lazy piece of shit he is. This comes from his parents coddling him, and treating him as though he should be part of normal kids with no treatment for his mental issues. Chris was likely never disciplined and his parents also enabled Chris’ behavior like him being more special than others. It didn’t help Barb actively discouraged Chris from having form of independence.

Chris is a shitty human being for the amount of stuff he pulls but he was essentially given a bad hand in life that transformed him into the idiotic tard he is today.

The thing is, even though Chris is one of the most documented people in existence, we still only know less than 1% of what's shaped his life. So many days are unrecorded, and those that are often come from the unreliable narrator himself. That adds to the whole excitement and mystery, as we try to uncover Chris's life the same way archeologists slowly brush away the dust, revealing a Roman mosaic on a buried temple floor in Tuscany.

It'll always be the unholy triumvirate of Parenting (or lack of), Genetics (or lack of), and Will (or lack of) that summoned this Hellspawn to our world.

Then again...

It could also be possible that in 2043, a brilliant mind and unparalleled scientist called Christian Weston Chandler forsaw the doom of mankind, be it from an asteroid, plague, war, or race of oversexed mutant hedgehogs, and tried to send a mental warning back in time to himself, carried on tachyons and steered into Barbara Chandler's womb. Alas his calculations were off, and the beam bounced a nanoangstrom of a degree off of the clutter at the side of the bed where Bob and Barb were making the beast with two backs, and hit Bob's wrinkly balls at the incorrect trajectory.

Chris's brain now tries to warn us of the merge, our OCs, and the importance of the Brony Cons because his mortal mind is mistranslating the genesis of Skynet, the threat of the Tyranids, or the arrival of Hellstar Remina. I swear to God it wouldn't be that much crazier if we find out the number of times he farts and belches on live stream are the morse code blueprints for a trans-dimensional ark that will take us all to safety.

 

[Fapcop]

Jenny! Yeah that was a very informative video

What's weird about the stuff she said vs. Chris is that Chris isn't the loving, bonding type of person. He's on the creepy side. All fandoms have creepy people but the Bronies have Chris to deal with so perhaps they have it worst of all

Yeah, it was cool. I liked that girl. There aren’t many on YouTube who can pull off an 80 minute long video of mostly sitting and staring at the camera and talking, but she had the charisma and the eloquence to pull it off.

As for Chris, he was a proto Brony, and probably got introduced to MLP by Megan in 2006. (Though he may have catched some of the old cartoons as a kid. All we know is that he had a pony on hand for the Future Message video, and specifically mentioned it as a way to understand/reach out to the opposite sex: Hi Megan!)

Then Bronies happened, and Chris with his prior MLP experience decided to get involved and mooch off their kindness and chill attitude.

(Ironically, this creepy weirdo probably got better received by the Bronies than the old female fans who liked MLP since the 80ies.)

They're sure are a lot of old people in this thread tonight. The random Chris update thread is derailing into a second western animation one. I get it Chris has hit another dry spell.

Just some ol’ autists shooting the breeze and waiting for Barb to die. Or Chris to do something mildly interesting.

pretty much, he may have just gotten into it because Meghan collected the og ponies from the 80s, but still, he was ahead of the curve.

I’m sure the reception Chris received probably also had something to do with how he doubled down on pony shit.

Many of the Bronies Chris met at cons were old 4channers and knew about Chris, and reacted with a “OMG M! Cwc himself! Can I get a selfie with you dude?”

And Chris, of course not knowing the difference between being famous and infamous basked in the perceived glory, and sucked it down like a 20 pc Chicken McNugget.

Just look at the videos from the Bronycon in Baltimore, where he smugly tells a cabdriver that he’s a celebrity and kind of a big deal.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Just some ol’ autists shooting the breeze and waiting for Barb to die. Or Chris to do something mildly interesting.

Because the only thing more autistic than a bunch of over grown children obsessing over kids shows are the legions of strangers on kiwi farms who follow their every move just for cheap kicks.

 

[Second Missing Primarch]

Chris named one of his Pokemon Vanessa for some reason.

That goes way the hell back to the Cwcipedia days. He listed a Gardevoir named Vanessa as one of the Pokemon he used in his capacity as CWCville gym leader on the Cwcipedia page about Sonichu. Best guess is he named it after Vanessa Hudgens, since this was around the time that one guy pretended to be her to troll him.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

While I agree Chris himself is the reason he is such a failure, I still believe his shitty upbringing molded him to be the lazy piece of shit he is. This comes from his parents coddling him, and treating him as though he should be part of normal kids with no treatment for his mental issues. Chris was likely never disciplined and his parents also enabled Chris’ behavior like him being more special than others. It didn’t help Barb actively discouraged Chris from having form of independence.

Chris is a shitty human being for the amount of stuff he pulls but he was essentially given a bad hand in life that transformed him into the idiotic tard he is today.

On a unrelated note, what’s it with people who fail to troll Chris that gets them idolized or treated as though they were a victim when they get themselves involved with Chris to begin with

There's no denying he didn't receive the proper upbringing to wrangle his tardness and of course that would weight on himu but I mean, he has been a legal adult for 20 years now and at some point personal responsibility overrides any excuses about parenting or the school system. Many people grow in fucked up homes,any people are diagnoses at adult age and as such never received treatment during their upbringing, is still their responsibility at that point.

If Chris was way more low functioning and if Barb and Bob were abusive and not just ignorant boomers then yeah, that would sealed it but Chris is kind of in the middle were he can't truly say he had it that much worse than everyone. Even dumber and more fucked up people than him manage to get a job at a gas station or something and not embarrass themselves to this extreme.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

There's no denying he didn't receive the proper upbringing to wrangle his tardness and of course that would weight on himu but I mean, he has been a legal adult for 20 years now and at some point personal responsibility overrides any excuses about parenting or the school system. Many people grow in fucked up homes,any people are diagnoses at adult age and as such never received treatment during their upbringing, is still their responsibility at that point.

If Chris was way more low functioning and if Barb and Bob were abusive and not just ignorant boomers then yeah, that would sealed it but Chris is kind of in the middle were he can't truly say he had it that much worse than everyone. Even dumber and more fucked up people than him manage to get a job at a gas station or something and not embarrass themselves to this extreme.

Well it's more that he had the unholy ingredients of untreated mental illness, bad genetics, terrible parents (mostly Barb while Bob tried his best but didn't do well), and Chris having a horrible personality that no one ever checked properly.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

Well it's more that he had the unholy ingredients of untreated mental illness, bad genetics, terrible parents (mostly Barb while Bob tried his best but didn't do well), and Chris having a horrible personality that no one ever checked properly.

At least Chris is not a serial killer yet

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

At least Chris is not a serial killer yet

He's killed more than his fair share of vision.

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

At least Chris is not a serial killer yet

do pets count?

 

[A Grey Cat]

. Even dumber and more fucked up people than him manage to get a job at a gas station or something and not embarrass themselves to this extreme.

The entire tard baby thread begs to differ, it's a wonder barb and Bob didn't try to let Chris get kidnapped or drown in a pool "accident" when they realized what a burden he'd become. Even parents of modern tardies are so stressed from raising 20 year old babies that suicides and offing the offspring rates among them are staggering.

 

[Picklechu]

Chris named one of his Pokemon Vanessa for some reason.

I think it was the name of Chris-chans Gardevour from Rosechu's story. I am not sure if the author came up with this herself tho. It might as well be a piece of forgotten CWC lore.

That goes way the hell back to the Cwcipedia days. He listed a Gardevoir named Vanessa as one of the Pokemon he used in his capacity as CWCville gym leader on the Cwcipedia page about Sonichu. Best guess is he named it after Vanessa Hudgens, since this was around the time that one guy pretended to be her to troll him.

I think it's like InuYasha the Blaziken; he's trying to make his team in Pokemon Go. I anticipate we'll see Greg the Swampert, Christina the Sceptile, and Bagoner the Salamence at some point. I think it pre-dates Vanessa Hudgens, but I don't remember. I assume that they were an actual in-game team for him at some point in Pokemon Ruby/Sapphire, since his whole team building strategy has apparently always been all three starters + three random pogeymans.

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

Because the only thing more autistic than a bunch of over grown children obsessing over kids shows are the legions of strangers on kiwi farms who follow their every move just for cheap kicks.

I think I mentioned this a little more tactfully the other day that paradoxically, we are part of the Chris Chan enigma. Even by being a passive observer, you uniquely become a part of his world. Something about looking into the abyss, and it looking back.

Nerd culture's always a sliding scale of cool. The jocks look down on the normies. The normies look down on the nerds. The warhammer players look down on the larpers. The larpers look down at the Undertale fanatics, who look down at the Trekkies, who look down on wrestling fans, who look down at the bronies, who look at people who look down at the furries, who look down on trannies, who are so far down they have to look up to see a goblin shark in the Mariana Trench. But then, it's spaghetti. They're all in a heap, with nobody truly on top... cept the Jews, but they fear the samurai, who fear the musket, that fears the feminist. Somehow tying all of this together is Kiwi Farms. We are the lowest of the low, but fuck it, we are unclouded by delusion.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I think I mentioned this a little more tactfully the other day that paradoxically, we are part of the Chris Chan enigma. Even by being a passive observer, you uniquely become a part of his world. Something about looking into the abyss, and it looking back.

Nerd culture's always a sliding scale of cool. The jocks look down on the normies. The normies look down on the nerds. The warhammer players look down on the larpers. The larpers look down at the Undertale fanatics, who look down at the Trekkies, who look down on wrestling fans, who look down at the bronies, who look at people who look down at the furries, who look down on trannies, who are so far down they have to look up to see a goblin shark in the Mariana Trench. But then, it's spaghetti. They're all in a heap, with nobody truly on top... cept the Jews, but they fear the samurai, who fear the musket, that fears the feminist. Somehow tying all of this together is Kiwi Farms. We are the lowest of the low, but fuck it, we are unclouded by delusion.

You know I worded my post so it would look good as a random txt quote but you...brother if kiwi farms was a religion you would be the first scholar to pen the first book of the kiwi farms bible.


Alternatively if I may quote Alien: you still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organisms. Their structural perfection is matched only by their own hostility. A survivors... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.
Describes us perfectly doesn't it?

 

[GherkinRealness]

You know I worded my post so it would look good as a random txt quote but you...brother if kiwi farms was a religion you would be the first scholar to pen the first book of the kiwi farms bible.


Alternatively if I may quote Alien: you still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? The perfect organisms. Their structural perfection is matched only by their own hostility. A survivors... unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.
Describes us perfectly doesn't it?

A beautiful way of re-describing the term "we laugh at idiots on the internet"

 

[Tiger Tanaka]

Describes us perfectly doesn't it?

I think you've stumbled onto a very good point there. I'd see us more as the android though; we masquerade as normies to most, but we're here to see evil take over. Take the scene where Dallas is in the vents, and Lambert is screaming hysterically for him to move. Dallas panics, and she panics, but Ash stays quiet and watches. He offers no insight. Even when he offers his sympathies at the end, there's that cold and cruel smile.

The alien on the other hand is like the perfect lolcow. People like Ralph or Andy Warski would be examples of its hostility. They think they're in control, and secure in their bubble, until the alien bursts from their chests and they unknowingly give birth to another lolcow.

We're Weyland Yutani pawns trying to control or weaponize the lolcow, and sooner or later, the company, or the alien is going to fuck us up too.

EDIT - And I'm going off topic so I'm going to STFU till chris does something lulzy again.

 

[A Grey Cat]

I think you've stumbled onto a very good point there. I'd see us more as the android though; we masquerade as normies to most, but we're here to see evil take over. Take the scene where Dallas is in the vents, and Lambert is screaming hysterically for him to move. Dallas panics, and she panics, but Ash stays quiet and watches. He offers no insight. Even when he offers his sympathies at the end, there's that cold and cruel smile.

The alien on the other hand is like the perfect lolcow. People like Ralph or Andy Warski would be examples of its hostility. They think they're in control, and secure in their bubble, until the alien bursts from their chests and they unknowingly give birth to another lolcow.

We're Weyland Yutani pawns trying to control or weaponize the lolcow, and sooner or later, the company, or the alien is going to fuck us up too.

EDIT - And I'm going off topic so I'm going to STFU till chris does something lulzy again.

Discussions like this are why I'm glad I signed the blood contract and joined up with you people.

 

[rVeRSeSI]

I don’t have Facebook so can you screencap that

EDIT Was an issue with my phone, also dear lord these people are stupid



I am not sure if these are dumb children or people wanting efame (could be both), but Chris had so many tard wranglers that no one will efficiently wrangle him unless they actually know him.

Mostly it's fame thirst but there are some people out there who generally give a shit but they just end up used or it fails miserably. He's a lost cause at this point.

 

[IsaacShraeder]

Dios Mio