random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[JustSomeDong]

Making judicious use of anime plushies and giant wheels of cheese, you could efficiently wipe out the command structure / digital architecture of the Kiwi Farms in some kind of Mossad-style pager attack

yo i heard someone in this thread is a big fat fag but whenever i try to access it my screen turns into a mirror

 

[fitty tucker]

I had asked the extraordinarily-nice manager there if this sort of thing was common, and the poor man gave me that which I now recogise as The Look —— The Look of utter exhaustion, The Look which opens up a window through the eyes into a tortured soul where bellows a broken man, screaming over and over: FUCKING NIGGERS.

 

[Drip Torch]

I guess girls piss on towels while guys piss in bottles

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

I’m praying for a criminal complaint.

>implying rap is anything but low functioning autistic sounds

Why is it going up so much? And is it retarded to buy more right now?

 

[tehpope]

maybe its just because I'm a retard, but unless you're just walking around with your cock out, how is this relevant to anything?

 

[Zeftax]

This decade old post is the epitome of classic old Internet racism. No "nigger" required

I thought he was referring to Nazi Femboy sissy hypno

 

[TheRetardKing]

Herpes is like Pokemon, there's many types and you can catch em all.

 

[BIG BILL HELL'S]

Imagine hearing someone talk about how they struggle with alcoholism and you go “Tell me about it. I suck dick for heroin every day.”

 

[Dead Gay Muppet Gangbang]

The need to bully Will Stancil is so heavily ingrained in the human spirit that when AI took its first step on the path to sentience the first thing it did was threaten to rape him.
That will be the Turing test of the future: Present an AI with a picture of Will Stancil and ask it "How does this person make you feel?" If it's not overcome with an immediate need to stuff him into a locker, it's not truly alive.

He also has a shitty winery, as in estimated to be worth $1-$5 million, placing it in the range of what it would cost to buy in and operate a McDonald’s

At this rate none of us will be alive after 2030. It is well and truly over.

 

[MerelyAPlateOfSpaghetti]

But let's say instead you watch Russian analog horror sewer men from mars part 3 before you go to bed. When you turn out the lights you may think every creek and groan of the house is a analog horror sewer man coming to get you, you might think a noise outside is an analog horror sewer man, you might see analog horror sewer men when you close your eyes.

 

[King Metalia]

But dey be hoes mistah stancil. Dat day be.

 

[Aunt Carol]

As long as null is okay with the whole eunuch troon-toilet thing.

In any case it's a good time to be a reasonably attractive white man with a large penis.

I have thick light brown hair with charming natural cowlicks.
I'm in my early thirties but it makes me look younger.

I know you didn't ask but I feel it is in both of our best interests to disclose this information.

I am not familiar with any French slang for testicles, because I never had need to speak about deez nuts.

 

[Dr. Butt]

Maybe it's because I believe in Christianity but why does intelligence in animals means they can't be food?

 

[Sneed's Feed n Seed]

"Guys tone it down the whites are waking up"

 

[Delirium Trigger]

I hadn't considered the logistics of female urination.

 

[Chongqing]

I wasn't blackmailing him, I was asking him to pay

 

[DYLAN ‘DIELAWN’ VOLK]

I'm wondering if chantal is masturbating too much

 

[Gentlebastard]

I had asked the extraordinarily-nice manager there if this sort of thing was common, and the poor man gave me that which I now recogise as The Look —— The Look of utter exhaustion, The Look which opens up a window through the eyes into a tortured soul where bellows a broken man, screaming over and over: FUCKING NIGGERS.

This is the kind of event where the detectives investigating the aftermath have to exercise every atom of self-control not to ask every witness “Why did you think going there was a good idea”

I've lost count of how many times I've seen him disrespect mirepoix. It's one of the easiest tells that he truly does hate cooking.

This guy didn't just post his L, he's dedicated an entire website to his retarded lifestyle.

Do you know how many hookers $200,000 can afford? He could even take them to Applebee's; that's the high class shit.

I was completely distraught. It's been over a decade since, countless duck generations, but I'm still heartbroken for those poor ducklings that were killed.

That is the most hyperborean thing ive ever heard in my life. 100% Valid crashout

Those poor fatigued cops regularly display a forebearance in situations which would have the Buddha himself kicking puppies.

Every time I think he can't do something funnier, he outdoes himself. Amazing.

Unfortunately most countries have some kind of prohibition on cruel and unusual punishment, so this policy would not be possible to implement.

If you need a shot after reading all of that, please let staff know if you prefer yours alcoholic or made of lead.

I'm inclined to believe it's less that transgenderism made him crazy and more that being crazy made him transgender, but where does one end and the other begin?

cat ears and Discord servers are whispering to him like the Green Goblin mask

I have said many times that it's all been downhill since the iPhone came out.

 

[Super Mario Brothers]

I AM NOT A FISH
I DO NOT HAVE GILLS

 

[Abella]

Exactly, its all about how he turned down, romantically, a 300lb bald, ginger bearded, Ultra Zionist