random_text.txt / Random Quotes - Back in the day it was literally a text file on the webserver called random_text.txt and now it's a whole thing.

[Meat Target]

That was a private flight Dirty Sanchez's bald dildo paid for, why are you pretending to be a Communist all of a sudden?

 

[CallmeCicada]

wait, I forgot that I'm not white, but Italian.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I'm a dyke and I only date women who agree with my values, hate trannies, and allow me to say nigger.

Don't worry, you are the least faggy customer of Wells Fargo Bank I have met.

That's a lot of exclamation points in a tweet about how she is dying.

 

[Solomon Bundy]

Currently, I hide my lust for Marjorie Taylor-Green. Crossfit Gun Mommy gives me a raging fear-boner.

 

[Pee Cola]

kiwifarms is only about homemade autism, these store brought niggas can go fuck themselves.

 

[Dr. Butt]

speaking as an ACTUAL HOMOSEXUAL

 

[Béziers Curb]

*moans* OH! I'm so close im not gonna come, im trynna...mmmooooooooooove on

So, you can eat your own pussy like a common dog, then?

 

[neger psykolog]

Geez, Sara I really feel bad for you because he is really into foreplay despite what you claim. He might be gay, thats still up for a solid running debate, but he did eat pussy for hours and he was good at it, I will give him that. I say was, because in hindsight, its is much better to do it myself and not deal with risking having my juices sampled by the bug eater when he's done with me. I dont think I'll ever be able to wash my brain of this for a while, absolutely horrifying and disgusting.

 

[UnsufficentBoobage]

If something odd happens, I swear I'm just chucking it in the river - let the salmon enjoy a bit of paranormal activity

I have angered Mussolini, god of public transport with that pineapple pizza

the ghost of an Apache alcoholic saved my life

was once walking to a gas station at like 3 in the morning and I had a homeless black guy approached me saying he was actually king of the United States and Obama was a false king and if I gave him some change he'd bless me. I told him I don't carry any cash and he went on his way without any fuss. On my way back home from the gas station a bat flew down and landed on the front of my pants staring up at me for a bit before flying off. This probably wouldn't have happened if I'd paid the tithe to the king and received his blessing

korean mass murderer who has been on the loose for years

Once again, I come with a message for all people in the United States: Don't let the fact that you can get a gun in America distract you from the fact that other people can get a gun in America.

I read "admitted to ape", which also makes some sense in contex.

He cannot let go because then he'll be Cuckolded by Bean again

All getting your minis early means is you get a 6 month head start on everyone else when it comes to Not Painting Your Minis.

He is supremely autistic and enjoys, like, four things

That movie’s opening weekend is gonna be one guy who wandered into the wrong theater

was about to say, she looks like my cousin over in Donegal. Not the illiterate one. The other one

The entire town looks like they've just walked out of the job centre at Innsmouth.

I had a homeless guy very quickly escalate from "get me something to eat" to "give me your dick." I'm not sure if it was a thank you or what.

I had a conversation with one, who was wearing a woman's dress, his ID picture was taped over with electrical tape, he told me that California was actually just a cave and that he was trapped in a rape dungeon for years. After a long rambling "conversation" I gave him an orange and made my exit

Those niggas don't know shit bout minky momo.

Upon giving me my lighter back, he got down on his hands and knees and blew cigarette smoke on the ground, stating that "The Earth likes to smoke to.".

Kill Mongul? One of his bastards rises up. Kill Brainiac? Good luck with that. Kill Darkseid? He’s gonna make a universe where you look like the gay guy from Dune

IT'S ALL GAY!! STOP TRYING TO JEW THE SYSTEM JUST FUCK A WOMAN!!

I poke my head out of the gutter for one freaking second, and this thread shovels endless homos in my face.

I'm sure I could paralyze one with a brick and she'd still be calling me a pussy for not hitting her harder because she needs that to cum.

These words mean absolutely nothing.

You are being domesticated by a screen and losing the ability to communicate. Once you are unable to say what you mean, you lose the ability to speak at all.

This is a form of censorship that is never talked about.

Is there any way I can turn myself ESL so that I can't understand what this post says?

Besides everything I say on KF, this is probably the smartest thing said on KF.

My right hand is delighted to hear that

Never ask a man his wage.

A woman, her age.

Or a homosexual how big the age gap was when they first 'discovered' themselves.

I'd rather play Quake with a hurdy-gurdy, goddamn

Im fine with the Italians, just spare me all the talking about other Italians they used to know.

You want to know why black men die 5 to 7 years earlier on average then white men? It's not racism it's your shitty cooking

Imagine being sad because another man is doing things

They’ve melted into a new species, the whorca.

Half-breed on a weird weed

sorry brother im kinda retarded

Counterpoint: I once visited a gypsy soothsayer. She squeezed goats testicles and then my testicles magically transmogrified into goat testicles.

POV: You're the only french fry that escaped and survived

Asian kid soyfacing like he's staring into the fifth dimension: "I made my own furry comic with THIS app.”

Hell yeah, finally some honesty. No more, “It optimized my workflow.” this is venture capitalists shaking a tin cup going, "it made a giraffe fuck a fox faster."

Furries are too close to gays for my taste

what the actual FUCK was that, i'm never opening a spoiler ever again goddamn

 

[Dr. Butt]

"Joy" lol

 

[neger psykolog]

Where the fuck is Captain Retarl? Why are you guys arguing with the hoes? Should be a rule. If the Captain is not on the deck, women remain in their quarters. Also Styx your terms are acceptable. View attachment 8356099

 

[Dr. Butt]

let him who could have predicted he would bring up "soul-fingering" and "age-of-consent" in a conversation about policy cast the first stone.

 

[neger psykolog]

She did say she fucked the elderly, so it's gotta be at least one. Unless they died of old age after that; then it's zero again.

 

[Dr. Butt]

What a bunch of losers

 

[Sinner's Sandwich]

To be fair Roman roads and bridges were designed to support the march of massive armies not the weight of the average American.

 

[neger psykolog]

Are you truly a mental retard? Did I sleep with a retard? Damn. Caught slipping

 

[Crex Crex]

Edit: wait, I forgot that I'm not white, but Italian.

Last scene, Null gets raped to death. Hard, brutal, no cuts away. I want to feel it. Make it hurt.

You sound like a fucking monkey. Go rape your cousin or the family goat or something.

NOT EVERY POLITICAL DISCUSSION NEEDS TO INVOLVE NICK FUENTES, YOU GIGANTIC FAGGOTS. IN FACT, NONE OF THEM DO.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

a quart of malt liquor and a blowjob

 

[UERISIMILITUDO]

why is there a tutorial on how to access a board notorious for CSAM posted in this thread?

 

[Gentlebastard]

"Omae wa moh shinde iru, sutoka."

I think he reads old stories of judges who used to do "creative sentencing" like order a shoplifter to 100 hours of helping old ladies across the street while wearing a sandwich board, and whacks off thinking of the sheer power of a judge to be able to tell anyone to do anything.

Can we go back to the days of cat videos and atheism? Like, that shit was dumb, but at least it wasn’t, whatever this individual is

AI? There's absolutely no way. Just imagine what kind of highly detailed prompt one would have to come up with, all while forcing the now speechless AI to come up with unimaginable horrors beyond human (and machine) comprehension

I have genuinely never been more baffled and disgusted at once. This is what HP Lovecraft meant when he wrote "indescribable horrors"

I, thankfully, can not visualize this.

Edit: Unfortunately, I said that before seeing the MS Paint sketch.

Every child who points out a troon at a restaurant should eat for free.