Rocket Jockey's (Allegedly) Getting a Remake - Nostalgia Boner Intensifies.

[Exigent Circumcisions]

Behold, Rocket Jockey, a 1996 game released by Segasoft:

Did you ever want to pilot a rocket sled which steers using only your rider's body weight and a couple of bitching grappling hooks? How does hooking your opponents, tethering them together and then slamming the resultant bolo into a wall or a mine at high speed grab you? How about a surf-rock soundtrack and dorky 90s humour?
Rocket Jockey's got you, fam:

Spoiler: Boring Story Shit

What's that? You want to know how in-depth the lore is? How the character development progresses? Have you always been such a joyless fuck? ROCKET SLEDS LITTLE NIGGER.

The game still holds up today, not least because I've never seen anything else like it. (If you have share you cuck. You already share your wife, give me the information!)

Well, it's ostensibly getting a remake by Burnward Games;

So far so good (from the teaser trailer). They haven't updated the info on their site in 11 months however so I'm afraid it's vaporware at this point and I'm mainly trying to get you'se nerdses hopes up so you're just as blue-balled as I am.

Anybody else like to see this make it's way to market or have thoughts on the original?

 

[Shaved Kiwis]

This looks really fucking rad. Sega made the best games in the 90s. I'm actually really surprised that this isn't an arcade port.

Dunno why you want a remake. Video game remakes fucking suck because they remake games that were done right the first time and the only way to go from there is down. What they should be doing is remaking overambitious games that failed but had potential or better yet trying entirely new ideas.

The installer has a bug that keeps it from working on modern hardware, but there is a third party patch for that. And there are disc images of it floating around preserved for the ages.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

The installer has a bug that keeps it from working on modern hardware, but there is a third party patch for that. And there are disc images of it floating around preserved for the ages.

Oh I've had it installed multiple times over the years. You're right about remakes in general, but I'd say that Rocket Jockey failed in the sense that it's not a classic that people sigh about wistfully like other games of the era. I'd be just as happy if somebody brought the graphics up to date a bit and added more robust online options without fundamentally remaking or re-imagining what is, at it's core, a solid game. You show me another game where you can rip somebody's underwear right off of them while they sail head-long into another rocket only to be punted skyward like a whirling dervish when the physics engine finally gives up and I'll rejoice.

And yes, it is fucking rad. You should try it.

 

[UY 690]

Looks fun. Guess I'll play it then.

 

[Cubanodun]

So Star War racing and rocket league had a baby..

Count me in, going to play it only for the surfing rock

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

I thought there was a failed kickstarter for this already?

It was a fantastic game and I like that the game designer put this statement and his signature on the back of the box on top of a screenshot of one of the funnest things to do in the game.

edit: oops, just watched the videos, there was so much I had forgotten.

The game isn't just about leaning on a rocket to turn, they turn as well as you'd expect. It's actually a bit like Clu-Clu land, that old NES game where tethers/hooks could be shot out to grab poles and swing around them for really tight turns. They shoot from both sides of the rocket, one at a time or both at once, and hook into poles or other things. This lead to all kind of fun things as they could grab on to most anything iirc, including competitors rockets that would pull parts from them. Leaning meant that the hooks would shoot at an angle and with a bit of skill and a bit of luck you could hook another racer and pull him off his ride and drag him around until let go of. Then he had to run, Excitebike style, back to his own rocket, or if he was lucky, someone else's, all while dodging the other racers who, of course, would try to run over him for fun.
Two racers might hook each others rockets at the same time, or three, or four in a cluster of spinning rockets. Free form insanity in a racing format(among other modes).

It was an absurdly fun game, the type where you had to take a break and laugh when something unexpected happens. If done right it might appeal to the Rocket League crowd.

 

[Exigent Circumcisions]

Took me a while to find this again, but here's the link to the windows 7+ installer.
If anybody's interested, just grab an image of the game (use your imagination), mount said image, run the installer and follow the prompts.