💼 Careercow SHiFT / @shiftposting - Angriest speedrunner on earth. 20,000 hours spent playing one SpongeBob game. Frequently rages until his voice gets blown out.

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Holy shit I can't believe it, I thought he would be playing yellow man game well into his 40s. I give it a month or two before he comes out of retirement.

Anyone who's ever been addicted to something knows how this goes. I hope I'm wrong and if so good on him for finally quitting.
 
Last edited:
Spectate said:
SHiFT, after 10 years of speedrunning BFBB, has retired from WR grinding. This comes after StarSpeedruns, the current 2nd place runner, has closed the gap between himself and Shift to just 25s.
8mb.video-0As-MHauWmpn.mp4

Him further announcing his retirment:
8mb.video-WeU-4JRbVxpa.mp4

He's now making Movie great again, because he's fucking SHiFT_HD.
2026-06-14 21-45-20 - Trim.mp4

He's ALWAYS RIGHT!
2026-06-14 21-47-57 - Trim.mp4
Click to expand...
"How am I going to explain to my kids that I wasted 10 years of my life speedrunning Spongebob?"
 
Last time I read about this cow, it was over some Spongebob game crashout. Now, same deal. Why do people like this dramafag?
 
FACT: 97% of speedrunners quit right before they get their Any% World Record and their flat Asian wife comes in to cradle them like a crying toddler.
Absolute quitter mentality, I'm disgusted.
 
Rudy Coleman said:
on a total whim, SHiFT has decided to retire from speed running, He stops the counter MID RUN and officially announces his retirement.
He mainly sites the pain in his hands becoming unbearable saying he cannot curse boost without experiencing unbearable pain,
Click to expand...
Damn, imagine ruining your hands for a fucking Spongebob record.
 
Spectate said:
SHiFT, after 10 years of speedrunning BFBB, has retired from WR grinding. This comes after StarSpeedruns, the current 2nd place runner, has closed the gap between himself and Shift to just 25s.
8mb.video-0As-MHauWmpn.mp4

Him further announcing his retirment:
8mb.video-WeU-4JRbVxpa.mp4

He's now making Movie great again, because he's fucking SHiFT_HD.
2026-06-14 21-45-20 - Trim.mp4

He's ALWAYS RIGHT!
2026-06-14 21-47-57 - Trim.mp4
Click to expand...
"Last year was all that I had in me... This everything to me!"

This negro is making it sound like he went through a Olympic trial but he was speedrunning Spongeboy Barniclebob. :story:
 
Spectate said:
SHiFT, after 10 years of speedrunning BFBB, has retired from WR grinding. This comes after StarSpeedruns, the current 2nd place runner, has closed the gap between himself and Shift to just 25s.
8mb.video-0As-MHauWmpn.mp4

Him further announcing his retirment:
8mb.video-WeU-4JRbVxpa.mp4

He's now making Movie great again, because he's fucking SHiFT_HD.
2026-06-14 21-45-20 - Trim.mp4

He's ALWAYS RIGHT!
2026-06-14 21-47-57 - Trim.mp4
Click to expand...
I knew I just felt something dark and depressing a few minutes ago.
 
I just simply can't get over how this man wasted dedicated an entire decade of his life to a fucking SpongeBob game I used to play when I was in kindergarten. He's literally in tears over SpongeBob blowing bubbles to destroy robots. I'm actually lost for words.
 
I thought e-sports was gayest shit since they all considered themselves on the same level as 'athletes' but at least they win money and have some tournaments where their skills are acknowledged.

Speedrunning seemingly took this retardation to extreme with people spending four-five digits worth of hours into sweating for a world-record that can be dismantled as soon as someone finds a way that if you gorilla mash your inputs at different place than everyone did for dozens of thousands of hours it creates a new record - definition of competition of five minute of fame (the raped Australian albino comes to mind here).

It's funny if its done for a shitpost - a game nobody ever played, or a challenge like doing Desert Bus for charity... but doing this for the time you could have been working actual job or honing worthwhile skills its invalidated as soon as other sweat-drenched nerd beats you. Congrats on getting CTS, the ultimate reward I guess.
 
Kotol said:
Place your bets, how many days, weeks or months until the BfBB withdrawal symptoms start showing and like a relapsing addict he starts "casually" playing the game again just to feel anything at all, even if it is pain and frustration?
Click to expand...
week-11.gif
 
Parodius20XX said:
Damn, imagine ruining your hands for a fucking Spongebob record.
Click to expand...
If he held out for another decade, he probably could have got cyber hands like David Martinez and you would have ascended to a new echelon of speedrunning excellence.
Judas Connor Moon said:
"Last year was all that I had in me... This everything to me!"

This negro is making it sound like he went through a Olympic trial but he was speedrunning Spongeboy Barniclebob. :story:
Click to expand...
The life of shift is more akin to a Greek tragedy than it is any realistic human situation. In fact, it's even worse because it's all self-imposed part of his psyche could not break away from it.
It's actually more akin to an animal you desperately want to love you and did in the beginning but does nothing but attack you and bite you every time you show it affection and finally having the courage to put him out of its misery.
It would be like if sisyphus's Boulder actually contain the petrified remains of his wife and he somehow believed pushing it up hill would free her
 
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