Stupid things that got you in trouble at work

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

We've all done stuff to keep ourselves entertained at our jobs and sometimes you get in trouble for it.

A while ago at my last yearly appraisal I noticed that a new box had been added to the form which wasn't there previously. What was that box you ask? Gender! Now working in a place that prides itself on its diversity I always love messing with management. I had my suspicions as to why it was added and decided to role with it, having seen Jurassic World only a few weeks previously I decided to write in the box Tyrannosaurus Rex just to see if they'd notice.

A few weeks come and pass and the managers meet with each other to decide if we did as well as they say we did. It was during this meeting that our floor manager noticed my mischief and pointed it out to my supervisor and then tore him a new one for it for not taking notice of what I did. After the meeting concluded I was pulled by my supervisor who told me I had to submit an entirely new appraisal for myself before I left work for the day.

A couple hours later I sent it back rather disappointed after being told dinosaurs are not a gender and to be told later I was marked down from and exceeded to an achieved due to my "behaviours".

I have since discovered for reasons I can only assume are my fault that the gender box has since be removed from the self appraisal forms.

 

[The_Truth]

Never gotten in trouble for it, but I've been turning in the same exact same self eval every year since 2010 and every year I get the max 5%

All I change are the dates

 

[Maiden-TieJuan]

Turned the Chief Retail Banking Officer for sexual harassment. I worked in HR as a temp, and was in contact with him for my job. At a Christmas party, he AND HIS wife hit me up for some hot threesome action. I declined. He kept emailing me on THE COMPANY EMAIL SERVER about it asking my favorite position my favorite toys etc. So I forwarded all his emails directly to my supervisor and spoke with her. She said she would handle it.

I was fired 2 weeks later for "not promoting a proper work enviroment". Luckily, the bank was closed a year later, with prejudice. Gotta love karma.

 

[Meat_Puppet]

I laughed at Becky once when she got her foot stuck in a toilet. Don't know why I found it funny but my boss came in and saw me do it.
Not like I want to be here anymore anyways.

 

[Nat Soc Justice Warrior]

I was once tasked with testing part of a piece of database software that included the Gender table. After checking you could select Male, Female or one of the several trans statuses I decided to test adding a new gender.

After adding a new option, I was slightly suprosed to find out that the Gender table had delete access removed for all testing staff. This meant the gender option ASSAULT HELICOPTER still remains in the client's test database to this day.

I feel pretty lucky that there was no auditing turned on in the system that would let them know who added that entry if someone were to spot it and get mad. Now if I hadn't told this story to several co-workers after the fact, then I might have gotten away with it.

 

[Fareal]

I have always claimed to be transgender on anonymised staff diversity surveys to see what happened.

Every workplace I have been in has promptly had a urgent whispered tranny witch hunt. The suspected tranny has never been me.

 

[BatChatillon]

To a female supervisor that ranted about my generation:
"You are 57 years old, you have no husband, no family, no children. Why do you wait for retirement, just drink yourself to death!"

 

[Bluebird]

I wore this shirt in to work once. I didn't actually get in trouble, but was getting the stink eye all day.

 

[JustStopDude]

I once got in serious trouble at industrial site I was working in the Middle East.

I had repeatedly told site manager not to park near quay cranes because 1) I have blind spots 2) crane must be tested with many safety systems disabled or not available 3)I hated him.

I had two 40 ft container loads for testing. I put them onto his rental car. I flattened it very good. He was in the cab with me. We could not see his car, but I knew already where it was. The spreader cameras were disabled for testing (running simulation of manual control without positive control of spreader).

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I got temporarily suspended from my tutoring job for reporting a stalking incident at my college. Pointing out that the dude who looks somewhere between the guy from Eraserhead and Elliot Rodger could be a literal danger to our students is classed as "bullying", because the guy was an autistic student with a disability. I love my school, but sometimes the staff are really stupid when it comes to kicking out crazy people.