"Mr. Jensen Ackles, you make me uncomfortable. I’m even, at least a little bit, scared of you. You make me uncomfortable because I make you uncomfortable. You make me uncomfortable because who I am, what I am- you don’t like it. And that worries me."
Yep, this girl is genuinely afraid of Jensen Ackles because he doesn't want to gush about his character's sexuality. The idea that he might just
not care or has better things to discuss with the fans doesn't even cross her mind. Nope, he totally hates her personally.
"You dehumanize me because I am a woman. You have said mysognistic things. You dehumanize me because I am a teenage girl, and people mock teenage girls. My voice does not matter because I am young, and I am female, and I am not your show’s target demographic. You dehumanize me because I am queer, and that is what this letter is about in particular. (The other parts will take part, though, because my queerness is not entirely unrelated to my femaleness, as I am a person, fully formed, and my parts cannot, will not, be dissected.)"
Holy shit.
First of all, way to typecast Jensen Ackles as a woman-hating homophobe who
especially hates teenage girls and dehumanizes everyone who isn't white/straight/cis. That's not libel or anything. Also, top fucking lol that she goes out of her way to be all "DON'T REDUCE ME TO MY QUEERNESS/FEMALENESS!! I AM A WHOLE PERSON!!!" when she spends literally the entire fucking letter talking about how queer and female she is.
"And that means I’m scared of you, no matter how nice you are. That means I have to be scared of you. Warning signs are how I, and others like me, stay alive, Mr. Ackles."
If she doesn't bitch about Mr. Ackles and constantly antagonize people for not being perfect
she will literally get murdered, you guys.
"It means I will avoid you at cons; it means I will not go to supernatural panels that you are a part of. Because even though you wouldn’t ever physically attack me, you scare me. You scare me because you will dehumanize me. You will put me in situations where you will say things, things that are horrible, and I will be in a room full of people who will agree with you because you’re famous, because they admire you, maybe because they just don’t like queer teenage girls and you’re confirming what they already believe. It doesn’t matter why: they will agree with you" you know what, fuck it, this quote is way too long already and she just bitches some more.
Again, she's portraying Jensen as a horrible fucking monster who will sic an entire room of people against her for daring to be a queer teenage girl. She seriously seems to think that he's just going to start throwing slurs around like they're party favors even though we have no evidence that he's even remotely homophobic.
"If I cannot keep from crying while watching old videos alone in my room, watching a queer teenage girl (like me, another like me, because there are so very many of us, Mr. Ackles) standing in a room surrounded by thousands of people, valiantly trying to tell her hero that “being gay is not unmanly”, trying to help this person she admires learn that what he said is not okay, the way he is thinking is not okay, anger in her voice matching the anger I feel as well, (because being gay is not unmanly, and because being unmanly is not bad), and watching the room turn hostile, watch the actor refuse to listen- how will I keep from crying when it happens in front of me? When it happens to me?"
I love this part because she basically admits that she only cares about herself. She doesn't care about the teenager girl who was in that uncomfortable situation, all she can think about is ME ME ME ME ME!
"I would cry, Mr. Ackles. I would need to leave the room, so that I could sit outside and curl up in a friend’s arms as she promised me that I was safe, that she wouldn’t let them hurt me, that you hadn’tmeant it, that you didn’t know what would likely happen to that teenage girl, the threats she would receive and hatred and anger she would face- anything so that I would feel less betrayed, less fearful, less alienated. Anything to make me feel like I still counted as a person."
This really isn't as big of a deal as you're making it.
"I know others who have done far more than cry because of this. People who have no friend to turn to in those moments of betrayal, of fear, people who hate themselves already and you- you have put the knife in their hand."
Are you hearing this?
"You have put the knife in their hand." Can you even get more emotionally manipulative and passive-aggressive than this? I don't think it's possible. She's basically saying "If people are so thin-skinned that they can't handle you not talking about your character's sexuality, whatever they do to themselves is
your fault."
"I have done worse. Queer teenage girls are often betrayed by their heroes, I am afraid. You are not the first person I have looked up to that has given me a knife. You will not be the last. I refuse to take the knife from you, Mr. Ackles, or any other hero who follows. I do not care what you intended. I will not hold you hand so that you understand that the knife is there. I will be blunt, because you do not deserve kindness in this respect.
You are holding a knife, Mr. Ackles."
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOD
Guys, you don't understand how brave she is! This totally isn't Grade A manipulative, emotional abuse or anything! All she's saying is that by not wanting to kiss his male costar he's literally murdering queer people, that's all!
"You are breaking my queer little heart, Mr. Ackles. I will cry."
"Pretend that you are a queer teenage girl. (I know this is difficult for you. I know you find this ridiculous. Do it anyways, please.)"
No.
Also, there are literally paragraphs devoted to how it breaks her queer little heart that Supernatural doesn't revolve around her identity so I'm not even gonna bother touching that.
"Mr. Ackles, you misunderstand us. There are asexual fans who want Dean to be canonically bisexual. There are lesbians who want Dean to be canonically bisexual. I am queer, Mr. Ackles. I am not interested in sex with you, or your colleagues, and I am not interested in you and your colleagues having sex It’s silly I have to state this so specifically, and I am not often comfortable talking about my sexuality at great length, but let me be clear: I may be interested in all genders, but I prefer women. I greatly prefer women. I have no interest in any men currently, and have had no interest for three years."
THIS ENTIRE FUCKING LETTER IS ABOUT HOW YOU WANT HIM TO BE BISEXUAL, OF COURSE YOU'RE INTERESTED, YOU TWAT.
"I want Dean to be queer, and yes, I wish Dean and Castiel would end up together (though I know many people who want dean to be bisexual who do not) because I want to have the slow-burn, well-developed love story I have always been denied."
Seriously, "I have always been denied." She is so fucking
entitled.
"When you look at us, you think we are basing this around lust. Mr Ackles, I do not give a fuck if Dean Winchester and Castiel have sex. I do not care if they kiss.I do not care.I want them to love each other, and I want them to admit it, on screen, so that I never have to hear another fratboy fan tell me that it is all in my head that these characters love each other, because that would be gross and wrong and perverted. So that I will have a love story with characters I identify with. So that I can have a queer romance that isn’t a tragedy. I know you do not control this. But it is your choice to react to the idea of Dean being bisexual with something along the lines of revulsion."
Because Jensen is required to discuss shipping or else he's a horrible person. This chick never even
considers that fact that Jensen has probably been asked questions about Dean and Castiel more times than he can count and is sick of it by now. No, it's because he finds queer people repulsive. AGAIN, NOT LIBEL.
"And you cannot pretend that the show does not know we want Dean to be bisexual. There have been eight years of queerbaiting, growing more and more intense over the seasons. Your show profits off us by hinting that this character could be like us. Do not act surprised when we want that hinting to become a fact."
Ah, and now we come to the cornerstone of what makes up entitled Tumblrina shipping:
Queerbaiting. For those who don't know, "queerbaiting" is an accusation that creators purposely inject homoerotic subtext into a work without the intention of actually making that queerness "canon." In other words, they're "teasing" LGBT people by hinting at a queer relationship but never actually fulfilling it.
The biggest problem with this concept is how incredibly subjective the undertones are. Shippers (not just gay shippers, but with
every kind of shipping) have a bad habit of interpreting
literally fucking everything that happens between characters as a sign of romantic interest. For example, Alice smiling at Bob and Bob smiling back will be held up as "proof" that Alice and Bob are in love but won't admit it yet. Or Alice telling Cecilia how much she treasures their friendship and Cecilia being moved by her speech is held up as solid evidence that Alice and Cecilia belong together. Now, that's not to say that these things can't be interpreted romantically, but they can damn well be interpreted as signs
platonic affection (to most diehard shippers, platonic love doesn't seem to exist).
So you can basically twist
anything into "queerbaiting" if you're so inclined. That's why it's a useless term. And again, it gives off a really bad air of entitlement; that last sentence sure as hell does.
Nobody owes you anything.
"You are uncomfortable with us discussing Dean Winchester’s sexuality. You don’t seem to understand why we bring it up so much."
Again, Jensen can't even be uncomfortable with discussing this stupid shit. He's not allowed to have boundaries. He
has to discuss this stupid fandom bullshit at length because otherwise he's literally stabbing queer teenage girls in their queer little hearts.
You know, fuck it, I'm done. There's only a paragraph or so left but it contains so much entitlement that, combined with the staggering amount of entitlement already present, is infecting me and making me want to shriek at my dad to buy me a brand-new sports car even though we can't afford it and I've done nothing to deserve it.
