The best insults and comebacks you've ever heard

[Meat Target]

"You're not the dumbest person in the world, but you better hope nothing happens to him."

 

[Latex Catmaid]

"ok furry" and "ok boomer"

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

 

[We Are The Witches]

Long comebacks often feel forced, you probably just want a short one, or to ignore them and go about your way.

So in essence, the biggest comeback is actually not caring about their opinion.

 

[Dr. Eldon Tyrell]

'member when TV was like that? I do...
But seriously, he just keeps 'em coming. Savage, indeed.
... the firefighter, holy shit. Didn't see that coming. He knows the exact amount of cocky he can get away with it. His looks help and he knows it
But they're all charismatic and slick as fuck. Good TV, even if scripted.
Tax:

 

[Nigger Cobson]

The best insults and comebacks are the ones made on the spot by you that are relevant to the situation at hand. Grabbing and hoarding insults from other sources like you're getting groceries so that you can use them at the right moment is an autist's way at conducting banter (i.e not a very good one).

 

[CAPTAIN HAPPY]

Mandatory reminder that Hill threw hands first and got deep fried Holocaust roasted in return.

 

[Hamsteroid]

 

[The Repeated Meme]

My go-to when people ask how I'm doing or how's it going I reply with "I was doing great until you showed up". When asked where (person) is or what happened to (item) "They were abducted by aliens & "They/it sprouted wings and flew away & They were kidnapped by the CIA".

 

[Pelican Bones]

(To Sargon) You're not as smart as you think you are.

 

[Nero Fiddled]

"I'm sorry, I really don't want to get involved in a battle of wits with an unarmed man"

 

[Medic]

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Yo momma sucks so much nigger dick her breath smells like a mix of grape drank and semen.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Yo momma's cunt has had so much pipe laid in it, it's legally classified as a sewer system.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Yo momma's pussy has taken so many creampies that when your daddy ate her out, he died of zinc poisoning.

 

[Meat Target]

GK Chesterton (left): "Looking at you, one would think a famine had hit England."

George Bernard Shaw (right): "Looking at you, one would think that you caused it."

The best insults and comebacks are the ones made on the spot by you that are relevant to the situation at hand. Grabbing and hoarding insults from other sources like you're getting groceries so that you can use them at the right moment is an autist's way at conducting banter (i.e not a very good one).

I know, but this is just for laughs.

 

[Milkshake Sniffer]

It's difficult to better the classics:

Bessie Braddock MP: “Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk.”

Winston Churchill: “Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow
I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly.”

 

[Pissmaster]

The best insults and comebacks are the ones made on the spot by you that are relevant to the situation at hand. Grabbing and hoarding insults from other sources like you're getting groceries so that you can use them at the right moment is an autist's way at conducting banter (i.e not a very good one).

That's true. Trying to memorize comebacks in this thread and employ them later will just turn everyone here into George Costanza in this episode:

 

[Xarpho's Return]

I think the one that caused Mia Khalifa to run away and cry ("See, I told you it wasn't her, she doesn't have [cum] on her face") was an absolute vicious burn.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]