- Joined
- Mar 7, 2016
I've been really thinking hard about my childhood, and have been searching for some relics from that part of my life, because I swear they are real, but everyone thinks I am crazy. I was born in a small southern-style town up north near the Canadian border. It was very much a hill-countryesque sort of town that you would find down south, but with all the cold-ass freeze shit you'd find in the Canadas. I went to a very small worn-down private school. Needless to say, my upbringing was weird. Very weird. It was there I was exposed to several children's books that I vividly remember, but cannot for the life of me find any trace of online. I would appreciate any help finding them possible.
The first book is called Hands in my Pants. I do not remember who wrote it. It was a small, thin paper-back book, only a few pages long. It was in the shape of a square, and it was much smaller than most of the other books on the shelf. The cover was white with a picture of a purple boy with purple clothes. The head was not shown, just everything down to their shoes. Their hand were snugly settled into the front of their pants. I don't remember much else about the book other than that it went on for several pages about how nice it felt to have their hand in their pants. It wasn't anything malicious, just bizarre. I found a similar book on Amazon of the same nature, but this one is much, much newer
The next book I don't remember the title of, but I remember a bit of the story. It might be part of an anthology. Kindof reminds me of Jumanji, but it's not that. It's about this guy who lives with a ton of cats. They live kindof in the middle of nowhere. One day they are scared shitless when they find a board game in their closet, and they don't know how it got there. Noone in the house opens it, because they think it is cursed, but then some jackass opens it when they came to visit. Then, for a week they would hear someone knock on their door, and their would be a ghost of a native American outside. They'd never open the door, out of fear. Finally, the child in the house would be woken up in the middle of the night by a large fart noise, and a man in a golden jumpsuit covered in sequins would tell the kid that it was time to sack his parents, and this would repeat for several days. I have no idea what this book is called, but I would really like to know what it was called.
Lastly, there is The Moon is Made of People. This one I remember the most. I don't know if this was a kid's book per say, but I read it anyway. It was presented as a non-fiction book, and it presented many fascinating theories about the moon and where it came from. The main one was, as the title suggest, that the moon is made of people. It stated that when a person is buried after death, that plants will suck up their nutrients and project them to the moon, giving the moon the nutrients needed to create "moon dust", the primary element that maintains the moon's structure. The cover had sort of a diagram cutout of the moon where you could see the core, but instead it looked like an apple with seeds. It was very serious, and it scared the living shit out of me as a kid.
I really need to find these books. If anyone remembers or can point me to these books, I would really appreciate.
The first book is called Hands in my Pants. I do not remember who wrote it. It was a small, thin paper-back book, only a few pages long. It was in the shape of a square, and it was much smaller than most of the other books on the shelf. The cover was white with a picture of a purple boy with purple clothes. The head was not shown, just everything down to their shoes. Their hand were snugly settled into the front of their pants. I don't remember much else about the book other than that it went on for several pages about how nice it felt to have their hand in their pants. It wasn't anything malicious, just bizarre. I found a similar book on Amazon of the same nature, but this one is much, much newer
The next book I don't remember the title of, but I remember a bit of the story. It might be part of an anthology. Kindof reminds me of Jumanji, but it's not that. It's about this guy who lives with a ton of cats. They live kindof in the middle of nowhere. One day they are scared shitless when they find a board game in their closet, and they don't know how it got there. Noone in the house opens it, because they think it is cursed, but then some jackass opens it when they came to visit. Then, for a week they would hear someone knock on their door, and their would be a ghost of a native American outside. They'd never open the door, out of fear. Finally, the child in the house would be woken up in the middle of the night by a large fart noise, and a man in a golden jumpsuit covered in sequins would tell the kid that it was time to sack his parents, and this would repeat for several days. I have no idea what this book is called, but I would really like to know what it was called.
Lastly, there is The Moon is Made of People. This one I remember the most. I don't know if this was a kid's book per say, but I read it anyway. It was presented as a non-fiction book, and it presented many fascinating theories about the moon and where it came from. The main one was, as the title suggest, that the moon is made of people. It stated that when a person is buried after death, that plants will suck up their nutrients and project them to the moon, giving the moon the nutrients needed to create "moon dust", the primary element that maintains the moon's structure. The cover had sort of a diagram cutout of the moon where you could see the core, but instead it looked like an apple with seeds. It was very serious, and it scared the living shit out of me as a kid.
I really need to find these books. If anyone remembers or can point me to these books, I would really appreciate.
