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The Unwritten Rules White Guests NEED to Know Before Attending Their First Black Family Reunion​

Summertime is meant for cookouts, outdoor festivals and concerts, and the Black family reunion. After the Great Migration, when many African Americans moved from the South to the North and Midwest, family reunions became crucial for maintaining connections and serving as informal support networks. But let’s just be honest: a white person will be invited to the family reunion at some point.

Black mothers, grandmothers, and aunties everywhere may be annoyed by this, but it is just a fact of life that they must come to terms with. It does not matter if you bring a white woman or man, they are bound to have a bit of culture shock when they attend their first Black family reunion. Although the family reunion are special gatherings, they unfortunately can also be a place where shenanigans break out. I once saw an uncle threatened with physical violence because he was caught cheating at a game of Spades in the mid ’90s. And my aunt was heartbroken when she brought her (non-baked in the oven) macaroni and cheese to the reunion. It was of no surprise when it went untouched.

But the first time there was a full-blown meltdown was when my cousin (who shall remain nameless) brought his white girlfriend to the reunion. She mispronounced “Madea” when addressing my grandmother and brought some under-seasoned ribs– and it only went downhill from there.

There are a few things you need to do to navigate your first Black family reunion as a white person. So let me help y’all out.

1. Watch What You Do​

Introduce yourself. Be polite. Engage in small talk. But understand that you are being watched… carefully.

There is much talk about older white folks and the racial animus they hold. But the same can be true of some seasoned Black folks. They survived the Civil Rights Movement and a few might have had to integrate a school. One can understand why they may be suspicious of white people. Just know that someone is watching you closely, so act accordingly.

2. Do NOT Bring Any Food​

Despite any stereotypes of putting raisins in potato salad and fascinations with casseroles, instead of bringing food, offer to bring wine, paper plates, heck even aluminum foil. Don’t show up empty-handed, but bring something that won’t get you judged.

3. Learn How to Play Spades or Dominoes​

Dominoes, Spades, Tunk… these are seriousgames in the Black community. If you show up knowing how to play either game well, you will get mad cool points from the people in attendance. For starters, I recommend Dominos because it’s an easier game to play. Plus, if you walk too many jacks around the table in Spades, you might undermine any cool points you’ve earned.

4. Learn a Line Dance​

Black folks love them a line dance. “Boots on the Ground,” “Electric Slide,” “Cupid Shuffle,” “Wobble” or the “Cha Cha Slide,” at least one of them will be played at some point during the function. In fact, they all might be. If you show up already knowing how to line dance, you will certainly impress your Black hosts.

5. Listen​

At some point a Black elder will talk about their experiences. It is a hallmark of the Black family reunion. When that moment comes, listen. Learn about the experiences of Black folks in America and gain an appreciation for the beautiful diversity of the family whose reunion you are attending.

There is no need to be intimidated by attending one of these functions, despite the cheesy T-shirts that end up becoming sleepwear.

Remember, these are sacred gatherings. So, when you attend one, you should do so with a spirit of humility and openness. But don’t drink the Kool-Aid. It has WAY too much sugar in it.
 
Introduce yourself. Be polite. Engage in small talk. But understand that you are being watched… carefully.
Don’t show up empty-handed, but bring something that won’t get you judged.

Way to make black people sound utterly awful and too tiresome to be worth dealing with. Does this idiot not realize how unintentionally racist he sounds?

Edit: It gets even better. This is the brief bio on the author's page:

Lawrence Ware is a professor of philosophy at Oklahoma State University and co-director of the Center for Africana Studies.

This idiot is teaching this stupid shit to kids. I wouldn't be at all surprised if anyone who takes his class leaves having a lower opinion of blacks than before they started.
 
a white person will be invited
Black mothers, grandmothers, and aunties everywhere may be annoyed by this
understand that you are being watched… carefully
One can understand why they may be suspicious of white people
Just know that someone is watching you closely
I like how one second neurotic blacktivists are inventing endless nano-aggressions, and the next they're guffawing about their own macro-aggressive behaviours.

They cry out in [muh'pression] as they [violent crime] you.
 
When the Black Elders are done lecturing me about the Civil Rights Movement and Integrating Schools and how I'm a racist and can't help it simply because I'm white, do I get to tell them just how much fun I had in Elementary School when I was bused to black schools because some Federal Judge said that was the only way it would be fair?
 
If you reversed the races on this, holy shit.

"If you're a black person coming to a White family reunion, first of all you should know that everyone's going to be unhappy that you're there. Don't bother bringing food because people are going to think it's gross and weird. When the old White grandma is talking about her experiences with blacks, shut up and listen to her ramble about how Corn Pop seduced her sister and stole her dad's car and that's why you can't trust the blacks. But don't be intimidated by any of this; just because the people there won't like you doesn't mean you can't go and enjoy yourself. And get a pitcher of that iced tea over here, we're thirsty."
 
But let’s just be honest: a black person will be invited to the family reunion at some point.

White mothers, grandmothers, and aunts everywhere may be annoyed by this, but it is just a fact of life that they must come to terms with. It does not matter if you bring a black woman or man, they are bound to have a bit of culture shock when they attend their first White family reunion.
...
But the first time there was a full-blown meltdown was when my cousin (who shall remain nameless) brought his black girlfriend to the reunion. She mispronounced “ask” when addressing my grandmother and brought some pigs feet– and it only went downhill from there.
 
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