The worst part of tech culture has to be the tech "conferences" - It's like 1000 dudes jacking themselves off, but they're all fully dressed

[Gender: Xenomorph]

I don't get why they exist. 100 dudes jack themselves off over their non-complishments while the really important ones do it on the stage.

Yea cool, you work at Google bro. So what? Tell me how fulfilling it feels to know your work is one PR away from being deleted and you get your work from 3 people above you and if you want to suggest something actually good, you get told to fuck off. What are your contributions besides adding comments on a library google uses?

 

[Sultan Bin Jewstar]

100 dudes jack themselves off over their non-complishments while the really important ones do it on the stage.

That's the size of it.
Conferences are 20% show and tell and 80% networking/autofellatio.
This isn't a tech-centric thing. Literally all conventions are "look what I can do" + "smell that? Yeah... Chipotle... Just as good to smell going in as it is coming out"

 

[TATE MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODE!!]

If it's hosted somewhere nice, could you just go on the trip and skip the confrence? Would anyone notice?

 

[Judge Dredd]

I still remember when two guys got cancelled for making a dongle joke at a conference (they weren't giving a speech or anything at the time) and some journalist overheard.

It's a bit of a shame as game development conferences (including GDC itself) used to have interesting stuff in them, things to learn or be inspired by. Now it's just hipster saying insane or inane nonsense. They are so gatekept by politics, I wonder if they're even useful as a networking opportunity any more.

 

[Pee Cola]

It's not just the techbros jerking each other off; it's the troons rubbing their stinkditches too.

Then there are the consent accidents. You know what they say about what happens on tour staying on tour...

 

[Biggie Smalls' Taint]

There are many "worst parts" to working in tech.

1. Dodging hobo turds on your walk to work (San Francisco)

2. Trying not to get stabbed on your way to work (San Francisco again)

3. The smell of working with hundreds of pajeets (universal)

4. Trannies

 

[sadrefrigerator]

People go to conferences because their company pays for it and its basically a free all inclusive vacation.

If it's hosted somewhere nice, could you just go on the trip and skip the confrence? Would anyone notice?

Usually your company forces you to present about something from the conference.

 

[Named User]

I've been to DockerCon and Google I/O.

The food sucks, the talks suck, the free stuff sucks, the people suck, and the tech sucks.

During one of my internships, we flew to San Francisco for DockerCon (pre-Covid), and the actual full-time employees that I went with didn't even step foot into the conference building and used it as a company-paid vacation.

 

[seri0us]

and the actual full-time employees that I went with didn't even step foot into the conference building and used it as a company-paid vacation.

That sounds awesome. Did anybody else find out?

 

[Sultan Bin Jewstar]

I still remember when two guys got cancelled for making a dongle joke at a conference (they weren't giving a speech or anything at the time) and some journalist overheard.

Wasn't this some gamergate-esque, non-contributing dumb cunt? Some PR bitch or something.
At least one of the dudes got completely wrecked. She got her comeuppance, though

 

[Wholesome Big Chungus]

Only been to one conference on hardware, I thought it was a pretty worthwhile experience. The majority of talks were interesting and it seemed like most of the people were legit and actually interested in the projects they were working on.

Got a lot of opportunities to talk to really cool professors and other industry folks during the breaks / meals. Maybe things are different for software focused conferences though, seems like there are more grifters in that sector.

 

[Gender: Xenomorph]

During one of my internships, we flew to San Francisco for DockerCon (pre-Covid), and the actual full-time employees that I went with didn't even step foot into the conference building and used it as a company-paid vacation.

All the sexy PR ladies do that. They visit the city during the day and come to the afterparty for the free booze.

 

[Manul Otocolobus]

The autism factor at a conference is directly related to how technical it is. The more technical it is, the greater the autist rate.

 

[Named User]

That sounds awesome. Did anybody else find out?

No one found out because there was no manager or other coworkers who went. But yeah, the trip was kinda fun. Nice hotel, reimbursed food and drinks, hookah. Golden State won the playoffs, so the ticket-day parade was also happening.

But now, SF is basically a biohazard.

All the sexy PR ladies do that. They visit the city during the day and come to the afterparty for the free booze.

Good for them. They get to avoid the rancid sausage fest.

 

[TheDataHorder]

never been to one but I'd imagine they'd go like this:
Gentleman, i present to you, the N1gg.er
The N1gg.er is a highly advanced A.I with an intelligence on par with a monkey and costs less then minimum wage to run!
With N1gg.er in your organization's profits go up at least 20% and costs down by a staggering 80%!
Live demos are available at our booth along with salesmen and technicians ready to help you integrate it into your organization!
With N1gg.er, you'll stand out!
Get N1gg.er today!

 

[Yougotfarmed]

Been to a few in my industry and they are all massive grifts. Shit food and of course they put lunch in the vendor hall.

 

[AmpleApricots]

Imagine being in the same room as computer touchers

 

[Sultan Bin Jewstar]

Imagine being in the same room as computer touchers

It's hardly "being in the same room as"
They all wear VR headsets and do their favorite fortnite and/or loli dance

...the smell, though

 

[The Hardest R]

This is conferences in general. I used to go to some big oil and gas conferences in Houston that were the same thing. At the end of the day, the reception area was loaded with prostitutes dressed to the nines. They dressed classy but the fake tits, fake asses, hair extensions and anus lips gave it away. Seems like a good way to get away from the wife and bang a few hookers. Wouldn’t surprise me if many conferences were that way, I just didn’t see it so blatantly like I did for oil and gas. Of course the Arabs and pajeets were all over them.

 

[Sultan Bin Jewstar]

They dressed classy but the fake tits, fake asses, hair extensions and anus lips gave it away. Seems like a good way to get away from the wife and bang a few hookers.

Just another day in Enronville