Tomorrow morning you wake up a Minion. What do?

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

You have also been granted immortality.

 

[Just A Butt]

i know it is going to happen tomorrow or i am surprised?
if i know then i spend the rest of the day lowering chairs and countertops i guess to prepare for being really short and useless

 

[Onni Kalsarikännit]

Fuck immortality. I still try Seppuku.

 

[mister meaner]

minom

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

 

[Jason Wynn]

I walk around saying shit like “until I’ve had my coffee don’t talk to me!” or “I always listen to what the voices in my head tell me!”

Boomers and the mentally challenged will slap their fins together and howl with laughter as they share my witticisms across Facebook

 

[Flatline]

Find every 18+, Minion-obsessed TikTok thot and bury my Gru-branded iron penis into her.

 

[From The Uncanny Valley]

KHMER ROUGE 2022

 

[Anon88]

I would go full Minion supremacist and post unhinged posts on the internet about how non-minions need to be kicked out of the country.

 

[BONE_Buddy]

You have also been granted cursed with immortality.

Fixed it for you OP.

 

[seri0us]

Continue as normal.

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

I would kill myself.

 

[frozenrunner]

Realize I'm roughly dildo-shaped and go find a crazy hot Minion mom

 

[Heckler1]

Kill every single other minion in a righteous fervor of ethnic cleansing.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Minions are thick as pigshit and do whatever the biggest bastard around them says. So I'd probably run around screaming "bananaaaa" and helping the CIA with whatever they pleased.

 

[Mimic]

I'd probably blow a raspberry then laugh about it after.
Phbbt... Hahaha...

... Oh God it's starting.

 

[The Lawgiver]

I fucking go to work for the moon theiving penguin nosed fucker like the rest of you yellow bastards, stupid.

 

[TroonsDid911]

Go around giggling and calling people niggers in my stupid voice. Id also spell out racial slurs and write 41% jokes all over tranny graves.

 

[get_ur_gamon]

Go to work in Uyghur camps (I gotta serve a quirky villan)

 

[Elbow Greased Strength]

Same thing I do every night, shit myself and do nothing.