What am I supposed to do with my brothers stuff after he died,

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Apr 16, 2025
* I had to edit this thanks to @Warren Wilhelm
I’m tired and still not in the proper state of mind.
My brother went into a coma after dealing with a botched surgery from pancreatitis 4 month’s ago after they deemed him good to go to go. He died in 2 months ago. My sister in law is unfortunately going through the fact that she can’t afford to keep the house and is selling it. But not all the property.
For some reason, I’m the go to on this. I’m the youngest of 9 siblings and my brothers fraternal twin. I’m old for a child.(I, nor none of my siblings have lived with my parents for over 21 years)
I don’t know what the hell I’m supposed to do in this situation. All I have left to ask about this situation is my father, who is in is late stage of life and not exactly in the best state from loosing his wife(my mom) 2 months before she died due to copd after surviving lung cancer.
4 brothers(one dead), 4 sisters, 4 sister in law’s, three brothers in law’s, my pop who ain’t doing too well and me.
Somehow I’m the go to on this.
Outside of my brothers will(which thankfully dictated almost every aspect of sentimental shit and monetary shit) he wanted “my father or my twin brother, whom so ever is able in mind, body and spirit” to be the executor.
I also have a shit ton of nephews and nieces to wonder about.
I don’t have the money to go to a lawyer about how to do this fairly or more importantly lawfully.
I’m at my wit’s end.
Literally any serious suggestions would be welcome.
* it’s a shit edit but I’m out of it so I hope this works
* I edited it twice and it’s still not shipshape
 
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You seem tired. First thing you should do is heavily redact or revise your post for the sake of your privacy. Next, recruit family/friends to help sort and pack your departed loved one's possessions for easy transfer. Try to split them into four categories: keep; charity; garbage dump; sell.

Give family a deadline to take from the keep pile - set an actual day. Then anything they or you don't keep for sentimental or practical reasons goes into the charity or dump or sell piles.

Don't try to overdo it on the sell pile; it'll be a headache. In this case I'm thinking higher value items like a stand mixer or a TV or some shit. Take a picture, set a price and throw that shit on Facebook marketplace. Better yet, put someone else in charge of the sales.

Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc. are your go-tos for charitable giving of old possessions. Undamaged clothes and shoes are always in high demand. If they're damaged and have no sentimental value, then into the dump pile they go.

Dump is self explanatory. Throw that shit into contractor bags, taking note of any sorting rules for your local dump.

Again, try to assign family/friends parts of this work. You seem to have your hands full just trying to think through this.

Sorry for your loss. Redact your post.
 
You seem tired. First thing you should do is heavily redact or revise your post for the sake of your privacy. Next, recruit family/friends to help sort and pack your departed loved one's possessions for easy transfer. Try to split them into four categories: keep; charity; garbage dump; sell.

Give family a deadline to take from the keep pile - set an actual day. Then anything they or you don't keep for sentimental or practical reasons goes into the charity or dump or sell piles.

Don't try to overdo it on the sell pile; it'll be a headache. In this case I'm thinking higher value items like a stand mixer or a TV or some shit. Take a picture, set a price and throw that shit on Facebook marketplace. Better yet, put someone else in charge of the sales.

Goodwill, Salvation Army, etc. are your go-tos for charitable giving of old possessions. Undamaged clothes and shoes are always in high demand. If they're damaged and have no sentimental value, then into the dump pile they go.

Dump is self explanatory. Throw that shit into contractor bags, taking note of any sorting rules for your local dump.

Again, try to assign family/friends parts of this work. You seem to have your hands full just trying to think through this.

Sorry for your loss. Redact your post.
Thanks. Very good advice. I am really tired. I guess I’ll just edit the whole thing later. I’m just really confused and worried about the whole situation. You would think at my age I would be able to do this incredibly simple thing most people do when someone passes.
 
Assuming friends and family have already picked clean all the items of sentimental value, sell/donate what you can and trash the rest. But it sounds like you're being used to clean the house for someone else's benefit, so there is always the option of being petty and doing nothing.
 
Warren offered good advice so I won't try to be serious.

Some cultures would require you if unmarried to marry and care for your brother's widow. Save the house, bang her in every room and pour one out for the fallen.
 
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My condolences.

I also have a shit ton of nephews and nieces to wonder about.
I don’t have the money to go to a lawyer about how to do this fairly or more importantly lawfully.
I’m at my wit’s end.
Literally any serious suggestions would be welcome.
Whatever isn't explicitly covered by the will, I suppose you could give it to whoever needs it most, or whatever matches interested parties best (like a guitar could go to whoever is musically inclined). Randomization is an option.
 
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