What do you do when getting spam/scam calls?

[A Cat in a Minefield]

I like to insult them especially if they are Indian. They usually hang up pretty quickly though

 

[We Are The Witches]

The most I get (for calls) is offerings for new ISPs, in which case I just tell them that I'm not interested.

Them: Right, but would you be willing to change to X?
Me: No thanks, not interested.
Them: ...
Them: (hangs up).

It's another thing if I get text messages, in which case I may be inclined to roleplay.

 

[Meat Target]

My friend bangs on pots and pans while they're talking, or tells the Jeets they smell like poo or something like that.

MeatMom said her uncle would waste telemarketers' time by rambling and telling them about his day.

 

[dick brain]

I put on my most luminous voice and inform them that this is a federal law enforcement office and to never call this number again.

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

jack off violently

 

[A Cat in a Minefield]

I get a shit ton of fake police calls that tell me I have been the victim of identity theft. It's always a robocall and I have to press one to get connected to a human. Fucking annoying. I usually never click, but just the fact that I picked up annoys me.

That's why I started taking the calls and calling them stinky, dirty, Indians that shit in the streets.

With people who try to sell me stuff I respond in a different language. Fascinatingly enough the next time they call it's always in the language I spoke to them last.

My friend bangs on pots

That's a great one. I'll do that the next time I'm at home and receive it.

 

[Spud]

I like to say what I will do to them when I get my hands on them, I'll start going into painful detail of how I will sexually destroy them and how I will make their family watch as I do it then hang up after saying see you soon big boy xx.

 

[Just A Fat Round Bird]

Just continuously blowing into the microphone until they yield and hang up.

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

i waste their time

 

[Alex Hogendorp]

Ask them if they shit on the streets. If they say yes, you know they're Indian.

 

[Gorton Colu]

I just speak Spanish to them and they curse at me for not knowing English all the while I can barely understand their heavily accented English pidgin.

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

Depends on the mood I'm in. Sometimes I just say "okay" until they hang up. Unsurprisingly they'll take you quite far in the process if you just do that, usually up to the point they start demanding credit card info.
Other times I'll find some way to segue the discussion to me providing a vivid description of a disgusting, festering rash on my balls and I don't let them change the subject. If they try to get back on topic to move things along I'll try to find some way to make it about my balls again.