There will come a sad day in the future when this FAT FUCK will die and we will hath lost our most prized SITE OWNER.
We should all realize that this FAT FUCK is not forever... One of these days, he's going to get dick slapped by a barely passing tranny, and then he is going to kill himself on the youtube in shame (accidentally I might add, because we know he couldn't technically do it himself). That is, after he pulls his pants down in church and uploads it to the internet in order to prove that he is straight. So when the time comes for his inevitable burial.
So that's why we must form a DEATH DAY PARTY for our friend, Joshua Connor Moon. I'm saying we should IRL crash & raid his funeral, turning it into a "FUN!"-eral, wearing Guy Fawkes
masks and pickle suits
and all "PARTY HARD!!!" with loud music, free food, and drink. Flamboyant troons are utmost welcome
.
We should spend the time there giving all these "sincere" mementos and speeches about how Null sucked and how the country of Bosnia will be better off without him and how the mysterious smell has finally dissipated!
Most importantly, the "big speech", we must recite his entire life and all his failures to everyone there, starting from his failure to say mommie (MUNKY!) to his creation Kiwi Farms, to the inevitable future moment when he pulls his pants down in church and gets heroically raped by a barely passing tranny!
Then, after we finish telling our audience every single minor detail, complete with projector screens showing every MATI video from the Mad at the Internet youtube channel, in chronological order I may add, we will all proceed to spit, fart, piss, shit, and masturbate on his tombstone, kicking it and screaming "FUCK LIFE! WHAT A WASTE!" "FUCK YOUR LIFE! WHAT A WASTE!" and write "REST IN PIECES FAG" on the headstone while other may pour pickles and tartar sauce all over his grave. Firecrackers are also a necessity, I would suggest lighting them off at the start of our raid, as hundreds of picklemen storm the gates open blasting confetti over bystanders.
I'd itch to dig up the corpse and set it on fire but I digress that to be too much, because the smell of burning ASS and AXE would be FAR too much to handle. However I will say by the time we start to close out we will bring forth the shattered remains of his treasured Kiwi Farms website. We sprinkle the hardened crayola model magic shards on the mess of pickles and tartar sauce like nuts on a sundae. The cherry. you may ask? His high school ring.
After we're done, and everybody cheers us for our grand show, we pass out political activist pamphlets for abortion
and against welfare
, for we must educate America on how to prevent fucktards.
And thus, the first, and last Kiwi convention. It would be the perfect spot for the first and last "Kiwi"-con, with major trolling celebrities welcome to come. The red carpet should definitely be rolled out for Keffals and Samuel Collingwood Smith. In the course of the main events, such as the "big speech", panels will be held by the likes of veterans trolling celebrities and JULAY!
fags alike.
After all, if the endless supply of LULZ were to die, we have to make sure it goes out with a BANG!
