What if every Kiwi Farms user got teleported to a large abandoned island?

[⚞⛇⚟]

who would last the longest?

 

[Character from a movie]

I'd start gulping down seawater.

 

[Party Hat Wurmple]

Read the title.

 

[not william stenchever]

The well adjusted people would band together into tribes and get to work securing their survival. @JosephStalin would probably become a shaman and @Jet Fuel Johnny would become a war leader. The less well adjusted people would seek out the beauty parlor and other female users seeking bobs and vagene. After much chaos and death the survivors would settle into an equilibrium of tribes with their own territories and further conflict would not come until conditions became stable and the tribes started becoming covetous of their neighbors' possessions.

It would be fun finding out which youtubers and journalists had accounts here.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

I'd die after trying to make friends with a crab.

 

[Local Farmer]

I would make wood carvings depicting soyjaks

 

[WE'RE ALL GONNA]

I would immediately cannibalize the ones too fat and useless to contribute to the tribe

 

[Claude Sigma]

As long as we can secure a source of drinkable water, with the incredible amount of very obese women here I think we have enough to eat for a very long time.

 

[anliteralidiot]

I'll make cow art for whoever has water

 

[Gangstalker #32194]

all of the sex would be consensual

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

I'd have fun hunting you all in your sleep

 

[CowPox]

It would no longer be abandoned.

 

[We Are The Witches]

We can interpret your title in 2 ways: one where all Kiwifarmers are trapped in a single island, or each Kiwifarmer going to an abandoned island by their own.

If it's the first option, we can start a story like Kingdom Hearts, I'll be Sora, you get to be Riku.

If it's the second option and we're all in our own island, I'd start gaining power and surviving due to my Bear Grylls training, then I'd go & colonize all your islands. I'll enslave you into farmers of some type of fruit or bird.

 

[The Ugly One]

The island would be fat, and I would not have sex with it.

 

[OrionBalls]

First goal is to find a spring while you are all enamored with the difficulty of opening coconuts. Second goal is to build a secure shelter.

 

[GaryGray]

Artist rendition of the island 15 seconds after everyone was dropped off.

 

[paroom paroom]

I only agree to discuss the premise provided that the island is Sark Island in the Sea of Nuhuhu. I don't mind some dehydration as long as there is quantum dolphin racing.


But seriously, I actually wouldn't mind, I think most people would be a lot less unhinged once removed from constant connection to the internet and they touched some sand and received some sunshine, in spite of the heat. Maybe sunkissed bliss could be achieved by many.

 

[⚞⛇⚟]

Nooo the BBL sock account was banned again.

 

[F00LS_3RRAND]

 

[PonderosaPete]

Form a nation of soldiers. Operation desert shit storm style.