What if plants were sentient?

[SandyCat]

Would you still own them? Is it ethical to mow your sentient lawn? How would lawn sentience even work? Is each individual blade of grass sentient or would it be a collective hive mind? Would vegans still be vegan when they hear the dying screams of the plants they eat?

If a human tries breeding with a plant would it lead to the equivalent of Warhammer 40k's Orkz?

If a tree screams in the woods but no one is around to hear it does it make a sound?

 

[King Fructose]

Would smoking weed be considered a form of plant abuse?

 

[SpumbleSplabloo]

We would have lolferns.

 

[The Cunting Death]

Then I'd bust out my Audrey 2 and make millions

 

[Red Hood]

I'm sorry I gotta do this, tomato. But my well-done steak demands ketchup.

 

[Pixy]

The vegans will starve to death.

edit: They would start eating artificial meat instead tbh

 

[Solid Snek]

If a human tries breeding with a plant would it lead to the equivalent of Warhammer 40k's Orkz?

Orkz are sentient fungus, not plants, and certainly not half-humie, half-plantie hybrids.

Humans breeding with plants leads to the hentai industry and the Japanese hikikomori crisis.

 

[NoodleFucker3000]

Vegans would starve to death and honestly? Not a bad pay off.

 

[NekoRightsActivist]

They are, so go eat rock and mineral instead

 

[Grub]

Who says they're not? Maybe you just need to learn to speak tree?

Do Trees Talk to Each Other?

A controversial German forester says yes, and his ideas are shaking up the scientific world

www.smithsonianmag.com

The Effect of Music on Plant Growth

Do plants like music? It's a controversial topic: Studies have supported the claim that music can result in better growth, but many disagree with those findings. Hear both sides and decide for yourself.

dengarden.com

Aspects of Plant Intelligence

Abstract. Intelligence is not a term commonly used when plants are discussed. However, I believe that this is an omission based not on a true assessment of the

academic.oup.com

Fungal threads are the internet of the plant world

Plants use the familiar white threads that hang off their roots to communicate and warn each other of disease

www.newscientist.com

Plants grow, reproduce, respond in different ways to stress and environmental conditions, form complex relationships with their environment and other plant species in their environment. They communicate with their seedlings and other plants and trees in their environment using electrical signals carried by fungi that grow between their root systems, many trees can live for over a thousand years, they've existed longer than a lot of more complex life that exists today.

I really honestly wouldn't be surprised if plants were sentient in some way.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

So like...they just grow feelings? They can't run away or actually do anything about it?

Oh no, hurting fee fees? That's just inexcusable! Thank goodness we have all that extra time from not mowing our lawns, now our schedule will be open to tuck our dicks between our legs, put our fucking cats in a stroller and walk them through the park while talking about our menopause cramps.

And as to breeding with them, it's a little bit suspicious that someone with a furry avatar's mind immediately jumps to having sex with the lower orders as soon as they gain sentience. That's all I'm saying.

 

[Jason Wynn]

This game would be based on a true story

 

[Uncle Sid]

Fuck plants they are assholes. Remember the time they got interviewed on Sifl & Olly? Plants are fucking dicks.

Just being sentient doesn't make you not a jerk.

 

[SandyCat]

And as to breeding with them, it's a little bit suspicious that someone with a furry avatar's mind immediately jumps to having sex with the lower orders as soon as they gain sentience. That's all I'm saying.

Those cabbages do be looking pretty fuckable tho not gonna lie