What if: Rent-a-Lolcow

DykesDykesChina

DykesDykesChina

Human/Science
Deceased
kiwifarms.net
Joined
Feb 3, 2013
What if there was a service through which one could rent Lolcows for parties etc. for an hourly fee? Whom would you rent? (Since this is Lolcow General, you can't pick Chris)

I'd get me some Anthos. He's probably sorta fun to hang with and his costume rocks!
 
Sailormoonred, as he seems to be a nice guy and isn't really fucked up like the others.

If not him, then either PDK or MsUmlaut, because last time anyone heard from either of them, they were trying to get away from being lolcows and wanted to turn their lives around. Plus, both of those spergs seem high-functioning enough to hold a conversation with.

I don't know enough about Anthos to say anything about him
 
  • Disagree
Reactions: Guts Gets Some
JustinRPG as a wedding singer anyone? I have a Reshiram plush to play him with.
 
I would rent DrMusic2 and make her hang around naked (not even her diaper) for the grossout and insanity factor.
 
Fialovy said:
JustinRPG as a wedding singer anyone? I have a Reshiram plush to play him with.
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You might get the plushie back wet and sticky. Or worse, covered in shit.
 
MysticMisty said:
Fialovy said:
JustinRPG as a wedding singer anyone? I have a Reshiram plush to play him with.
Click to expand...
You might get the plushie back wet and sticky. Or worse, covered in shit.
Click to expand...

No no, I'm going to let him keep that plushie. I'm going to pay him with that plushie
 
I think it was in Ancient Greece where the rich would hire philosophers to attend their parties as a sort of status symbol. I imagine the same could be true of hiring a lolcow for your party.
 
If we're limited to people mentioned in this forum, then definitely Maddox. Most people wouldn't consider him an lolcow and he's the most normal of the people mentioned in the forum so far.

I might invite ADF or the Spanish North Korea sympathizer to a party, but it would be a party of libertarians or tea party supporters. Hilarity would ensue.
 
You can use Sonmanic as a form of birth control. He would be like one of those flour babies, but more interactive. Give them to any teen and they will not want to have children for a loooooooooong time.
 
If I was able to rent a lolcow or two, I'd get me Anthos and A-Log. Anthos would pretty much make me and the party goer's laugh due to how he acts, thinking he is tough and all, though he could probably be fun to party with. A-Log would give the party some stand up comedy, making it into a drinking game everytime he tells a horrible joke, you take a shot and try to last through each joke. The winner gets to show A-Log some real comedy or even show him some real stand up.
 
Fialovy said:
JustinRPG as a wedding singer anyone? I have a Reshiram plush to play him with.
Click to expand...

I imagine after he's done singing you would immediately want him far, far away from your wedding.
 
yeah, pretty much, but it would be fun if he was there for the dancing and stuff just to watch.
 
Yeah, but he should be in a plastic bubble and kept far away from any of the food.
 
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