What is a productive use of time?

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

I've run into an issue for a long time that's only gotten worse. I can't enjoy/focus on any single thing I do.
I don't enjoy my job particularly, and there's very little opportunities for me at the moment to advance. Maybe sometime not long from now, but where I'm at now, there's very little I can do.
I try to write, but I find myself wondering when/if I'll ever actually make anything off of it. It's something I enjoy. But it feels like dead-time. Time I could be trying to make more money I'm writing and I might not see any real progress/rewards from it for a very long time.
I try watching media, but I can't concentrate and feel guilty for wasting my time.
I think about getting an education. But I'd want to study art/media, which I know is rather pointless to spends years and money to get a degree in.
I go to the gym. That's the one thing that objectively I could say brings me some fulfillment.

I think the main issue is I don't want to be a failure in life. And I feel I only have a short amount of time to achieve things. I know the modern way of thinking is that it's never too late to get started in life, but I really do feel like I'll be a fuck-up if I haven't accomplished anything/achieved some progress at the age of 30.
Is there anything that is a productive use of time? Or a way to fuction and enjoy a moment even though you know it's pointless in the long run? Is there something that can be done to forget the world is fucked or be in a steady enough place to not think about it that much?

 

[Matt Damon]

If you're deeply afraid of being a failure at life, it seems like you necessarily have some intuitive sense of what "success" would entail. I suppose productivity would mean working toward that.

 

[Lifeguard Hermit]

Try jerking off less

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

If you're deeply afraid of being a failure at life, it seems like you necessarily have some intuitive sense of what "success" would entail. I suppose productivity would mean working toward that.

Yeah but isn't wanting to write or work in any creative field a failure prone, autistic view of success for most?

 

[Matt Damon]

Yeah but isn't wanting to write or work in any creative field a failure prone, autistic view of success for most?

I guess, but what's the alternative?

 

[William Tyndale]

My opinion is shit, but here it is anyway. Focus on the most difficult thing to do. If it’s the most difficult thing for you, it is also the most difficult thing for other people too. If you have the gumption to persevere then odds are you will be one of the few people who can do that thing well. There’s a reason plumbers get paid a lot - no one wants to dig in shit. The road less traveled and all of that. Hope that helps but it probably doesn’t.

Ps. The toil of your 20’s won’t pay off until you’re in your 30’s. And you won’t get to enjoy it until your 40’s. But when you’re 40 you’ll be really glad you pushed through your 20’s.

 

[Ultrapenguin]

A lot of people struggle with that I think.

- Music is great, and it's proven to be neurologically helpful in a bunch of different ways. If you do it enough the technicals will become second nature and it'll just happen, you don't even necessarily have to know what you're playing. Plus you can play it for other people if you want. I think women are still into musicians. I can't guarantee that though.

It definitely fits the bill as something that can be done to forget about the world. Don't take it too seriously though.

Spoiler: Music tips

Just keep an acoustic guitar/piano/violin/whatever somewhere in your general vicinity, it sounds dumb but the #1 most consistent piece of advice to improve at playing is simply to make it as convenient as possible to pick up your instrument. Niggers overcomplicate things because they're attached to electric instruments, but that's because they're dumb.

If you have immediately playable instruments in your general vicinity you will pick them up and play them, and if you pick them up and play them eventually tolerable things will start materializing automatically, and that's when you really start to enjoy it. It's that simple.

- Yes, wanting to work in creative mediums is kind of autistic. It's also a bad idea. Don't seek to turn creative pursuits into careers unless you're willing to lose it as an outlet. It's better to just make enough money doing something else that you can do that shit if you want to on the side. Become a mechanical engineer or something.


I think it's helpful to realize that the human psyche isn't compartmentalized. If you're learning something you're not just learning that thing, you're deepening your understanding of things in general. It isn't so much about what you're doing, it's about how you engage with what you're doing.
There are people who can travel across the entire world and be just as motherfucking stupid as the day they left, and there are people who can discover profound truths about life while looking at birds and dandelions in their local park.

Just by your brain being active and pursuing avenues you find interesting or unusual, you're going to grow your abilities and become more in touch in general. You'll also learn how to learn, which is very helpful because with the evolving world as it is today adaptability is one of the most valuable traits a person can have.

Don't agonize too much over what the "right" thing to do is, trust your gut a little more, you don't always have to be doing something in a socially approved sense to be growing as a person.
Also make sure to recognize that your physical health can have a major impact on your perception of what is or isn't worthwhile. Your brain is a physical body part, exactly like every other, and stress itself can seriously inhibit its function.

I can't guarantee that'll provide economic success, but you won't be as bothered by the fact that it doesn't, and you won't be nearly as dogged by the feeling that you're "wasting time".

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

I think women are still into musicians. I can't guarantee that though.

Only if you're above 6'11 and have an extremely-high melanin/skin-percentage

 

[Matt Damon]

I think women are still into musicians. I can't guarantee that though.

Depends entirely on the type of musician.

Playing lots of really nerdy guitar-centric music was a liability for me if anything - women care about the social status your abilities confer, not the ability itself.

 

[Ita Mori]

For me, a productive use of time is anything that improves your life in a way that allows you to produce/earn more or become more practically adept at a certain task.

Examples are subjective. Learning music can be a waste of time if you have no practical use for it. Becoming good at Street Fighter is always a waste despite the skill and discipline it requires unless you're lucky enough to break into the 0.001%.

I'm not saying don't have hobbies or fun; I'm saying that I relate productivity with practicality.

 

[Dark Horse]

Have you thought that you might be unwell? I have a very low important mineral at the moment and have similar symptoms. Might be worth getting checked out.

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Have you thought that you might be unwell? I have a very low important mineral at the moment and have similar symptoms. Might be worth getting checked out.

This is embarrassing and I don't want to overshare here but yes.
I feel borderline retarded sometimes with how little I can concentrate on anything. I find myself just replaying shitty memories over and over and feel like anything I'd try outside of the menial job I'm doing right now would be borderline impossible with how little I can focus.
I've been advised to try counseling but I generally have had shitty experience with it and medicine and I consider it a last ditch option. I think most of my issues, like most human issues, are things I could solve if I had the will to.
I do know I'm not eating particularly well or sleeping well either. So I'm really batting a hundred.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding like the typical zoomer right now. I'm not proud of any of this. I know this isn't a hugbox and that a lot of this is self-inflicted.

I just wonder a lot if this is just who I am now. When you've been a fuck-up for so long you start wondering if there's another side to all of it you'll ever see. The idea that I can't ever feel productive, or worse not spend the next decade actually being productive, scares the shit out of me.

 

[Dojima's Dragon]

For me, a productive use of time is anything that improves your life in a way that allows you to produce/earn more or become more practically adept at a certain task.

Examples are subjective. Learning music can be a waste of time if you have no practical use for it. Becoming good at Street Fighter is always a waste despite the skill and discipline it requires unless you're lucky enough to break into the 0.001%.

I'm not saying don't have hobbies or fun; I'm saying that I relate productivity with practicality.

1v1 me beannigger prob a dirty akuma main

 

[Dark Horse]

This is embarrassing and I don't want to overshare here but yes.
I feel borderline retarded sometimes with how little I can concentrate on anything. I find myself just replaying shitty memories over and over and feel like anything I'd try outside of the menial job I'm doing right now would be borderline impossible with how little I can focus.
I've been advised to try counseling but I generally have had shitty experience with it and medicine and I consider it a last ditch option. I think most of my issues, like most human issues, are things I could solve if I had the will to.
I do know I'm not eating particularly well or sleeping well either. So I'm really batting a hundred.
I'm sorry if I'm sounding like the typical zoomer right now. I'm not proud of any of this. I know this isn't a hugbox and that a lot of this is self-inflicted.

I just wonder a lot if this is just who I am now. When you've been a fuck-up for so long you start wondering if there's another side to all of it you'll ever see. The idea that I can't ever feel productive, or worse not spend the next decade actually being productive, scares the shit out of me.

I think you need to ask your doctor for specific tests such as your iron levels and vitamin D for example. You can't counsel your way out of a deficiency or other physical problem.
Also if in doubt eat more veg!

 

[Gas Station Boner Pills]

Not to sound like some kind of pretentious psychology fag, but this sounds more like an existential crisis in disguise than a real need for more stimulation. You can find a ton of ways to better yourself or be "productive" in some form or another but I doubt it will make you feel any different than what you described. You sound like you need more meaning in your life.

 

[glow]

If you're chronically sleep deprived, even when you don't feel sleepy your concentration can be very poor. What is getting in the way of getting good sleep? Note that while getting a good single night's sleep is great, you can see amazing effects after a week or so. Consider giving up alcohol and caffeine for a time and see how you feel (easier said than done lol)

Without doxing yourself, is it perhaps quite dark where you are right now? I found that having a sun lamp blasting inches from my face while I do a hard HIIT spin workout in the morning does a lot for my mood. I then follow that up with heavy weight training later in the day or in the evening. If I miss a few of these sessions, I start falling back into old patterns, procrastinating, excessive drinking and other bad habits start to seep back in.

 

[samarinda]

define productive, define failure in life

 

[(((I am NOT a jew)))]

Thank you guys for the help. I was expecting a different reaction for the most part. I appreciate the answers.
I think one thing is that I'm running into the brick wall that most godless fags eventually run into. I can't find a way to force myself to believe in anything spiritual, even if I know the alternative is an existential dead-end.
My main goals for the next month should be: start eating right, proper intake of minerals, proper sleep, exercise more.
I know these things will help but I agree it's lack of meaning in my life I can't fight. I don't know how to surpass this other than accepting that most of life is kind of boring and pointless and just finding a way to accept that.
I think a big thing that weighs on me is trying to balance out what priorities should be important to me.
I'd like financial security and to be able to raise a family at some point.
But I also find writing fiction is the only thing that makes my life not completely hollow. The problem is I'm not retarded enough to think that just working hard can really facilitate actually breaking into or making a living off of it. I also don't see any actual avenues for a regular person to even get into any of the mediums, especially film.
It's just hard when you know you'll probably never be able to do the one thing you want in life but also know the things that will make life more sustainable for you probably won't give you any real joy.

define productive, define failure in life

Productive is seeing results and/or progress from things that will make you more content with life.
Productive could be a man getting a raise doing construction, reaching a new social standing in society (wife, marriage, community), or seeing positive results from even an autistic hobby.
I'd say failure is a lot easier in that everyone knows subconsciously what one is. Basically being most of the people on this site.
Nobody wants to lack communication with others, friends, a spouse, security, a skill. But more than anything I'd say failure is looking back at a large sum of time and wondering where it went. I don't care what people say. There comes a point where in your 20s/30s if you lack some of the basic fundamentals a large sum of polite society has (wealth, family, spiritualism), it does seem like the universe is starting to tell you you're not really needed on the planet anymore and it gets harder to trick yourself into believing you are.

 

[FatalTater]

But more than anything I'd say failure is looking back at a large sum of time and wondering where it went.

In my experience, no matter what you do with your life you're going to have moments like that.

Get some vitamin D, don't even bother going to a doctor for it, it's really hard to overdose on. If supplements aren't an option at least go outside in the sun once in a while. Maybe feed the birds while you're out there.

Someone once said "Comparison is the thief of joy." Don't look at what wonderful things the people you went to school with are putting on their social media and feel like you should have that too. Just be happy that they are happy. (Unless it's someone you didn't like, then you should think mean thoughts about them for a few minutes.)

If you find yourself with nothing to do for a bit, maybe do something practical like washing dishes or taking out garbage. If that's already done then learn some small thing that could be useful someday, like how to fix an overflowing toilet or hook up jumper cables. Are you physically fit enough to help someone load a moving van if asked? That's a handy thing to be able to do, so exercise/weight lifting might be worth doing and can be done while watching TV so you don't feel like you're mindlessly consuming media.

Writing is a hard thing to make a living with, but if you enjoy it then keep doing it, even if it's just for yourself for now.

 

[glow]

My main goals for the next month should be: start eating right, proper intake of minerals, proper sleep, exercise more.

You must also visit the doctor or at least do a blood test, there are many services where you can mail a vial of your blood to have it tested. For example, if you are low on iron then you could feel amazing in comparison reasonably quickly by resolving this.

Come to think of it, it doesn't seem anyone has mentioned low testosterone yet, which is a potential root cause of feeling lethargic, directionless and having poor sleep, so this is also something you should consider.