What would happen if you deep fried a human?

Ughubughughughughughghlug

Ughubughughughughughghlug

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Think of this like Kiwi Farms does XKCD
If you plunged a living human into boiling vegetable oil, deep fry them, what would happen?
 
But I didn't deep fry a human so I don't know what would happen.....
 
Has the human been gutted beforehand?

If it's literally just dump a human in a vat of boiling oil and flash fry it would probably be like biting into deep fried pork, complete with little hairs and maybe a tattoo.

... Why are you asking this?
 
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Roast Chicken said:
Has the human been gutted beforehand?
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No, just a whole human. Like, would they blow up or something. Think the Aqua Teen Hunger Force deep fried cow scene.

Roast Chicken said:
If it's literally just dump a human in a vat of boiling oil and flash fry it would probably be like biting into deep fried pork, complete with little hairs and maybe a tattoo.
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Interestingly, I've never heard of anyone deep frying pork, or beef (although slugburgers and country fried steak are basically that in shallower oil).

Roast Chicken said:
... Why are you asking this?
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I saw the thing about Kamala Harris bragging about giving more money to Lebanon in the middle of the hurricane and I just automatically thought "She should be thrown in a deep fryer."

If you want a deeper answer, maybe I had the idea of fried chicken vs roasted chicken on my mind as I was going to go to KFC today but changed my mind, and last time I went to KFC I had a piece of roasted chicken and realized that it was a lot better than fried chicken, and it's been in my head ever since whether a grill (which I need to buy due to the hurricanes, I need a reliable heating element for power outages in the future) would be able to make really good roast chicken, which would be a lot healthier for me anyways as I realized I'm probably going to keel over soon if I don't change my ways.
 
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I imagine they'd die in over 99.99% of cases, or would wish they did if some anti-miracle occurred.
 
Ughubughughughughughghlug said:
No, just a whole human. Like, would they blow up or something. Think the Aqua Teen Hunger Force deep fried cow scene.


Interestingly, I've never heard of anyone deep frying pork, or beef (although slugburgers and country fried steak are basically that in shallower oil).


I saw the thing about Kamala Harris bragging about giving more money to Lebanon in the middle of the hurricane and I just automatically thought "She should be thrown in a deep fryer."

If you want a deeper answer, maybe I had the idea of fried chicken vs roasted chicken on my mind as I was going to go to KFC today but changed my mind, and last time I went to KFC I had a piece of roasted chicken and realized that it was a lot better than fried chicken, and it's been in my head ever since whether a grill (which I need to buy due to the hurricanes, I need a reliable heating element for power outages in the future) would be able to make really good roast chicken, which would be a lot healthier for me anyways as I realized I'm probably going to keel over soon if I don't change my ways.
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I mean, if they've still got their intestines and stomach then yeah I imagine the gasses that are sitting there would make the "carcass" burst as it's cooked similar to how you cook something in a microwave and it explodes open. Or the gasses would try to escape through the mouth and anus as the body's cooked; I imagine most of the organs inside would be popping and melting, leaking all sorts of contaminants inside and spoiling the flesh; not a good idea to leave those in at all if you're roleplaying Hannibal Lecter.

The eyeballs would pop, too. I reckon the tongue would swell and protrude out of the mouth, possibly blocking the escaping gasses but they still might be able to exit the nostrils? I'm just going mostly by imagination here. And maybe past anatomy lessons from gore websites...

I've had fried pork in a fondue and in Chinese takeaway, pretty good.

Yeah, roast chicken's very yummy (I did name myself after it) the skin's the best part when it's all crispy and salted on top but still wet and chewy on the underside.
 
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Well, from experience, you need about ten seconds at 350°F to give them a giant 3rd degree blister. Not sure what happens after that.
 
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