What would you commission if you could afford the world's greatest artists?

[Skitarii]

⠀

 

[The Last Stand]

I'd make them paint me a circle.

 

[kartofel]

I don't have a particular piece in mind, but I feel the world could always use some more Art Nouveau. If you ever played VTMB, it is the style the Malkavian Primogen's mansion is built/decorated in. I tend to like architecture, so I'd probably commission some sort of building in the style, rather than just a painting or a sculpture. Bonus points if I get to tear down some abomination of modern architecture.

 

[Suburban Bastard]

The Goatse, either drawn in Renaissance style realism by Leonardo Da Vinci, or sculpted into a statue by Michelangelo.

 

[David Brown]

Thousands and thousands of life-size bronze statues of Farmers #1 and #2 from the Simpsons, spreading their assholes open and they would be installed in the front lawn of every elected official and forum janitor in the United States, forcing them to look at a gaping Sneedhole every morning while they sip their coffee and look out the front window. Fuck jannies

 

[Freedom Fighter]

Tranny wound.

 

[We Are The Witches]

I'll go wild and ask for an entire city that mixes elements of Gothic and Renaissance style with fantasy (that some games try to do, or concept art). The image below is just an idea.


It would be a gigantic project and require a masterpiece of architecture, but it would be nice to see.
Example of Cathedral in that style:

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The bathhouse and its surrounding area from Spirited Away. I'm not going to go into if it's efficient/realistic to maintain or not, because at this point I'm almost talking about fantasy.


It would almost be like a theme-park, but taken care down to the last detail. The artists could add new elements, but it would follow the same style.

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I'm obviously going overboard because I don't feel like answering with something relatively small or simple in comparison.

 

[Power Ranger Monster]

Rape with a turd (NO CALARTS)

 

[Megaroad 2012]

 

[Chocolate Wombat]

Several recreations of the Georgia Guide Stones, made out of granite and carved with an inscription in 12 different languages. They would be proudly displayed in Seattle, San Francisco, Washington DC, at Yaniv's home town and at a certain ranch in Colorado.

Spoiler: The Inscription

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors. Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

 

[MerriedxReldnahc]

I would hire Simon Bisley to paint me with big bazonkers

 

[Stabmaster Arson]

Honestly, my dog.

 

[Quantum Diabetes]

A loving renaissance style portrait of Milwaukee’s beloved Rich Evans

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Michelangelo, a statue of marble of me banging your Mom.

 

[Retink]

I'd want @SandyCat 's avatar to finally be able to eat that sandwich. Poor titty cat has been drooling over it for years now.

 

[Skitarii]

Several recreations of the Georgia Guide Stones, made out of granite and carved with an inscription in 12 different languages. They would be proudly displayed in Seattle, San Francisco, Washington DC, at Yaniv's home town and at a certain ranch in Colorado.

Spoiler: The Inscription

You will never be a real woman. You have no womb, you have no ovaries, you have no eggs. You are a homosexual man twisted by drugs and surgery into a crude mockery of nature’s perfection. All the “validation” you get is two-faced and half-hearted. Behind your back people mock you. Your parents are disgusted and ashamed of you, your “friends” laugh at your ghoulish appearance behind closed doors. Men are utterly repulsed by you. Thousands of years of evolution have allowed men to sniff out frauds with incredible efficiency. Even trannies who “pass” look uncanny and unnatural to a man. Your bone structure is a dead giveaway. And even if you manage to get a drunk guy home with you, he’ll turn tail and bolt the second he gets a whiff of your diseased, infected axe wound. You will never be happy. You wrench out a fake smile every single morning and tell yourself it’s going to be ok, but deep inside you feel the depression creeping up like a weed, ready to crush you under the unbearable weight. Eventually it’ll be too much to bear - you’ll buy a rope, tie a noose, put it around your neck, and plunge into the cold abyss. Your parents will find you, heartbroken but relieved that they no longer have to live with the unbearable shame and disappointment. They’ll bury you with a headstone marked with your birth name, and every passerby for the rest of eternity will know a man is buried there. Your body will decay and go back to the dust, and all that will remain of your legacy is a skeleton that is unmistakably male. This is your fate. This is what you chose. There is no turning back.

I would fund this

 

[PipTheAlchemist]

A statue of me in nothing more than a well-filled speedo, with a delightfully chiseled and muscular beach bod