what would you do if i told you my real name?

[Neo-Nazi Rich Evans]

if i were to dox my name, how would you react?

 

[RACISM]

Furious googling most likely.

 

[Penis Drager 2.0]

I'd just assume you're a lying faggot making a poor attempt at some kind of low-key PA request.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

I'd probably forget about it in a couple hours.

 

[Unarmed Gunman]

Fuck off Clarence.

 

[parsnip]

I would wonder why you would do that and then get distracted by some other thought and forget about it

 

[We Are The Witches]

Look furiously through the whitepages for all "Steve"s there exist there in hopes I can get dirt on you!

 

[Obstacle]

Send you a Christmas card.

 

[SentinentCloud]

with your real name i would eslave you with dark magic and make you do mky bidding as the servant demon you are

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

Get it tattooed on my hip right under “property off”

 

[Daddy's Angry Juice]

Id probably call you gay, then you would hold on tightly to my firm ass, then we would look into each other's eyes. Yours twinkling in the moon light as if to let off a tear. Id say "you're gay" and with a nervous gulp you'd say "but I'm your gay."

Then we turn that into a young adult novel series to promote towards teenage girls. We adopt a few children from China, and try to have a simple home life, but then I get a heroin habit, you keep trying to get me off it, but as it turns out, heroin kicks ass. Our publisher eventually drops us and our adopted children change their last name to your maiden name.

Ten years later, I'm barbecuing some burgers in the backyard of my trailer that I spent the last of my royalties on. A car comes into my driveway, at first I'm hesitant then my eyes adjust to the light. A figure steps out of the driver's seat, as they come closer the light of the grill begins to illuminate their face. It's you, I ask "would you like a burger?" you say "Yes." and we spend the night away reminiscing on the years gone by.

 

[Laburnum]

I would say 'wow'.

 

[soup peddler]

It's okay slartibartfast, we already know

 

[Dysnomia]

I would immediately forget because OP is not important enough to take up space in my brain.