Which spirit is less detectable on your breath at work?

[Forsaken Wanderer]

Hypothetically let's say you hated your job and to cope you wanted to keep a bottle of spirits in the car. When you parked up you would take a good drink, then a couple of times throughout the day you would come back for a top up. Which bottle of spirits is least likely to be detected on your breath? Thanks in advance.

 

[SpergioLeonne]

Time spirit, aka zeitgeist

 

[Vect]

Vodka. But don't drink before work, because before you know it you start justifying to yourself why you won't need to go in.

If you work at a hospital or kitchen, forget I said anything.

 

[The Evil Midnight Bomber]

alcoholic mouthwash

 

[OrionBalls]

If you are enough of a drunk to want alcohol to cope with work, I'd suggest a schnapps. Vodka is the common answer, but if you take a shot of vodka, then eat a peppermint, you smell like a minty drunk. That shit is in your gut and those gasses escape through your mouth.

If you want to learn how to deal with people and not feel the overwhelming need to drink, I've got no ideas, except to work on yourself. I just know that taking a small nip at work here and there can eventually lead to long term issues like showing up to interviews tipsy, so that's your baseline of behavior.

 

[SNU]

Mouth wash. Or if you're a fancy boy who is too good to drink mouthwash, peppermint schnapps with green food coloring in a listerine bottle.

Or just smoke after a drink. Your breath will smell like cigarettes. Non smokers wont be able to smell anything else. Only smokers who are immune to the smell will be able to smell anything through the tobacco breath

Or get some really cheap and nasty spirits that smell like chemicals, add blue food coloring, put it in a window cleaner spray bottle and spray it into your mouth when you need a drink. People will just think you're drinking windex and won't realize it's booze

You could also wear a covid mask and stand 6ft from everyone and pretend like you're really scared of covid

 

[JethroTullamore]

Vodka and orange juice.
You can’t smell the vodka and you can mix it in an orange juice bottle 50/50 or better without being able to tell, or smell it in there either.

 

[Diabeetus69]

In all seriousness, it is most likely vodka. The whole point of vodka is to make it as tasteless and smooth as possible. (I'm talking true vodka here, not that flavored shit Absolute or Three Olives puts out) whereas all other spirits go out of their way to make it taste like "something".
I remember someone once telling me that is how vodka "martinis" and "vodka tonics" all started becoming popular.
Back it the 60's and 70's, it wasn't unusual for business men to have a couple of drinks on their lunch break, hence the "Three Martini Lunch".
But, gin is always infused with herbals, the most predominant of which being juniper, would make you come back to work smelling like an old xmas tree.
So, they started making these drinks with vodka instead, so nobody would be able to tell you had a couple with the boys over your chicken parm.

 

[Dyn]

People will smell the alcohol in your sweat as it metabolises no matter how you cover it up, if you want to get dumb at work just go lie to a doctor about having anxiety attacks.

 

[PFM]

People will smell the alcohol in your sweat as it metabolises no matter how you cover it up, if you want to get dumb at work just go lie to a doctor about having anxiety attacks.

This is the correct answer. Benzo it up and if someone calls you out on slurring your words flip out on them about your mental wellbeing.

 

[Cardinal Cardinal]

Just quit your job, you drunk.

 

[RollerGator]

The holy spirit amen

 

[Poppavalyim Andropoff]

meth

 

[proangelwhangs]

have you considered an enema bag with literally any alcohol administered during bathroom breaks.

 

[Stan]

People will just think you're drinking windex and won't realize it's booze

I think the manager would still want a word if you were habitually drinking what looked like Windex from a spray bottle.

Anyway the answer is eat hand sanitizer.

 

[OrionBalls]

I know Q&A is a joke thread, but please don't actually drink mouthwash. Had a friend in the rooms who died doing that shit when she couldn't cope with life on life's terms anymore. There's a lot of crap in there that's not ethanol that can exacerbate other issues.

 

[Dyn]

This is the correct answer. Benzo it up and if someone calls you out on slurring your words flip out on them about your mental wellbeing.

Complain about it leaving you hungover and feeling completely shit most of the day until they switch you to xannies. Then complain about them still making you too dopey and lethargic to function until they put you on a little adderal. Complain that the adderals gives you paranoia and twitchiness until they switch that to pure dexedrine.

Congrats you now have the finest medicare speedballs available.

 

[Optimum Cockfag]

Have you considered working from home?

 

[Orange Tabby]

Irish coffee

 

[eatler]

Had a coworker who would down entire bottles of Fireball then snack on Fireball candies and say “no way man I’m not drinking, that’s just the fireball candy” he had a DUI and had to have his dad and one of our coworkers drive him places(the bar). Real shame too he was really smart at welding and fixing things.