Why Can't I Accept Being Dead? I Hired You, Didn't I? To Kill Me? Time Waits For No One. I Really Don't.

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KiwiToucher

kiwifarms.net
Joined
Dec 25, 2019
I'm a bit high right now... 40 mg of THC... I need, uh... I need some time alone... in this nest of predatory vampires... here is where I feel most alone... with you. All of you reading this... your presence helps make me feel alone.


So, since I'm alone... I'm going to have a chat with myself.

My family... my whole family... gone. All my friends... gone.

Its just me... me and you... I like hiding in the nothingness of your lost souls.

I don't even really know when or how it happened... I mean, I guess I know... I have a lot of logs.... it was when I was more liberal... and they were more conservative... I said such horrible things... I was the worst kind of liberal at the time... the kind that HURT people... and I hurt a lot of the ones I love, a lot of the ones who helped me... like my uncle.

Was during Obama's presidency mostly... I drove away all my loved ones becoming a brutal liberal... the kind that leveled the way for its latest bastardized evolution.

My generation's liberal based trolling...


We fucked up and created the perfect breeding ground to spawn the SJWs of today.

..oh shit. I just remembered... never make a weapon you wouldn't want used against yourself.

I made it.. my generation created the SJW to inflict damage into corporations, into corrupt culture... but it all went fucked.... it all went to shit... the SJWs were out of control... now they're destroying everything.

Politics - How Democrats Used To Protest - FSM Statue.png

So now... now in these days... I am a conservative... like my friends and family that I ripped away... but I can't even face them like this... even when I can finally see from their eyes, even when I want to tell them... "You were right." ... I can't. Because this is my hell. I'm trapped in a hell where I will never have a family or friends and it's my own fault because I was too stupid to see beyond the hate... hatred of my self... it's not autophobia... it's not that I fear myself... it's because... I HATE MYSELF!

That's why I can't succeed... that's why I keep failing again and again and again... that's why I can never escape... because I hate myself.

How... how do I stop hating myself? Please... can you all help me? I really... I do need help... I need to know how to stop hating myself... because, if I do stop hating myself... I'll remember how much more I HATE YOU! How much do I hate you? How much... I hate you so much that if I were a God I would sacrifice all of my power to create an eternal hell to put you in... I would literally OBLITERATE AN ENTIRE FUCKING REALITY to create a hell to put you in.

...and I won't stop... I'm going to keep hunting you... for never.... I'll find you, never. I'll never stop searching for never. For never. For never and ever more, Fornever more... or... I can see your reflection in hell... I can't see your reality directly, but I can see your reality through reflections... don't look in the mirrors... that's where I'm at... I'm inside the mirrors... the dark areas of the room, in the mirror... that's where I am... where I'm waiting... to kill you... to kill time...

*headshot*

How much of your time did I just kill?
 
  • Lunacy
  • Autistic
  • Dumb
Reactions: Angry Shoes, Pineapple Fox, IAmNotAlpharius and 9 others
If you have nothing to lose since you hate yourself, why not reach out and apologize u tard? It seems like you’re addicted to self pity instead, no sympathy from me. Act on what you want for your life instead of writing this sad wall of text. Best regards.
 
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Reactions: Dork Of Ages
Tinky Winky is the oldest one and functions as the paternal figure, but he also faces the complex struggle of being an openly gay paternal figure which was fairly uncharted territory for the 90s. He worries that the other Teletubbies will see him as less of a man due to his sexuality.

Dipsy is the only black member of the Teletubbies and the most rebellious of the group. He faces the pressure of being the sole representative of the black community on the show, so he tries to make sure he always has the most hip dance moves and the latest fashion with his black and white hat that many have mistaken for a pimp hat. Again remember this is the 90s and the black and white cow print was very fashionable as it was all over Gateway computers. He tries to make himself seem "cool" by not always going with the consensus of the rest of the group.

Laa-Laa functions as the mom of the group who tries to help the other Teletubbies with their various problems, but in doing so she fails to deal with her own problems, masking her own struggles with depression and feelings of inadequacy as a result. She instead hides behind the never ending sunshine provided by the smiling baby in the sky. Watching Laa-Laa on the show actually is triggering for me as I was previously in a relationship with a woman who exhibited very similar behavior.

Po, like Dipsy, is there as the sole representative of the minority community, in her case the Asian community. She will show her native Chinese pride by stating Cantonese phrases mixed with the Teletubbies' weird dialect of English while riding her scooter. Her scooter represents her desire to be different and more tomboyish than Laa-Laa-Laa. She is also the youngest and functions as a little sister to the group, but sometimes she doesn't particularly want to revert to this behavior, but she does so anyways due to her crush on Tinky Winky, who does not reciprocate due to his homosexuality.

They also have the vacuum cleaner, Noo-Noo who functions as the straight man of the group. Noo-Noo does not talk but often rolls its eyes at the Teletubbies' various antics, knowing that many of their nonsensical antics such as their weird oddly sexual dance routines and their love for the pink slime known as "Tubby Custard" are really just acts they put on to hide their issues. Said dances are the ways they worship their baby sun god who laughs in approval. As a result of their issues, instead of thinking for themselves they listen to an unnamed narrator who directs their daily lives.

The show really has compelling content if you look beneath the surface of it being a silly kids show. The only thing that really brings it down are the excruciatingly boring videos with the real children, which have nothing to do with the plot of the show and also have to be shown twice for some reason. Even in this part, however, more details on the social dynamics of the Teletubbies can be revealed-whichever Teletubby is chosen to show the video on their screen becomes instantly excited, even though they have the worst view of the video since they have to watch it upside down looking directly down. This just shows their need for competition and to constantly one up each other, certainly not the happy blissful alien creatures living in perfect harmony that the show leads you to believe initially.
 
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