You'll never believe what happened at the pagan gang bang!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-4812110/Man-dies-medical-incident-sex-festival-Kent.html

A man in his 50s was found dead today and a woman was rushed to hospital from a controversial sex festival held in woodland in Kent.

The man was pronounced dead this morning and the woman was airlifted from the site of Flamefest, which took place over the weekend near Royal Tunbridge Wells.

Clean-up teams are said to have discovered a barbecue in a tent where the couple were found as they cleared the site following the three-day 'kink rave'.

 

[Positron]

Around 250 people paid up to £600 to attend the weekend-long festival

That's a lot of money for cheap whores.

 

[Ariel]

That's a lot of money for cheap whores.

If Gandalf can afford a long velvet cloak, he can afford some cheap whores at a sex festival.

 

[POWER IN MISERY]

if they didn't find the guy looking like this i'll be disappointed.

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

This is why sexual congress must be performed in the missionary position, no greater than once a week, through a sheet, for the sole purpose of procreation within the confines of marriage, while a priest watches and takes notes.

 

[CatParty]

 

[Cthulu]

This is why sexual congress must be performed in the missionary position, no greater than once a week, through a sheet, for the sole purpose of procreation within the confines of marriage, while a priest watches and takes notes.

Fuck that

 

[neverendingmidi]

By barbeque, do they mean they had food, or that they were burning charcoal inside an enclosed area like the morons they apparently were?

Carbon monoxide's a bitch.

 

[Sexy Potoo]

That is going to be an awkward funeral for the rest of the family

 

[Alec Benson Leary]

Fuck that

Exactly the attitude that got these people in trouble.

 

[Yaks]

If Gandalf can afford a long velvet cloak, he can afford some cheap whores at a sex festival.

You know Gandalf got all the unshaven armpit poon he could at the festival.

By barbeque, do they mean they had food, or that they were burning charcoal inside an enclosed area like the morons they apparently were?

Carbon monoxide's a bitch.

The article says "
He said: 'We heard at about 6am this morning the helicopter flying over. We heard at the beginning it was two ladies who had died of carbon monoxide poisoning.

'We've since been told it was a man in his 50s and a young woman. We don't know for sure. It's so sad.

'Maybe they were cold and put a stove in their tent or something? That's all we know. The police have been there all morning.'"

There isn't much more. They definitely carbon monoxided themselves, though.

 

[Slowboat to China]

Worst LARP ever.

 

[Positron]

There isn't much more. They definitely carbon monoxided themselves, though.

Circle 6 Conjugation spell: Cloudkill.

 

[The Great Chandler]

Weirdos.

 

[XYZpdq]

This is why you keep SCA members, airsoft geeks, and other people who know how to go out in the woods without immediately dying as part of your nerd entourage.

 

[Fareal]

I don't know if we britkiwis will ever be able to explain to the rest of you how funny it is that this perv orgy rave festival happened in Tunbridge fucking Wells.

 

[Caddchef]

If you're going to die at an orgy, go for massive rectal trauma like a man rather than carbon monoxide poisoning like a pussy!

 

[captn_kettle]

I bet the orgy was fucking in-tents.

I wonder if the body was found stiff, or if the viagra had worn off by then.

 

[Echo_Ender]

Events like this are how new, more dangerous strains of STDs are created.