Your idea of family - What in your opinion constitutes a family

[Monika H.]

Hallo, hallo!!!

With the social progress of the last years, we are witnessing the boom of the so-called alternative families.
Couples not formally married, married couples without children, LGBT parents, etc.

Over dinner I discussed this with my wife and her sister - we share a two-floors house divided in two "apartments", but we often eat together and my sister-in-law spends as much time in our part of the house as we do in hers. Talking about this, my wife said that "informally" we are a family, since by being married to her I am legally related with her sister, and we are living all together in a house we legally own. Plus, we are all very close to each other - and actually I am almost closer to my sister-in-law than my biological sisters.
I think I agree with that, although someone may argue that the absence of children doesn't make a family.

What are your thoughts on the matter?
Is a family recognized only when there are two parents and children, or other "unusual situations" can be seen as such?
Can you bring examples and situations?
Kiwis, share your opinions.

 

[IV 445]

Anything that helps me fulfill my dream

Which is growing old with you <3

 

[Silence of the Troons]

Just me and my totally not actually adult seventeen year old boytoy from Afghanistan UwU

In all seriousness, I agree with the definition your sister gave. It is fully possible to feel like you have stronger bonds of family with someone you may not be related to by blood but live with and/or see on a regular basis than a blood-related family member which you cannot tolerate or have very little contact with. That being said, I personally feel like a childless couple doesn't quite give off as strong "family" vibes as a couple with one or multiple child/ren or even a single parent and their child/ren.

 

[Red Hood]

Family comes in two varieties:

There's your blood kin, whom you're required to tolerate for the occasional meal unless they royally fuck up and you disown them. And there's the people that stand by you when the chips are down, whether you're related by blood/marriage or not.

Let's slap that on a cringey t-shirt with a skull or something now.

 

[Prussian Blue]

I think me and @Desire Lines are doing a fine job of bringing @Hell0 up to be a productive member of society

 

[Monika H.]

Just me and my totally not actually adult seventeen year old boytoy from Afghanistan UwU
View attachment 502176
In all seriousness, I agree with the definition your sister gave. It is fully possible to feel like you have stronger bonds of family with someone you may not be related to by blood but live with and/or see on a regular basis than a blood-related family member which you cannot tolerate or have very little contact with. That being said, I personally feel like a childless couple doesn't quite give off as strong "family" vibes as a couple with one or multiple child/ren or even a single parent and their child/ren.

That what I feel, sort of.
We have always stuck up for each other, and we have the kind of relationship that if one of us is down or facing issues, the other two do their best to support and help. And we have dealed with a fair amount of very rough stuff in the last years, so that's what convinces me it's a genuine bond and not a fair weather thing.

 

[Okkervils]

Family is just people you aren't allowed to fuck.

 

[Nekromantik]

My husband's side of the family could be seen a strange. I have 3 father in laws. His father and mother married, got divorced, got married to someone else again, and divorced again, but still remained friends. So we have my FIL, my husband's first step father, and he parents that he calls Oma and Opa, and his now step father and they all get along as family. This isn't counting the 6 brothers and 1 sister that my FIL has.

So we all get together sometimes for family outings. So it's me, my husband, my MIL, her now husband, my FIL, first step dad, Oma and Opa, my husband's half brother, and when she was still alive my huband's grandmother. One time my FIL and MIL were joking with each other and the waitress asked how long have you been married. FIL looks at her with a stupid big grin and says "We've been divorced over 30 years. And that's my ex mother in law, and that's the other ex husband, and that the now husband." The waitress laughed but gave him kind of a weird look. He said "It's not weird it's family, and it's not family unless it's weird." And I agree.

Every Christmas we get a card form his step father and a Hanukkah/Christmas card from Oma and Opa. We're all family. There doesn't need to be the tie of marriage or blood, just love. Now I need to stop being all sappy and shit.

 

[Frogasm]

Nuclear families are nice, but not everyone ends up with one. i don't see nuclear families as the be-all end-all.

in the end, based on personal experience, I must say that the family you build for yourself with hard work and love is just as good as if not better than the family you are given at birth.

I'll keep my own circumstances to myself, but I've met a lot of kids who have been kicked out of their families for coming out as queer to their parents/grandparents. It's hell for them. They end up in gay community centers with nothing but what they can carry and a mountain of trauma and build new families for themselves from the ground up. My pride in the friendships and families they make is endless.

 

[Cthulu]

I think me and @Desire Lines are doing a fine job of bringing @Hell0 up to be a productive member of society

Not. Teach him to stop playing with his socks. Smfh

 

[Gus]

Family is who fulfills that role. Good, caring, consistent people whose lives are deeply ingrained into yours.

 

[RG 448]

Family is one mother, one father, one son, one daughter, and one father’s mistress. Anything else is a bastardization of nature.

 

[Nekromantik]

Family is one mother, one father, one son, one daughter, and one father’s mistress. Anything else is a bastardization of nature.

Ha ha ha! I just found out my grandfather cheated on my grandmother their whole marriage and she knew. When my mom confronted her about it, my grandmother said "That's just how it is, I stayed with him because that's a good wife." NO! HA HA ha ha! I'll stick with my in laws.

 

[Mr. Poker in the Front Liquor in the Rear]

I believe that society has became depraved from the 1950's style culture that America flourished in. Now one out of four homes in America is broken. Our children have no guidance, and no sense of family.


My Father raised us in a 1950's manner. I always thought that was normal until I visited a friends house one day for dinner and saw how they lived. They didn't respect their parents. Never did as they were told. Kept their rooms a mess. Never helped out around the house and worse of all back talked their parents. If I ever tried any of that at my house my Father would make me go outside and find a switch to bring to him and he would switch my legs all to hell. I was always taught to respect my elders especially men who were much older then me.


Anyway, what I am trying to say is that there is no such thing as "traditional family values" anymore. It's very unfortunate.

 

[Johnny Bravo]

If you would run into a burning building to save them and they would do the same for you they're family.

 

[Prussian Blue]

Not. Teach him to stop playing with his socks. Smfh

He may have more socks than brain cells, but he's got our goku get 'em attitude and dedication

 

[Xetzyr]

This kid knows the score...

 

[Teri-Teri]

A family that can respect, understand, love, and work together; they support and collaborate with one another.

 

[Russian Civil War]

The ideal family is a wife, a husband and his wife’s son.

 

[BerriesArnold]

I guess a good idea of family is living in rapport with those around you. I rather live in a home full of strangers who support and motivate me, listen to my ideas and push me to my best potential. People like that will always be family, in my book.