Michael Anthony Janke / Mike Janke - Father of Isabella, Former Navy SEAL Team Four and Six Member - Ridiculously wealthy; has founded or been a part of seven different data privacy-focused start-ups

[hamsters are cool]

Daddy Jankee

Spoiler: Daddy Jankee

 

[Black Simp Bellamy]

So Mike Janke is on his (hope I got his pronouns right) way to becoming a True And Honest Woman? The Merge is truly happening.

I can't wait to see her brave and stunning performance of "It's raining men" on broadway in five years time.

An inspiration to us all.

Daddy Jankee

Now, now, lets not misgender anyone here.

 

[Lord of the Large Pants]

I have an autistic but serious question that's probably been asked and answered multiple times already. If all other possibilities for removing this subforum are exhausted, what are the odds that this guy will send a bunch of his glowie friends to gently encourage Null to shoot himself twice in the back of the head? Or at least remove his kneecaps?

 

[Black Simp Bellamy]

I have an autistic but serious question that's probably been asked and answered multiple times already. If all other possibilities for removing this subforum are exhausted, what are the odds that this guy will send a bunch of his glowie friends to gently encourage Null to shoot himself twice in the back of the head? Or at least remove his kneecaps?

Very low if Null has a car, he just has to run them over, that's all he's gotta do.

 

[DiggieSmalls]

I have an autistic but serious question that's probably been asked and answered multiple times already. If all other possibilities for removing this subforum are exhausted, what are the odds that this guy will send a bunch of his glowie friends to gently encourage Null to shoot himself twice in the back of the head? Or at least remove his kneecaps?

How do you blackmail a man who has no respectability?

 

[Steely Dan]

After seeing the request from the (allegedly) wiretapping fraud lawyer you hired, go fuck yourself you glowie sack of shit. No amount of money in the world can fix your low IQ psychopathic fungaloid retard offspring.. ILJ is a living, breathing example of you being an abject failure at being a father, and in the unlikelihood that you read this, you know that deep down in your heart. (I would say soul but no one that works for the CIA has a soul and will burn in Hell)

You may have millions of dollars, you may be a walking version of the Navy Seal copypasta, you may have all the business success in the world; but you have plainly, and objectively, FAILED at raising a daughter. I hope that eats away at you for the rest of your life, knowing that ILJ will be attached to you like an albatross until you're a decrepit old man. That you'll have to give her some brainless position at one of your companies because nobody with a shred of business acumen would hire her, even to flip burgers at McDonald's because she's such a moron.

Go get ran over by a car, you glow in the dark nigger faggot.

 

[Spedophile]

There are psychos who can manipulate their own parents, even competent ones. Especially if it's a situation where her parents are too busy to pay attention to what she's up to.


The recruiting process needs to go back to the way it was during Vietnam. Nobody should be able to set out to become a SEAL. They should have to prove themselves in the regular military first, then the SEALs approach them. Invitation only. Some changes have been made fairly recently to keep the wrong kind of crazy people out. For example, in the early 2010s, candidates were forbidden from applying for SEAL training right out of basic. Now there's a two year minimum of experience in the Navy or Marines. Potential SEALs usually end up in SWCC teams (the people who insert and extract SEALs on boats) and underwater demolitions first. It has cut back on training deaths and hopefully will reduce the number of loose cannons who create more terrorists, like Tim Gallagher and Chris Kyle.

I think you mean Eddie Gallagher (just to help other folks look the dude up)

 

[FFinfo]

After seeing the request from the (allegedly) wiretapping fraud lawyer you hired, go fuck yourself you glowie sack of shit. No amount of money in the world can fix your low IQ psychopathic fungaloid retard offspring.. ILJ is a living, breathing example of you being an abject failure at being a father, and in the unlikelihood that you read this, you know that deep down in your heart. (I would say soul but no one that works for the CIA has a soul and will burn in Hell)

You may have millions of dollars, you may be a walking version of the Navy Seal copypasta, you may have all the business success in the world; but you have plainly, and objectively, FAILED at raising a daughter. I hope that eats away at you for the rest of your life, knowing that ILJ will be attached to you like an albatross until you're a decrepit old man. That you'll have to give her some brainless position at one of your companies because nobody with a shred of business acumen would hire her, even to flip burgers at McDonald's because she's such a moron.

Go get ran over by a car, you glow in the dark nigger faggot.

I know people have done the "A tree is known by its fruit" thing in the Vickers thread at least, but the same somewhat applies here, I think: Part of why the Janke clan wants to sweep this under the rug so much is because this surpasses the sort of professional embarrassment that simple incompetence might produce.
Mike can be as rich as he wants to be; he can be an accomplished military professional, a startup investor, etc. but only a select few people are so teflon slick that familial drama slides off of them. Mike here isn't running for president: His daughter being a disgusting (literally) idiot that boils pets for fun is a testament that his material wealth just can't wash off. The sum total of his and partner's physical being and his self-professed greatest accomplishment is an inferior human. When your kids are fuckups, it grates on you because the first thing everybody thinks, especially when you go as bad as Bella has as young as she has is that it must be the parents' fault. Mike has more than enough money for Bella to live out the rest of her days without ever wanting for anything: That's not why Mike cares. He cares because Bella's notoriety will always label him a low-quality man in that he produces low-quality offspring. It's the same reason Ralph immediately shot for a second chance with a different woman after getting Faith pregnant only resulted in him being clowned on.
Mike's only child and only hope of having grandchildren is now plastered onto the internet as being a gross, malicious idiot that nobody in their right mind will touch with a 10 foot pole, and even internet-oblivious people will, thanks to Bella fucking around with the hornets' nest of autists that is CWC, be contacted, reminded, and bothered by Christorian spergs for at least a decade to come. And he has nobody to blame but himself.

 

[Mendicant]

Mike's only child and only hope of having grandchildren is now plastered onto the internet as being a gross, malicious idiot that nobody in their right mind will touch with a 10 foot pole, and even internet-oblivious people will, thanks to Bella fucking around with the hornets' nest of autists that is CWC, be contacted, reminded, and bothered by Christorian spergs for at least a decade to come. And he has nobody to blame but himself.

I really ponder what he thinks of the incest angle. Somewhere, in Mike Janke's mind, is the question "does my daughter's intense interest in incest imply that my daughter wants to fuck me?"

Truly horrific. Even though he is a SEAL sniper, and has absolutely killed lots of people, I do still feel for him. He is being totally outflanked by this, he doesn't know if all the shoes have dropped yet.

 

[Cowpoleon]

Mike failed at being a parent and his “greatest accomplishment” has shown to be a retarded, fungal ridden psychopath who shuts the floor.

Imagine being a narcissist and learning your child shits their pants, shits on the floor, got themself doxxed, and kills animals. That’s a huge ego blow. He’s just gonna keep getting ego blows the older Bella gets because she’s most likely never going to get married and never have kids. The Janke line ends with Bella. That’s a huge blow for a narcissistic parent.

 

[Mendicant]

Mike failed at being a parent and his “greatest accomplishment” has shown to be a retarded, fungal ridden psychopath who shuts the floor.

Imagine being a narcissist and learning your child shits their pants, shits on the floor, got themself doxxed, and kills animals. That’s a huge ego blow. He’s just gonna keep getting ego blows the older Bella gets because she’s most likely never going to get married and never have kids. The Janke line ends with Bella. That’s a huge blow for a narcissistic parent.

Yes, he failed, but I don't think he has made more mistakes than other millions of martial fathers before him. Its a story as old as time: the father away on campaign.

Odysseus, away at the trojan war, his son Telemachus raised by his wife and servants.

 

[GumballFapper]

Imagine being a narcissist and learning your child shits their pants, shits on the floor, got themself doxxed, and kills animals. That’s a huge ego blow. He’s just gonna keep getting ego blows the older Bella gets because she’s most likely never going to get married and never have kids. The Janke line ends with Bella. That’s a huge blow for a narcissistic parent.

I think Bella inherited her narcissism from her mother, not her father

Athena:
- photoshops the hell out of her pics to look 30 despite being 60
- can't shut up about being a "harvard graduate" despite the fact that she studied in Harvard extension school
- literally calls herself "Goddess" in her usernames

Mike doesn't seem like a overt narcissist to me, sure, he loves writing books about himself and presenting himself in front of the camera but Athena is 1000% more nuts

 

[CumDumpster]

Mike doesn't seem like a overt narcissist to me, sure, he loves writing books about himself and presenting himself in front of the camera but Athena is 1000% more nuts

Mike, though is made of money thanks to his jobs in web-services and was a Navy seal (I suspect he's responsible for that famous copypasta).
Speaking of feds, the site's getting DDoSed again. I wonder if the FBI has anything to do with this one? There's possibility that it's feds again with that rally in DC having no attendance (aside from news and feds) yesterday.

 

[AnOminous]

Truly horrific. Even though he is a SEAL sniper, and has absolutely killed lots of people, I do still feel for him. He is being totally outflanked by this, he doesn't know if all the shoes have dropped yet.

I assume if he was a SEAL sniper most or all of the people he killed more or less needed killing.

 

[Mendicant]

I assume if he was a SEAL sniper most or all of the people he killed more or less needed killing.

Yeah, but it does make him less of a sympathetic figure. Alotta families lost sons and husbands by his hand, there could be dozens of iraqi families who would be really happy to find out that their son's killer is having trouble with his mushroom.

 

[FFinfo]

I think Bella inherited her narcissism from her mother, not her father

Athena:
- photoshops the hell out of her pics to look 30 despite being 60
- can't shut up about being a "harvard graduate" despite the fact that she studied in Harvard extension school
- literally calls herself "Goddess" in her usernames

Mike doesn't seem like a overt narcissist to me, sure, he loves writing books about himself and presenting himself in front of the camera but Athena is 1000% more nuts

IIRC extension school degreees do require you visit the campus for a semester and their degrees don't specify you did an extension school program so I'd probably milk that too

 

[Laramorga]

Mike, though is made of money thanks to his jobs in web-services and was a Navy seal (I suspect he's responsible for that famous copypasta).
Speaking of feds, the site's getting DDoSed again. I wonder if the FBI has anything to do with this one? There's possibility that it's feds again with that rally in DC having no attendance (aside from news and feds) yesterday.

I get that the feds have done some petty shit in the past, but you guys are really reaching if you actually think that the feds are fucking with an obscure drama forum because of what it said about a former navy seal's retarded daughter. It's more than likely just another weirdo tech geek who knows a bit more about ddosing compared to your average furry tranny that's mad at the forum. I don't even think daddy Janke here has anything to do with the attacks. He probably saw what was being said about his daughter and just told her "well, you're a fucking moron. You'd better lawyer up and see if they'll take it down cause that's all you can really do at this point."

 

[AnOminous]

Yeah, but it does make him less of a sympathetic figure.

Not to me. What makes me less sympathetic is what he's done subsequently. Honorable military service taking out motherfuckers who would kill me and my family if they got the chance is fine with me.

 

[DawnDusk]

As the listing shows, the mansion is pending a sale for the last six days. I would have presumed that a rich couple like Mike and Mary Beth had already taken up residence in a new accommodation before selling, but Mary Beth's appearance on FOX News about the Petito homicide took place in Mike's office room.

 

[Michael Janke]

its weird how someone who may as well be an American Ubermensch produced such an inferior human being,