The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[AprilRains]

are you sure it's just not schizophrenic word salad?

I';m not sure. Who's sure? But given the speed with which she pulled down the tweet, I'd say she got caught with her hand in the ritual sacrifice jar.

 

[The Silent Perjority]

Sorry guys but you're all still overthinking this, she's a fraud, just like Kevin.

All these histrionics is her performing. Somebody said perhaps she only had passing interaction with the parents of the kids she nannied, no effing way! If you're a parent of 2 small children you do not hardly interact with the person who is caring for your kids all day for years, you find out everything you can about them.

I say again, if every little thought or event sent her into these spirals in reality she could never have coped with the child caring.
The reason she is waving her tits and ticks all over twitter is because she wants to be seen as the maddest frog in the box.

No doubt she'll still cause grief at the tranch cos she loves the attention but this isn't real skitzing, she's in the spotlight here and lapping it up.

She's a fucking weirdo but she's not a genuine nutter, she could not have got this far if everyday was a different syndrome.

 

[candle tiger]

I';m not sure. Who's sure? But given the speed with which she pulled down the tweet, I'd say she got caught with her hand in the ritual sacrifice jar.

I'm almost certain this owl is the roadkill she talked about scraping from the side of the road. Lord knows I see enough dead raptors by the side of the road where I live.

 

[AprilRains]

Sorry guys but you're all still overthinking this, she's a fraud, just like Kevin.

All these histrionics is her performing. Somebody said perhaps she only had passing interaction with the parents of the kids she nannied, no effing way! If you're a parent of 2 small children you do not hardly interact with the person who is caring for your kids all day for years, you find out everything you can about them.

I say again, if every little thought or event sent her into these spirals in reality she could never have coped with the child caring.
The reason she is waving her tits and ticks all over twitter is because she wants to be seen as the maddest frog in the box.

No doubt she'll still cause grief at the tranch cos she loves the attention but this isn't real skitzing, she's in the spotlight here and lapping it up.

I'll say it again, she's a fucking weirdo but she's not a genuine nutter, she could not have got this far if everyday was a different syndrome.

"Got this far"? Did I miss something, or did she ditch a low-end nanny job in favor of hanging out at a failing ranch?

I'm almost certain this owl is the roadkill she talked about scraping from the side of the road. Lord knows I see enough dead raptors by the side of the road where I live.

Okay, she's still a psycho but at least she's not killing owls needlessly.

 

[Taylor Swift's Ghostwrite]

Sorry guys but you're all still overthinking this, she's a fraud, just like Kevin.

All these histrionics is her performing. Somebody said perhaps she only had passing interaction with the parents of the kids she nannied, no effing way! If you're a parent of 2 small children you do not hardly interact with the person who is caring for your kids all day for years, you find out everything you can about them.

I say again, if every little thought or event sent her into these spirals in reality she could never have coped with the child caring.
The reason she is waving her tits and ticks all over twitter is because she wants to be seen as the maddest frog in the box.

No doubt she'll still cause grief at the tranch cos she loves the attention but this isn't real skitzing, she's in the spotlight here and lapping it up.

She's a fucking weirdo but she's not a genuine nutter, she could not have got this far if everyday was a different syndrome.

As far as we know she is currently unemployed, dating a failure of a man and rancher who is actually married to someone else, and begging for money online for rent while she leaves her pets unattended to hang out at the Tranch. As far as I can tell she hasn't made it much of anywhere. I still think she started on drugs at some point and that is contributing to her behavior, so she also likely has gotten a lot worse than she used to be.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

I could be wrong (I know this applies to eagle parts specifically, but hazy on whether it extends to other birds of prey), but isn't having live or dead/parts of birds of prey illegal in America without special permits or being a registered member of a Native American tribe? Would love some insight from someone more well-versed in this stuff; the Migratory Bird Treaty Act is the part I would think applies here, but idk if owls are considered raptors.

I know a roadkill owl is probably low on the government's list of concerns, but it'd be funny to have that just another legally questionable thing documented on this tard's twitter for the world to see (alongside the stealing from her ex-employer and potentially mixing weed, guns, and crazy).

 

[Let Monsters Fuck]

I'm almost certain this owl is the roadkill she talked about scraping from the side of the road. Lord knows I see enough dead raptors by the side of the road where I live.

This dumb bitch. Someone probably reminded her that what she’s doing is highly illegal on the federal level. According to the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, it’s illegal to kill, capture, or possess a raptor (living or dead), or any pieces (including feathers) unless you have a permit or fall under some of the Native American exceptions. Fines and prison time vary.

edit: sniped by @BoobWhiskers but yes, owls are raptors

 

[Miss Misery]

Apparently the ritual Kindness Bony Pancake was contemplating involved the ritual sacrifice of an owl:

View attachment 2556750

She has since deleted this tweet. Perhaps these psychos finally got some pushback.

I can think of so sensible reason to kill an owl on a ranch. They keep the vermin down. This is straight up insanity.

That would be the roadkill she collected. It is highly illegal for anyone to have any part of nearly any type of wild bird, even feathers, in the US unless they are Native and have an eagle permit.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Migratory_Bird_Treaty_Act_of_1918

It's not just raptors. It's a LOT of bird species. A lot more than you realize: https://www.fws.gov/birds/management/managed-species/migratory-bird-treaty-act-protected-species.php

Edit: Ninja'd by everyone. Ah well.

Edit again: Natives are supposed to get their bird parts from repositories (eagles come from the Feds, other birds come from licensed nonprofits). Scraping an owl off the road is... a grey area. Once it's in your possession then you're okay but if you were caught harvesting it then there might be an issue.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Oh good, nice to know my instincts were correct.

Inb4 we see 'Bonnie is .00001% (Peruvian) native so it's okay', 'my headmate is native' or a redux of the Bone Witch scandal of Golden Age Tumblr.

Edit: on a side note, I know this crazy bitch tweets machinegun style, but can we please archive when she's literally admitting to illegal shit?

 

[Miss Misery]

Oh good, nice to know my instincts were correct.

Inb4 we see 'Bonnie is .00001% (Peruvian) native so it's okay', 'my headmate is native' or a redux of the Bone Witch scandal of Golden Age Tumblr.

Edit: on a side note, I know this crazy bitch tweets machinegun style, but can we please archive when she's literally admitting to illegal shit?

Doesn't matter. You still need a permit from the feds which requires enrollment in a federally recognized tribe (and the application has to have a signature from the tribal chairman/chief proving your membership.)

No Pretendians allowed.

smugly strokes her eagle feathers

 

[AssignedEva]

I know not many people follow Jarrod (I have an interest since he's the one with simmering psycho rage and all his natural testosterone) but his dumb permaculture project is apparently moving into the next phase. I say dumb not because permaculture is dumb but because he's trying to do it on Mordor-but-drier.

Mushroom growing isn't actually a bad idea, he's presumably planning to buy some mushroom dowels and hammer them into logs. Honestly one of your better ideas, Jarrod, although I don't think any of the tranchers' palettes will accommodate shiitake or oyster mushrooms. He's sadly not growing magic mushrooms as those don't grow on logs. A shame, as that would have been a great saga. You need to keep them in a cool but damp place (like a forest) so not a perfect match for the surrounding environment but I guess he can keep them watered (but, like, with a lot of water).

Spoiler: Full image

I'm not familiar with growing in Colorado's hardiness region or some of these plants. IIRC they've only got a growing season of 60 days and are in USDA Hardiness Zone 5a. Kiwifarmers with more experience please feel free to correct me.

Spoiler: plant sperging

Chard is easy to grow as long as it's in rich soil that stays damp but not wet. It can also handle being in containers, so I guess that's the only way it's getting that sort of soil. Same deal with mustard and I'm assuming collard greens. Thyme is, well, thyme, so it doesn't matter too much how well it grows because you'll have enough to use as herbs although it might end up as an annual. I'd say the same with what looks like basil, although it might be spinach (in which case yeah, that'll probably be fine).

Cantaloupes are fussy and have a long growing season, so I'm pretty sure any attempts to farm it at that elevation is asking for frost to wreck the harvest. Tomatoes can also be kinda fussy and I struggle to get them to ripen properly in what's essentially USDA Zone 9. The pumpkins and butternut squash will be alright with some mild frosts but unless they're basically already ripe by October they'll be fucked.

You might get away with the strawberries, though, if you have a cold hardy variety and plant them out at the right time (I've never tried growing them from seed).

Huckleberries I've never encountered but I understand they grow in Colorado where they're basically a forest floor plant (which means, much like the mushroom logs, they're in the wrong area - I think Jarrod might be a bit over optimistic from his mountain hikes). Oats and quinoa I've never grown but I imagine would grow ok, but he'd have to thresh them. That's not exactly the most practical option.

tl;dr I think he's gone for too many "sexy" plants. He can probably grow some stuff in containers with compost and/or under glass, but it isn't any different from what you could achieve in a suburban back garden. The stuff he probably should focus on growing probably isn't the stuff the tranchers would want to eat.
The other tweets are largely irrelevant. He's been hanging out with blade bimbo/666dirtwitch and interglacialpup - idk if they're residents or not - and actually made an unappetizing but potentially not-all-that terrible dinner.

Spoiler: Could this be... healthy? (that better not be a bay leaf left in)

He also posted his book collection for perusal, it's mostly communist theory and horticulture how-tos, but with a couple of other things thrown in like Earthsea and a biography of Oscar Wilde.

Spoiler: Books

Maybe lend Kevin the Kafka book, Jarrod? He might need a new word to describe his living conditions.

If Bonnie (likely) has an impregnation fetish, fucking yes we should. If not it's him being gross. As long as Alyssa is there, I'm concerned.

Didn't Bonnie have the snip?

 

[Miss Misery]

I know not many people follow Jarrod (I have an interest since he's the one with simmering psycho rage and all his natural testosterone) but his dumb permaculture project is apparently moving into the next phase. I say dumb not because permaculture is dumb but because he's trying to do it on Mordor-but-drier.
View attachment 2557021
Mushroom growing isn't actually a bad idea, he's presumably planning to buy some mushroom dowels and hammer them into logs. Honestly one of your better ideas, Jarrod, although I don't think any of the tranchers' palettes will accommodate shiitake or oyster mushrooms. He's sadly not growing magic mushrooms as those don't grow on logs. A shame, as that would have been a great saga. You need to keep them in a cool but damp place (like a forest) so not a perfect match for the surrounding environment but I guess he can keep them watered (but, like, with a lot of water).
View attachment 2557038

Spoiler: Full image

View attachment 2557039

I'm not familiar with growing in Colorado's hardiness region or some of these plants. IIRC they've only got a growing season of 60 days and are in USDA Hardiness Zone 5a. Kiwifarmers with more experience please feel free to correct me.

Spoiler: plant sperging

Chard is easy to grow as long as it's in rich soil that stays damp but not wet. It can also handle being in containers, so I guess that's the only way it's getting that sort of soil. Same deal with mustard and I'm assuming collard greens. Thyme is, well, thyme, so it doesn't matter too much how well it grows because you'll have enough to use as herbs although it might end up as an annual. I'd say the same with what looks like basil, although it might be spinach (in which case yeah, that'll probably be fine).

Cantaloupes are fussy and have a long growing season, so I'm pretty sure any attempts to farm it at that elevation is asking for frost to wreck the harvest. Tomatoes can also be kinda fussy and I struggle to get them to ripen properly in what's essentially USDA Zone 9. The pumpkins and butternut squash will be alright with some mild frosts but unless they're basically already ripe by October they'll be fucked.

You might get away with the strawberries, though, if you have a cold hardy variety and plant them out at the right time (I've never tried growing them from seed).

Huckleberries I've never encountered but I understand they grow in Colorado where they're basically a forest floor plant (which means, much like the mushroom logs, they're in the wrong area - I think Jarrod might be a bit over optimistic from his mountain hikes). Oats and quinoa I've never grown but I imagine would grow ok, but he'd have to thresh them. That's not exactly the most practical option.

tl;dr I think he's gone for too many "sexy" plants. He can probably grow some stuff in containers with compost and/or under glass, but it isn't any different from what you could achieve in a suburban back garden. The stuff he probably should focus on growing probably isn't the stuff the tranchers would want to eat.
The other tweets are largely irrelevant. He's been hanging out with blade bimbo/666dirtwitch and interglacialpup - idk if they're residents or not - and actually made an unappetizing but potentially not-all-that terrible dinner.

Spoiler: Could this be... healthy? (that better not be a bay leaf left in)

View attachment 2557138

He also posted his book collection for perusal, it's mostly communist theory and horticulture how-tos, but with a couple of other things thrown in like Earthsea and a biography of Oscar Wilde.

Spoiler: Books

View attachment 2557140

Maybe lend Kevin the Kafka book, Jarrod? He might need a new word to describe his living conditions.

Didn't Bonnie have the snip?

1. I hope he's sorting his seeds for next year. It's too late to plant anything up there now unless there's a hoop house or something. Even winter crops should have been sowed already.

2. You can't get tomatoes to ripen in zone 9? I'm in 7a with 120 days and our tomatoes do pretty damn well. Hell that's about the only thing that does well here.

3. Strawberries are a stupid choice. Even if they do okay, that's not a high yield crop that will feed a lot of people like squash or greens.

4. Yes, that is a bay leaf. Shame on him.

5. "Edible Forest Gardens". I think Jarrod has some serious delusions about where they live. Also circling back to the first image - there are scrub oaks all over the place in southern Colorado. Go out and look, lazy. Good luck finding one big enough for a log though. (Also you're not going to find a sugar maple that far west of the Mississippi, plant genius.)

Edit: Bigtooth maple is nearby-ish and related to sugar maple tho: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Acer_grandidentatum

Also I was under the impression that Bonnie had an orchi as well, but maybe I'm thinking of Pennywise?

Edit 2: Here you go Jarrod. A stand of scrub oak 30 minutes from the tranch. https://goo.gl/maps/QiboTq6HcsEGS4yf7

 

[Cool Dog]

This dumb bitch. Someone probably reminded her that what she’s doing is highly illegal on the federal level. According to the Migratory Bird Treaty Act, it’s illegal to kill, capture, or possess a raptor (living or dead), or any pieces (including feathers) unless you have a permit or fall under some of the Native American exceptions. Fines and prison time vary.

edit: sniped by @BoobWhiskers but yes, owls are raptors

What if you are into falconry and shit? is that banned too?

 

[Gravy Seal]

What if you are into falconry and shit? is that banned too?

IIRC falconry laws vary by state, and most require permits (+ an apprenticeship period). Even then unless I'm mistaken the molted feathers from falconry birds are still in a gray area. I've never heard of a falconer being caught on the MBTA for feathers but I've heard about them being hit with the book for training the wrong species.

 

[MetalParakeet]

IIRC falconry laws vary by state, and most require permits (+ an apprenticeship period). Even then unless I'm mistaken the molted feathers from falconry birds are still in a gray area. I've never heard of a falconer being caught on the MBTA for feathers but I've heard about them being hit with the book for training the wrong species.

All I'm learning from this is that the ranch is legal in the usa but picking up a falcon feather is not.

Your country is fucking weird

 

[Cool Dog]

but I've heard about them being hit with the book for training the wrong species.

Like what? I remember a crazy chinese who had a golden eagle but afaik most species are not friendly

Whoever gets a crowned harpy eagle is gonna die

 

[Miss Misery]

The North American Falconers Association website might help answer questions: https://www.n-a-f-a.com/default.aspx

 

[AMHOLIO]

Getting a chick like this pregnant is the worst thing that could happen to everyone involved, and possibly, to all of America. They are irresponsible dipshits to ever EVER bang her bareback. She will be incredibly lucky if all she takes from the ranch is flamin' hot PID.

I'd take it a step down. Unless the child becomes a politician the most it would wreck is the people around it's live.

It's gonna be another disasterous munchie on the wellfare system tho.

No Pretendians allowed

Oh I wouldn't be surprised at all if Alyssa claims tribal connections or dna. Come on, do it, tell the government you're 9/40ths Cherokee.

Didn't Bonnie have the snip?

I am very sorry to inform you he did not and he has confirmed it. I can't tell you where the proof is but he did, I know it was on the troon cards a while back.

All I'm learning from this is that the ranch is legal in the usa but picking up a falcon feather is not.

Your country is fucking weird

What's illegal about the ranch? Currently we only have softer proof of animal abuse & neglect. Sure, they could be charged for that, but the police are spread thin and it is hard to relocate an alpaca heard. Unless you're shooting them for fun,torturing them, or confirmed fucking them, the law isn't going to intervene as much.

Troons making retarded decisions isn't illegal either, and troons in general have not all been assigned sped handlers or beaten for existing. That, however, is the price we pay for tolerance by the government and others. Troon rights pushback is only starting to pick up because there's enough kids being groomed, families being lied to, bold men dressed as women violating women's spas, and women's sports, ie, them fucking with the rights of others.

I'm all for the tranch getting arrested though. Whether it's weed and guns, a friendly/unfriendly fire incident, or my personal favorite, landing in trouble by trying to be a charity and business and fucking with taxes, I'm all for it.

 

[Let Monsters Fuck]

IIRC falconry laws vary by state, and most require permits (+ an apprenticeship period). Even then unless I'm mistaken the molted feathers from falconry birds are still in a gray area. I've never heard of a falconer being caught on the MBTA for feathers but I've heard about them being hit with the book for training the wrong species.

As you said, as far as I understand it it’s a grey area to possess feathers as a registered falconer. I know some keep molted wing and tail feathers to be used to repair damaged feathers on their birds.

Like what? I remember a crazy chinese who had a golden eagle but afaik most species are not friendly

Whoever gets a crowned harpy eagle is gonna die

depends on your level as a falconer. As an apprentice you’re only allowed to fly a red tail or a kestrel (I think this can also change depending on where you are). As a full-fledged falconer it’s different and you have wider range of birds you can fly.

all of this Migratory Bird Treaty Act stuff doesn’t apply to most non-endangers, non-indigenous species. It’s why you can totally and legally own parrots, or even vultures and ravens from other countries (or hybrids). Owning a harpy eagle is just asking to get seriously hurt.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Scraping an owl off the side of the road is definitely illegal and she could definitely get smacked with a big ol' fine and/or jail time if the local fish cops wanted to make an example of her. More likely she would be given a warning and told not to do that again.

It occurred to me that the tranchers would be in a better financial space with zero alpacas. Which semi-retarded degenerate keeps their books? Penny?