Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Gramlol]

Gah, I'm so sick of seeing her mouth open in her poses.
I wonder how much she was paid for this? $500?

It's so funny how her bad skin and new triple chins have lost her her best and only asset- a thin face. I wonder if she realises how she looks so much more unhealthy by her skin and weight gain.
The pandemic was messed up by how many people gained weight. but also how many people used the time to get in shape. Humans are weird in how they respond to times of crisis

 

[P. Barnes' THOT]

This is fucking stupid as Pam has always said she got hepatitis from sharing a tattoo needle with Tommy Lee Jones.

I think you mean Tommy Lee, not Tommy Lee Jones, lmao

 

[Tesshollidaysflupaknees]

Eff Your Beauty Standards, besides the photoshop that makes me look like I weigh 100 pounds less then I actually do! Tess has always been so insecure about her weight.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

"Display until November 22nd"
I have to see this dumpster fire on the stands for the next two months?

 

[NoReturn]

Fat Monkey
That funky Monkey
Fat Monkey junkie
That funky Monkey

She had a lot today. I wonder if people went on a hike without her and left her alone with the wifi.

Spoiler: More

 

[Oscar Winner]

So this is "the most iconic photoshoot of my (her) career"..? I'm a bit disappointed tbh. Considering it's Tess, I should have known she'd overhype it. Or was Barb Wire a big thing in the US and it's just me that doesn't get it?
I did a side by side of the unshopped video v's the cover photo for lols:

The more I look at this photo, the more I see. I'm glad she kept her signature mouth-breather look, and her 'beetus fingers didn't get shooped. How else would we know it's really her? lol

She's all wonky. Compare her left hip to her right hip. The distance from the wire in the bra cup to where it goes around her ribs, also her earring and neckline in relation to the shape of her jaw. The more you look, the more bizarre it gets.

Spoiler: Various unrelated shit

At the start of the month when she did the last fabletics drop, I mentioned she had vids in her stories of her 'working out' as part of it. Since God has not blessed me with the ability to screen record I only have caps. I thought it'd be nice to share the horrific hilarity.

Her face is red, but I legit think it's from having her legs elevated. She looked like a giant baby kicking around on the floor. The lack of coordination in all the videos has me seriously questioning her level of mobility

That arm!!

I made it look like a UFO flew out of her buttgina just for funsies

Lumpy + those arms x 2

I may be the only one that didn't know this, but the t-shirt fiasco, where Tess defends herself by saying she made a substantial donation? Turns out it was only $1k as confirmed at the bottom of this SS. Plus her excuses are ridiculous.

 

[lamp shade]

So this is "the most iconic photoshoot of my (her) career"..? I'm a bit disappointed tbh. Considering it's Tess, I should have known she'd overhype it. Or was Barb Wire a big thing in the US and it's just me that doesn't get it?
I did a side by side of the unshopped video v's the cover photo for lols:
View attachment 2554774

The more I look at this photo, the more I see. I'm glad she kept her signature mouth-breather look, and her 'beetus fingers didn't get shooped. How else would we know it's really her? lol
View attachment 2554798
She's all wonky. Compare her left hip to her right hip. The distance from the wire in the bra cup to where it goes around her ribs, also her earring and neckline in relation to the shape of her jaw. The more you look, the more bizarre it gets.

Spoiler: Various unrelated shit

At the start of the month when she did the last fabletics drop, I mentioned she had vids in her stories of her 'working out' as part of it. Since God has not blessed me with the ability to screen record I only have caps. I thought it'd be nice to share the horrific hilarity.

Her face is red, but I legit think it's from having her legs elevated. She looked like a giant baby kicking around on the floor. The lack of coordination in all the videos has me seriously questioning her level of mobility
View attachment 2554929

That arm!!

View attachment 2554952

I made it look like a UFO flew out of her buttgina just for funsies

View attachment 2554997

Lumpy + those arms x 2

View attachment 2554958

I may be the only one that didn't know this, but the t-shirt fiasco, where Tess defends herself by saying she made a substantial donation? Turns out it was only $1k as confirmed at the bottom of this SS. Plus her excuses are ridiculous.
View attachment 2555063

IIRC she sold those shirts for like $40 a piece so when you do the math you realize what a real piece of shit she is.

 

[Cheesegirl78]

IIRC she sold those shirts for like $40 a piece so when you do the math you realize what a real piece of shit she is.

$5,600, by my figures.

Didn't she go to Disneyland while the shirt fiasco was going on?

 

[Constellationzero]

So this is "the most iconic photoshoot of my (her) career"..? I'm a bit disappointed tbh. Considering it's Tess, I should have known she'd overhype it. Or was Barb Wire a big thing in the US and it's just me that doesn't get it?
I did a side by side of the unshopped video v's the cover photo for lols:
View attachment 2554774

The more I look at this photo, the more I see. I'm glad she kept her signature mouth-breather look, and her 'beetus fingers didn't get shooped. How else would we know it's really her? lol
View attachment 2554798
She's all wonky. Compare her left hip to her right hip. The distance from the wire in the bra cup to where it goes around her ribs, also her earring and neckline in relation to the shape of her jaw. The more you look, the more bizarre it gets.

Spoiler: Various unrelated shit

At the start of the month when she did the last fabletics drop, I mentioned she had vids in her stories of her 'working out' as part of it. Since God has not blessed me with the ability to screen record I only have caps. I thought it'd be nice to share the horrific hilarity.

Her face is red, but I legit think it's from having her legs elevated. She looked like a giant baby kicking around on the floor. The lack of coordination in all the videos has me seriously questioning her level of mobility
View attachment 2554929

That arm!!

View attachment 2554952

I made it look like a UFO flew out of her buttgina just for funsies

View attachment 2554997

Lumpy + those arms x 2

View attachment 2554958

I may be the only one that didn't know this, but the t-shirt fiasco, where Tess defends herself by saying she made a substantial donation? Turns out it was only $1k as confirmed at the bottom of this SS. Plus her excuses are ridiculous.
View attachment 2555063

TFW: The Glenn Millstead tattoo on her hamhock becomes meta.

 

[lamp shade]

$5,600, by my figures.

Didn't she go to Disneyland while the shirt fiasco was going on?

That’s only shirts that didn’t deliver. According to that article she made around 3000 sales, which is $120k. Some of that would be shipping and production costs but she came out way ahead and yes she went to Disneyland with some of the money.

 

[Oscar Winner]

$5,600, by my figures.

Didn't she go to Disneyland while the shirt fiasco was going on?

Approx 3,000 successful orders @ $40 = $120,000

Surely a massive over-estimation of shirt + postage etc. costing $20 = $60,000 still leaves another $60,000

Then she says that was eaten up trying to fix approx 140 shirts/$5,600 of missing orders, and she was still left thousands out of pocket personally, and didn't refund the people that didn't recieve what they paid for.

And she still gets pissy when people bring it up?! If she fucked off to Disneyland on top of that I hope the whole thing gets re-hashed forever, because her version of events is just not believable.
ETA- she expects people to believe it cost $60k + personal thousands to fix a $5.6k error.

Edit: kinda ninja'd lol

 

[Logical Fallacies]

So this is "the most iconic photoshoot of my (her) career"..? I'm a bit disappointed tbh. Considering it's Tess, I should have known she'd overhype it. Or was Barb Wire a big thing in the US and it's just me that doesn't get it?
I did a side by side of the unshopped video v's the cover photo for lols:
View attachment 2554774

The more I look at this photo, the more I see. I'm glad she kept her signature mouth-breather look, and her 'beetus fingers didn't get shooped. How else would we know it's really her? lol
View attachment 2554798
She's all wonky. Compare her left hip to her right hip. The distance from the wire in the bra cup to where it goes around her ribs, also her earring and neckline in relation to the shape of her jaw. The more you look, the more bizarre it gets.

Spoiler: Various unrelated shit

At the start of the month when she did the last fabletics drop, I mentioned she had vids in her stories of her 'working out' as part of it. Since God has not blessed me with the ability to screen record I only have caps. I thought it'd be nice to share the horrific hilarity.

Her face is red, but I legit think it's from having her legs elevated. She looked like a giant baby kicking around on the floor. The lack of coordination in all the videos has me seriously questioning her level of mobility
View attachment 2554929

That arm!!

View attachment 2554952

I made it look like a UFO flew out of her buttgina just for funsies

View attachment 2554997

Lumpy + those arms x 2

View attachment 2554958

I may be the only one that didn't know this, but the t-shirt fiasco, where Tess defends herself by saying she made a substantial donation? Turns out it was only $1k as confirmed at the bottom of this SS. Plus her excuses are ridiculous.
View attachment 2555063

Complaining about not finding a good man while looking/behaving like a whore/porn actress. Hmm, I wonder whether these two things are related?

And she can't do a single pose right cause FAT. lol

 

[Water-T]

I feel sorry for Pam Anderson - knowing that some failed model/cake whore is out there posing as her biggest movie role looking like an obese drag queen.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Complaining about not finding a good man while looking/behaving like a whore/porn actress

I reckon she's already complaining about not finding any man

 

[Pollybock]

She looks like pre-thin rebel Wilson

 

[Cheesegirl78]

Spamela Hamderson.

 

[niente]

Why she looking like Matt Lucas in drag tho?

 

[Oscar Winner]

This is the most credit I've seen Tess give for a long time, then again, when did she last have an actual shoot? No wonder she's plastered it all over her Instagram. Almost every post has credits tagged of all the usual suspects. I'd love to know how this shoot came about.

 

[vanilla_pepsi_head]

This is the most credit I've seen Tess give for a long time, then again, when did she last have an actual shoot? No wonder she's plastered it all over her Instagram. Almost every post has credits tagged of all the usual suspects. I'd love to know how this shoot came about.

Hahaha what the fuck, her legs were shopped to be like a third of their actual size. The arm and back boobs have been shrunk too it looks like (I can't even explain why, but those shadows look sus and her arm is way too smooth). Oh and I get to be the first to say it: Nature doesn't make straight lines, Tess. Look at her left upper leg, they lopped half of it off with a straight fuckin' diagonal.

So yeah, between the blonde she can't pull off, mouth agape like a drooling autist, hand on the door frame because she's too fat to stand up unassisted in heels, and the way the sheer part of that fabric is stretched to shit (look at the pattern lol) I'll give it a 2/10. Not the worst we've seen from her, but considering it's a tattoo mag I'd think it's a bad look to have your most prominent piece (Dolly) look all distorted and melted, plus the majority of the tats are all blown out due to weight gain and sun exposure.

If she really has "anorexia" you'd think being so fat that professional Photoshop can't help her would trigger her not to exceed 400 calories a day for 2 or 3 weeks. I still can't figure out how the hell she convinced herself she has anorexia nervosa, I don't get it. Is she trying to say she has no appetite at times and feels guilty for eating but horks down food anyway? If you're queasy from eating a whole cake and skip dinner, some complex mental gymnastics equate that to anorexia I guess. These "restrictive ED" fats are unbelievable.

 

[DoorPost101]

I still can't figure out how the hell she convinced herself she has anorexia nervosa, I don't get it. Is she trying to say she has no appetite at times and feels guilty for eating but horks down food anyway? If you're queasy from eating a whole cake and skip dinner, some complex mental gymnastics equate that to anorexia I guess. These "restrictive ED" fats are unbelievable.

Deathfats are so unfamiliar with the idea of hunger - healthy hunger, the kind that comes from waiting a few hours between meals, or regular hunger that comes with occasionally forgetting breakfast or something - that any kind of twinge that might relate to hunger feels like starvation to them.

I also think they're such surface level creatures that the only information they retain about restrictive eating disorders is that genuine anorexics skip meals. They don't bother learning the rest of it, such as the OCD behaviors and rituals around food, or the BMI requirement. So they skip or forget a couple of meals a week, feel that extremely normal and healthy kind of hunger that everyone feels when they skip a meal, and BAM, they're crying about anorexia.