Horrorcow Zoe Quinn / Chelsea Van Valkenburg / Locke Valentine / @UnburntWitch / @Primeape / CrashOverride / Hat Box / Old Uncle Anime - Con Artist, Abuser, Sexual Harasser, Drove Alec Holowka to Suicide.

If that's an accurate dating profile, then it's fantastic on so many levels (and, idk how verified it is as opposed to just some troll making a fake account).

She herself is incredibly low-status, no career, known for being a whiner, propped up for MUH SOCJUS, but at the end of the day even the people around her who were propping her up have come to realize she just doesn't deliver.
But then she posts a pic of herself speaking at the UN??? So she's low-status herself, yet posting shit that in theory should scare off her peer low-status males.

And "working on an indie game". Woo boy. She's been on the indie dev scene, what, ten, fifteen years? At that point, most people go... I've worked for X company and it led to Y successful release... which is why you should expect something out of my current projects.

I hope that's her account. Beautiful karma.
 
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Still waiting on that documentary film you had planned, Chelsea.

Didn't she say a few years ago that she's a man to fight for relevancy? These Photoshops have left me unconvinced.
 
Penis Drager said:
I know she has completed at least one twine game
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Patrick Lindsey completed at least one twine game, and let Chelsea put her name on it after sucking him off and ruining his relationship with another woman. You're correct in that there is a complete, free game on Steam with her name front and center, but let's not forget the two men, Patrick Lindsey & Isaac Shankler that made it really happen.

I’M PRO-CHOICE
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"You better believe I'm dropkicking that fetus into the medical waste bin, I only raise cats and dogs lmao!" The only way she'd keep a pregnancy is if she could somehow monetize the stem cells.
 
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Haramburger said:
Patrick Lindsey completed at least one twine game, and let Chelsea put her name on it after sucking him off and ruining his relationship with another woman. You're correct in that there is a complete, free game on Steam with her name front and center, but let's not forget the two men, Patrick Lindsey & Isaac Shankler that made it really happen.
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I thought the dick sucking was just for positive reviews. It could be both. I haven't payed attention to her since the gamergate shit was happening.
I played DQ a little bit once at it seemed exactly like the kind of thing a mentally ill danger hair would be able to shit out unassisted. Especially considering it's made in fucking Twine.
 
Penis Drager said:
I thought the dick sucking was just for positive reviews
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It was never reviews, it was positive coverage. As a nobody with no talent and completely incapable of producing any project on her own or as a lead, It's very clear from her twitter history with guys like Nathan Grayson that she was getting put front-and-center in articles that she really was not the star of, in exchange for "nebulous favors."

But yes, when a jilted lover comes out and says you ruined her relationship by engaging in a relationship with a man who was already taken, in order to get your game actually made, I'd say that's worth looking at, especially at a twitter interaction this old. Man, it's crazy looking at some of the changes that site has gone through over the years, almost unrecognizable as I look back.
 
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Says she's moving to Seattle "to start a new job/life". What do you want to bet that she's burned all of her bridges in LA and been frozen out of the scenes there, just like every other place she's lived? Seems like every few years like clockwork she has to pack up and start over.
 
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suicide hotline said:
Says she's moving to Seattle "to start a new job/life". What do you want to bet that she's burned all of her bridges in LA and been frozen out of the scenes there, just like every other place she's lived? Seems like every few years like clockwork she has to pack up and start over.
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I think California taxes, cost of living & COVID restrictions may also play a part. Seattle's another hispter cunt magnet and I think Randi Harper's still in that vicinity, I can't remember if she's a Portlander or Seattle whale. That could also factor in.

Work from home has made living in LA pretty pointless IMO, and COVID killing small businesses has probably made it worse. We'll have to keep an eye out for new dox when she moves yet again.
 
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Haramburger said:
It was never reviews, it was positive coverage.
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It's worth emphasising this. One little weasely trick she has is smugly asking for evidence of reviews when that was never the primary issue, or what she was hung up for to begin with. Carefully dances around the subject so she can obfuscate it.

Funnily enough she does the same with her titty pics. Makes out her nudes were leaked online and her privacy destroyed, but never seems to mention that she explicitly had them done as a paid for gig that was never intended for a private audience.
 
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Doesn't smoke cigarettes | Drinks sometimes | Smokes marijuana sometimes | Ketogenic
Yeah, right.
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zoequinngoldblunt1.jpg
 
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Man I can’t even count how many things are wrong with this profile. Reading between the lines is easy- I don’t do anything that is actually productive or profitable. I am like a stray cat (beat up pussy) and want adventure (that you pay for). Also I don’t commit easily (there’s always a chance some rich guy with low self esteem and money will want me to suck him his penis) but when I do (put out finally) it’s ride (and die by std) . I forgot the rest but it’s really too easy all jokes aside to see she’s basically saying this- fund my life don’t expect me to not cheat, give me money and gifts.
 
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suicide hotline said:
Says she's moving to Seattle "to start a new job/life". What do you want to bet that she's burned all of her bridges in LA and been frozen out of the scenes there, just like every other place she's lived? Seems like every few years like clockwork she has to pack up and start over.
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Chelsea can’t compete with the caliber of broken chicks with daddy issues who want a rich boyfriend/husband that flock to LA. Younger and much hotter girls increasingly put those kinds of guys out of her reach. So she’s going to a smaller pond in hopes of being seen as a bigger fish.

Chelsea seems to start a new job/life every couple years. Part of it is that everyone gets sick of her fast but the other part is that she is a whore. For all her talk about feminism, she can only get opportunities when she sucks and fucks for them. It’s why she got implants, it’s why she tries to dress half her age. She wants to find a rich man so she doesn’t need to work. Until then, she will blow her next hiring manager so she can get another do nothing job like the one she just left. Once she runs out of men who will let a slampig like Chelsea anywhere near their penis, it’s time for her to start a new life!
 
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suicide hotline said:
Says she's moving to Seattle "to start a new job/life". What do you want to bet that she's burned all of her bridges in LA and been frozen out of the scenes there, just like every other place she's lived? Seems like every few years like clockwork she has to pack up and start over.
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Do you think she's going to live in another apartment in Seattle like she did back in L.A.?
 
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