Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

[A Grey Cat]

Chris Chan when he goes to court:

you know there's a theory that everything happening in the Wolfenstein games after dethshead's castle is all just some elaborate coping method like an NDE or even an ideal afterlife for blaskowitiz. What we're seeing is a world he created where he goes on killing his enemy from the war days for all eternity.

A scenario like that is not too far off for chris, judge telling him how's a garbage human being who should be made an example of and all chris can imagine is his medallion flying in through the window, he does his little transformation while singing olivia newton john, and then frys everyone with his electric hedgehog powers.

 

[Rose of Dawn]

One of my favourite parts is Chris saying that if you doctor a photo of him to make him look like Jesus, he’ll look just like Jesus.

 

[nvrwastetree]

Did he just confess in the letter to fucking Barb?

Seems that way. He probably already confessed to the cops that arrested him, as well as the investigators. Chris is fucked.

 

[Mariposa Electrique]

Well it's a funny point actually, doesn't he see himself as a lesbian trans women with godess powers? Why is he comparing himself to Jesus Christ who's a man? It's a fucking hilarious comparison come to think of it, but if he wanted to be more true and honest he'd say he's the reincarnation of the Virgin Mary.

He's delusional in the literal sense. Not like a guy that's trying to bang a woman outside the his leagye but like a lunatic who thinks he can have sex with electricity, so he tries to put his dick inside a transformer.

 

[GorebyHog]

what the actual fuck

 

[Doctor of Autism]

Apparently in Chris' past life he was Jesus and then reincarnated into some medieval anime princess and then became what he is.

Also apparently King Arthur and Judas were both people who trolled Chris in his past lives.

 

[ToroidalBoat]

Also I was expecting more of a description of what hardships Chris had to endure being in jail for so long.

I guess he is coping so hard that they're not the first thing that comes to what's left of his fried brain.

 

[Wraith]

So... chris is saying he screwed the sin out of barb?
I guess that explains a lot of priests.

 

[RodgerDodger]

to everyone saying this letter is the damming piece of evidence that gets chris sent up the river, Remember that it's a post on some random forum the old boomers and aging gen xers who work the system know almost nothing about. and as for Heilburg's copy i dont know if he has to surrender it as evidence against his client but even so what makes you think any one's gonna take a word of it seriously?

I doubt neither the letter or the ILJ recordings are going to show up in the courtroom given how they are just random postings by idiots on the internet. Look I know the internet is becoming, if not already so ingrained in our lives and the system that there are entire units devoted to cyber crimes, but the fact remans a bunch of old out of touch farts aren't gonna give two fucks about what got posted to the internet forums, it's still such a big and scary unknown to them that they wanna avoid bringing it into court as much as possible.

The letter is likely authenticated already. He sent it from jail. He sent it to persons other than his lawyer, and including his lawyer. It has no privilege and a clear chain of evidence. The Sheriff's would have read it and dropped a copy in his file for the DA before it hit the mail. It's clear from the begining of the letter that Chris understands this.

Whether or not the Bella stuff comes in depends on what the prosecutors can authenticate. Given that they likely have Chris's phone and computers this may not be an onerus task.

I still doubt there will be a trial. Either his competancy is called into legitimate question and he gets packed off to the nut hut to be made sanr. Or a plea is reached that puts him into full time supervised psyche care instead of prison.

 

[AnimeGirlConnoisseur]

I’m saying that his medium of choice is the written word (ever see how wordy his comics are?) so it wouldn’t surprise me if he also can read just fine, especially when thats all he can acquire in prison

I dunno, maybe you have a point here. I don't think that he would ever pick up a bible and just read it if he was operating under normal conditions, but maybe jail is boring enough to force his hand. Still don't think he would understand a good deal of what's in there, but not understanding things has never stopped Chris before.

 

[feedtheoctopus]

I'm honestly more confused at the comparison to Andy Warhol then Christ

 

[Cuckoman]

Did he just confess in the letter to fucking Barb?

It is ok. God told him to.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

I stil have my doubts he talked. There's a huge difference between some young pretty thing offering china (whether hers or some other girls) and his mortal enemies the jerkops. Chris hates them with a flaming ( and petty) passion and while he knows jack all about his right to remain silent, he probably only blathered on about how "I will mind the lock on that door then use my pshcic type attacks on your ground type jerkop pricks."

They must have tried for hours to get chris to speak like a normal human being before realizing he's a lost cause. It'd be like trying to crack a safe with a spoon and there's no getting through the teflon layer that is his autism.

Consider the following: Chris is retarded

 

[Ophelia]

I'm honestly more confused at the comparison to Andy Warhol then Christ

Someone wrote a book comparing Chris to Warhol. It was sold on Amazon before the merge.

 

[likeabadgirlshould]

I thought jail would have fucked/beaten the Messiah complex out of him.

 

[Jazz never died!]

@Null Do you embrace Chris Chan as your Lady and Savior?

 

[Super Dilator Duel 3D]

I'm so sorry for Null. He did his best. What an ingrate Chris is. All he had to do is keep it in his pants for a couple weeks and he could've gone to the bronycon AND gotten laid. For free.

Also to go even fucking further, Null would have risked jail time himself for aiding Chris. He literally had no other choice than to turn Chris in because of Chris's own actions! What the hell. Null was willing to help him, despite the incest, and Chris just fuckin does this.

Honestly, I'd consider it a good thing that Chris didn't get laid legitimately in the end.

It'd give all of us no excuse.

"Even Chris Chan can get pussy, why not you?"

 

[Xiamara the Mare]

@Null Do you embrace Chris Chan as your Lady and Savior?

I do, I will worship the mighty lesbian penis of our saviour.

 

[ForgedBlades]

I thought jail would have fucked/beaten the Messiah complex out of him.

He always has detached further and further from reality when he's trying to cope with trauma or any sort of difficult situation. It's not really a surprise that jail has completely broken him.

 

[N U]

This is what happens when Chris can't play video games and watch TV and only has the Bible to read.