Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

  • 🔧 At about Midnight EST I am going to completely fuck up the site trying to fix something.
Status
Not open for further replies.
Again, this is probably late and gay, but I thought I'd shed some light on the Bible quotes Chris used.

He quoted Malachi 3 and Malachi 3:6-15. I've quoted that whole chapter of Malachi in the New International Version (the Bible translation Chris uses) and put Malachi 3:6-15 in bold.
“I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come,” says the Lord Almighty. But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the Lord will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the Lord, as in days gone by, as in former years. “So I will come to put you on trial. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty.

Breaking Covenant by Withholding Tithes​

“I, the Lord, do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty. “But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’ “Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me. “But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’

“In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty. “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the Lord Almighty.

Israel Speaks Arrogantly Against God​

“You have spoken arrogantly against me,” says the Lord. “Yet you ask, ‘What have we said against you?’ “You have said, ‘It is futile to serve God. What do we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty? But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly evildoers prosper, and even when they put God to the test, they get away with it.’”

The Faithful Remnant​

Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name. “On the day when I act,” says the Lord Almighty, “they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.
Click to expand...
The first section of chapter is a prophecy about the Messiah; in it, the prophet Malachi talks about how God will "come to His temple" and will purify the "Levites" (the Jewish priesthood). Now, we know Chris thinks he's Jesus; he already believed that he was the patron goddess of the Commodore 64 so him calling himself Jesus isn't that far of a stretch. What I think is that:
1) Chris wanted to talk about breaking out of jail in his letter
2) David Heilberg sensibly realised that if he did that he'd be even more screwed than he currently is
3) Chris chose to use a coded way of doing that.

Elsewhere in the letter Chris called 14 Branchland Court his "temple". I have a feeling that what Chris wanted to say is that he'll come back home and "testify against... those who defraud labourers of their wages" which I think is a way of talking about how @Null wouldn't give him the money he raised for that furry thing.

Malachi 3:6-15 (the section in bold) talks about how the Israelites defrauded God by not giving Him tithes and "spoke arrogantly" against Him. If you look at the part of his letter where he quoted Malachi 3:6-15:
Friday the 30th: Forced out of my home and Temple; had no where else to go. Had less than 50 dollars between pocket money, and only a couple of bucks or so in my bank account, NO money in my PayPal, Patreon was not due for a payout until Sunday and SSI was not coming into my bank until Tuesday. Harriet and Tom Ashby caste me out before I even arrived to Midlothian. The Van was not majorly uncomfortable. Josh had wired a thousand to my bank that Friday, But it would not arrive until After or on Monday. Little food and Options, and you try bumming in Any Parking Lot without feeling insecure and paranoid. I Needed Safety and Comfort As Quickly As Possible. THAT is why I transferred that money. I was going to pay it back in full; EVEN had $150 from Patreon on Sunday the 1st that went Straight to Barbie Chan's bank account. I WOULD have paid the ramining 600 Monday or Tuesday, BUT NULL had to FAIL HIS DESTINED TEST And Betrayed Me, like I was betrayed and jailed with a Kiss over 2000 years ago. NOW, and as of the past-arrest, I have absolutely NO Way to fulfill that repentence, OR anything else Digital. Malachi 3:6-15
Click to expand...
you can see how he talks about Null not giving him money quickly enough (withholding a tithe) and then "betraying" him (speaking arrogantly). He's basically insulting Null by using the Bible.

TL;DR - Chris wants to curse Josh out in a letter but his lawyer tells him that's a bad idea, so he uses Bible quotes to insult him.
 
  • Thunk-Provoking
  • Informative
  • Winner
Reactions: Ben Lurkin', biledriver, Biemelsaus and 15 others
We Gods had eased up on the views of "Adultry"; WHY Else do you all have Pro-Gay, Pro-Lesbian, Pro-Trans, and all Today and the past Decades? Everyone Involved Were All Being Genuinely, Deeply HAPPY, CONTENT, AND SPIRITUALLY SATISFIED with Themselves and Each Other. As long as All are over the age of consent, and the activity was consentual by all aprties involved, AND GENUINELY, SPIRITUALLY HAPPY, It is good.
Click to expand...

I'm interpreting this as meaning "If LGBT are now socially acceptable, why not incest between consenting family members?".

Whenever you think Chris hits rock bottom, he somehow finds a way to get lower.
 
  • Feels
  • Like
Reactions: blackboots, Nazi Catboi, Ophelia and 7 others
SteelPlatedHeart said:
Apparently lack of internet access made his delusions go mega haywire.
Click to expand...
Chris is probably sat in a 3x3 cell all alone with a Bible and a stinky metal prison toilet for company.

He's spent his entire life stimulated by toys, consoomer garbage, video games and supported and fed all the whole by his parents.

I guarantee he's completely lost it in there, if he has a few years he's gonna be fried by the time he's released. I'm not expert, but from a quick Google I doubt his mental illness will get him any special treatment as unsurprisingly being a nutjub is pretty common amongst prisoners.

He's fucked. Completely and utterly fucked.
 
  • Feels
  • Optimistic
  • Agree
Reactions: Pomme Poire Peche, Exceptional Chimp, Ἥλιος and 4 others
So he thinks he was doing sexual exorcism for Barb?

Marshal Mannerheim said:
What I think is that Chris wanted to talk about breaking out of jail in his letter
Click to expand...
An angel opened the jail doors for Peter. I guess a goddess is more powerful than Peter?

Malachi is the last book of the Old Testament. And this saga is the last book of Chris.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Ἥλιος, AMHOLIO, Marshal Mannerheim and 2 others
1632568619294.png

This is what Chris wants us to imagine:
1632564924794.png
 
Last edited:
  • Like
  • Islamic Content
  • Horrifying
Reactions: Male Idiot, The Great Chandler, Ij999 and 4 others
Purpleshells said:
Why does he always insist on capitalizing the first letter of certain words that don’t require it?
Click to expand...
It seems to be an autistic form of emphasis.

normal
Louder
LOUDEST

for example:
CWC in 2012 said:
Abstinence is a Very Crappy Joke! It only leads to Growing, GROWing, GROWING EMOTIONAL PAIN over the extended time.
Click to expand...
Maybe Chris got the idea from those American Sonic comics, where words are bolded for emphasis?
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: Pomme Poire Peche, Male Idiot, Ἥλιος and 1 other person
Oh wow. Chris's delusions have crossed over from believing that he's some fictional crossover God to actually believing that he's Jesus Christ.
Fantastic.

Also, the idiot confessed to having incest, AGAIN.

Chris, what you did was wrong, plain and simple. If you expected people to keep quiet about you fucking your disabled mother and then robbing her on pain of 'losing your trust', kindly go fuck yourself if Tyrone and Bubba ain't doing that to you already.
 
  • Agree
  • Like
Reactions: Ἥλιος, Flavius Anthemius, Cask of Amontillado and 1 other person
at first i was kind of shocked but the more i think about it this makes complete sense

locked up and alone in a tiny cell that smells like shit with only a bible in hand, chris does the one thing that he has consistently done throughout his entire life

make himself the protagonist of the closest fictional thing possible

consistent fucking behavior tbh. he isn't off his rocker at all this is just him. he hasn't 'lost' it he's just being the thing that he always has been

a retard

his mental state hasn't descended it is the same constant. some things never change and one of them is chris chan
 
  • Like
  • Agree
  • Winner
Reactions: Pomme Poire Peche, Male Idiot, AMHOLIO and 8 others
Xenomorph said:
"Barbie-Chan" the fact he still refers to the Mother he raped as that gives me chills.
Click to expand...
I guess it's safe to say that while Chris once meant "Chris Chan" in a "Jackie Chan way", he probably thinks of it now in the cutesy Japanese honorific way, which totally doesn't clash with someone like CWC.
 
  • Dumb
Reactions: biledriver
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back