Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Apteryx Owenii]

I've never been able to wrap my mind around the fact that he would constantly treat homelessness, as a positive thing, that women should be attracted to it. Like it's a good trait. That's especially retarded, even for him.

anything and everything lucas is, he considers a positive to women. The only thing he doesn't seem to treat this way is his tiny peen, which he can only 'make up for' seemlessly with fisting. I'm surprised he doesn't rant about how his undersized penis is better of some biological nonsense.

Everything else, especially contradictory stuff, should make him the biggest stud in the universe

and the only thing stopping him is covid
...and whatever the fuck else stopped him for the decade or so before covid where he also can't get a woman to stay within touching distance

 

[PrincessKidana]

anything and everything lucas is, he considers a positive to women. The only thing he doesn't seem to treat this way is his tiny peen, which he can only 'make up for' seemlessly with fisting. I'm surprised he doesn't rant about how his undersized penis is better of some biological nonsense.

Everything else, especially contradictory stuff, should make him the biggest stud in the universe

and the only thing stopping him is covid
...and whatever the fuck else stopped him for the decade or so before covid where he also can't get a woman to stay within touching distance

It would be hilarious if someone wrote a fake article with a bunch of scientific sounding nonsense about how stubby dicks are better for impregnating women and shared it with Wern. He'd go on for years about how his tiny nub is prime for babymaking just like he has about the telomerase despite being told what he says is nonsense by the people who actually know about that shit.

 

[Wernology]

Gen X Man is unlistenable in its present state. I hope Lucas records it again.

I have it saved. The volume is stupid low for a Lucas video but he basically just repeats his self soothing mantra about the studies being right and everyone else being wrong.

 

[Zaz]

To the tune of Colors of the Wind from Pocahontas

Lucas:

"You think I'm a gross scabby pedo
I'm trapped at Mallon Place
and I can't go with that hoe
And still I cannot see
That the pedophile is me
How can there be so much that I don't know
I don't know

You call me a pedophile moron
You doubt the strength of my telomerase
But I wish every ovulating zoomer
Knew that once I marched with Spokane gays

You call Gen-X hobos like me creepers
And that's why you will listen to me moo
You claim that to all children I'm a danger
just because I wish for them to screw

Have you ever heard a hobo scream for zoomer poon
or watched the jiggle of my triple chin?
I can share all of the gross thoughts I have within
As I argue with the voices on the wind
As I argue with the voices on the wind"

A voice on the wind:

"Come sleep all night beneath leaves in the forest
Come Zoomer baes, to hobos' spawn give birth
Come breed with a faggot who has no clue
And bring all things to sell that are of worth"

Lucas:

"I'm waiting for my father and my mother
To soon come to a quick and fatal end
and leave behind nothing for my brothers
but give me all fifty cattle-head to tend"

A voice on the wind:

"How low can the fat pedo go?
If we kill it now, we'll never have to know know"

Lucas:

"Have you ever heard a hobo scream for zoomer poon
or watched the jiggle of my triple chin?
I can share all of the gross thoughts I have within
As I argue with the voices on the wind"

 

[Wernology]

only thing I can imagine is that he
1) thought Lucas would be dumb\scared enough to be cowed by a toothless letter or
2) just wanted to put it 'on the record' that Lucas was full of shit so hopefully people would stop contact him telling him to do so

Sometime in 2019 there was a bit of this thread where a few people had emailed Eisenberg about it just to let him know that some pedo was using his work to justify being a pedo and got responses, Lucas did a few videos claiming those responses were faked and that Eisenberg was totally on his side, and a few people posted emails they got from him on the matter.

Lucas still thought it wasn't the real Eisenberg, then did a very sudden video being careful not to name drop Eisenberg, a few videos of "WELL WHY IS IT STILL ON THE INTERNET IF IT'S NOT TRUE???" videos, then dropped mentioning the studies altogether for awhile, so it's likely someone on Eisenberg's behalf contacted him and told him to stop, which he did for a few months.

 

[Da Dude123]

Sometime in 2019 there was a bit of this thread where a few people had emailed Eisenberg about it just to let him know that some pedo was using his work to justify being a pedo and got responses, Lucas did a few videos claiming those responses were faked and that Eisenberg was totally on his side, and a few people posted emails they got from him on the matter.

Lucas still thought it wasn't the real Eisenberg, then did a very sudden video being careful not to name drop Eisenberg, a few videos of "WELL WHY IS IT STILL ON THE INTERNET IF IT'S NOT TRUE???" videos, then dropped mentioning the studies altogether for awhile, so it's likely someone on Eisenberg's behalf contacted him and told him to stop, which he did for a few months.

He was legitimately freaked. He was worried that he would be sued for a bit. He was all "they gunna take muh tardbux!" Of course, he went back to bringing up these studies in about 2 or 3 montha because Lucas can't stick with anything for real long.

 

[Wernology]

Going over old videos this morning, remember that time less than a year ago Lucas said he'd quit dropping a certain slur because "his black friends" told him he needed to?

Kiwi Farms remembers.

Gonna guess they're not his friends anymore and probably never were.

If the embed doesn't skip to the right point in the video: https://youtu.be/BHWF46ZyT8Y?t=2334

 

[Poop Shoot]

I’d like to chime in that after end of life care and nursing home shit, most middle class people - even if they had property and savings - have nothing left at the end to give.

The only time I ever see them have anything left to give for an inheritance it’s because of an unpaid caregiver giving up their lives to keep them out of a nursing home. I don’t see Lucas as the reliable nursing type.

He’ll get nothing

 

[Da Dude123]

I love how in this last video where he brought up his inheritance that he is so sure he will get. He asks the baby zooms what they would do with all that land. GTFOH. He is so exceptional. In almost all cultures bragging about something like that is considered in poor taste. Lucas, of course, has zero manners or sense of decorum.

And of course, lots of people around his age will inherit money and property someday. The thing is, most of them have jobs and are not living in nursing homes at age 41. And maybe also have good relationships with their family. Lucas has a terrible relationship with his family and never speaks to them. As was brought up, it speaks volumes that his mom never ever arranges for him to come visit her in Arizona.

It so funny to see him grasp at straws and try to impress the baby zooms with "look how rich ny family is", while being a ragman. It is true fat faggot behavior.

 

[wenttobermuda]

I am trying to pinpoint the earliest example of Lucas declaring that he is ready, and eager, to be a father. I think it will enhance the study of Wernology to put this desire for children in its proper context. His magnum Opus, the essay "Ready to be a Dad," is of relatively recent vintage. No more than 3 years old. And then there's this....

What the ever loving fuckView attachment 2572357

Check out that smile!

Nothing inherently mockable about the desire to be a parent. But when Lucas addresses fatherhood, people recoil.

The sincerity of Lucas's professed desire to be a father has been long argued by Wernologists. Some maintain that he talks about making babies as a retarded seduction technique; he thinks it's what the baes want to hear ("Hello, my name is Lucas, how are you? I love you and want to impregnate you!"). Others take the position that while Lucas is obviously puss puss obsessed, his desire to be a father is genuine. Amongst the latter, it is theorized that Lucas's intense desire to procreate is driven by at least 4 considerations:

1) Extreme loneliness. Lucas has nothing and no one and sees starting a family as a way to belong and matter.
2) Puss puss! Fucking makes babies, and Lucas wants to fuck and then tell other dudes about it so they'll respect him and stop calling him fat faggot. A child would be a demonstration of Lucas's access to puss puss and virility.
3) Lucas is a degenerate primate, operating on the level of eating and breeding, incapable of giving a damn about anything unrelated to his base biological imperatives.
4) Lucas wants a daughter. To call him daddy. And presumably, groom and molest.

 

[AngryTreeRat]

While I am no wernologist, I think Lucas desire to be a father is purely his breeding instinct, his obsession with healthy babies and age gaps is based on some complete misunderstandings of science being dragged into that instinct and a fear of failing at yet another aspect of existence.

 

[Da Dude123]

The other reasons that were not mentioned is that Lucas wants to be seen as plenty good. Which sort of crosses into #2 in Went to Bermuda's list. If he became a dad he believes it would elevate him into plenty good status amongst his peers. He also believes that a child would please King Roy and the Elk Kingdom and he, his child, and teen bride would be welcomed back there with open arms.

 

[wenttobermuda]

While I am no wernologist, I think Lucas desire to be a father is purely his breeding instinct, his obsession with healthy babies and age gaps is based on some complete misunderstandings of science being dragged into that instinct and a fear of failing at yet another aspect of existence.

This is a defensible position. Lucas is a creature of instinct, preoccupied with eating and fucking. He relates all of his interests back to eating and fucking.

When did he start publicly expressing his desire to be a father, though?

My initial research suggests something like the following timeline: breaks up with Suzanne....starts posting about his affinity for Millenial puss puss...discovers telomeres and moves away from his previous pseudo-science interests (time travel, warp travel, math theory)....starts telling the world he wants to be a dad...switches attention to Gen Z...composes poems about his desire to impregnate Gen Z.

In his "Ready to be a Dad" essay, he claims that at 36 he realized he wanted kids. I don't want to take Lucas's word for it.

The other reasons that were not mentioned is that Lucas wants to be seen as plenty good. Which sort of crosses into #2 in Went to Bermuda's list. If he became a dad he believes it would elevate him into plenty good status amongst his peers. He also believes that a child would please King Roy and the Elk Kingdom and he, his child, and teen bride would be welcomed back there with open arms.

Excellent point. Lucas has talked a lot about King Roy and Myrna deserving grandchildren, and his plans for delivering his wernlings to the Elk Kingdom. #2, is as you observe, basically a matter of "plenty good." But #5 could be: manipulate his parents, get back into their good graces or get their support.

 

[mothman96]

Others take the position that while Lucas is obviously puss puss obsessed, his desire to be a father is genuine. Amongst the latter, it is theorized that Lucas's intense desire to procreate is driven by at least 4 considerations:

1) Extreme loneliness. Lucas has nothing and no one and sees starting a family as a way to belong and matter.
2) Puss puss! Fucking makes babies, and Lucas wants to fuck and then tell other dudes about it so they'll respect him and stop calling him fat faggot. A child would be a demonstration of Lucas's access to puss puss and virility.
3) Lucas is a degenerate primate, operating on the level of eating and breeding, incapable of giving a damn about anything unrelated to his base biological imperatives.
4) Lucas wants a daughter. To call him daddy. And presumably, groom and molest.

From your list 2, 3, and 4 and I'll add he wants children to get back in with his father and mother thinking it will ensure he gets the inheritance. He salivates at the thought of getting King Roy's house, land and money. With a pregnant Gen Z wife, well King Roy can only be overjoyed at Lucas making him a grandfather, he'll put out the welcome mat and Lucas/wife will move right in. From there it's just a matter of King Roy providing for them and waiting for old Roy to kick the bucket. Of course Lucas thinks King Roy is not going to leave his grandchild/children in the street so he'll be leaving everything to Lucas.

ETA:
Ninj'd by Da Dude123

 

[Cheesegirl78]

I’d like to chime in that after end of life care and nursing home shit, most middle class people - even if they had property and savings - have nothing left at the end to give.

The only time I ever see them have anything left to give for an inheritance it’s because of an unpaid caregiver giving up their lives to keep them out of a nursing home. I don’t see Lucas as the reliable nursing type.

He’ll get nothing

I don't know much about his family, so my best guess is if they do leave him anything, it will be a small amount in some type of trust doled out by a family member or his payee.

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

I just ADORE these dumb expressions of frustrated, constipated anger on his stupid bullfrog melon, don't you?

 

[King Daddy Telomerase]

My theory: The root of everything that is Lucas Werner is that he's stuck as that teenage boy that wants his female peers to have sex with him. This is common among incels.

Lucas first coped with this in a more normal way... obsession with Barely Legal porn, thinking about time travel and Star Wars sci-fi stuff. Lucas wanted to go back in time and with what he knows now, he would fuck all those high school/college girls he wanted.

Finally after years of desperation and maybe a few terrible dates at best, he found Suzanne via his mental illness. 18 years older than him, probably in a fucked up Mommy-Son relationship, but something is better than nothing. Lucas eventually gets tired of this. I believe him when he says he saw guys his age with younger girls and it made him rage, because that's what he wants. I'd guess the final rage was that Suzanne broke up with Lucas and that destroyed his ego too.

After this in 2014-15, Lucas had more of the typical incel rage. He was pissed about his lack of success on dating apps, the one woman that gave him the time of (the) day left him, and he felt hopeless. Rightfully so, as a homeless 35 year old morbidly obese stinky bum. I believe Lucas is well aware that he has nothing to provide to women, especially an 18-26 year old.

One day, wallowing his own misery, Lucas was searching for how to get with girls like many lonely guys do. He comes across telomerase and it all clicks in his brain. Men who are 35-55 years old have magic jizz! Yes, I am 35 years old! Now I know the secret to get those young girls to fuck me!

Since then, Lucas has dedicated his life to this amazing research that he completely misunderstands. His magic coom is the golden ticket. Now, to manipulate as many fertile 18-21 year old girls into fucking him. You need his semen. Notice how when Lucas makes videos around others, he's desperately trying to come across as intelligent. Babbling nonsense about his board games, making these delicious meals, he's a scientist, etc...

I doubt Lucas is even a leftist. It's all an act because he thinks young libtard girls with colored hair are the dumbest and most easily manipulated puss puss. Lucas is a smart older daddy and you need his sperm.

For Lucas, it was probably over long ago, before we even knew of him on the Internet. There is much we don't know. Why did Myrna and King Roy kick Lucas out of their life and leave him to rot away homeless thousands of miles away? Nobody in his family seems to care at all. He's likely done terrible shit that we don't even know of, the Starbucks incident is just a blip.

TL;DR Lucas is a fat faggot and even incels hate him.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

From your list 2, 3, and 4 and I'll add he wants children to get back in with his father and mother thinking it will ensure he gets the inheritance. He salivates at the thought of getting King Roy's house, land and money. With a pregnant Gen Z wife, well King Roy can only be overjoyed at Lucas making him a grandfather, he'll put out the welcome mat and Lucas/wife will move right in. From there it's just a matter of King Roy providing for them and waiting for old Roy to kick the bucket. Of course Lucas thinks King Roy is not going to leave his grandchild/children in the street so he'll be leaving everything to Lucas.

ETA:
Ninj'd by Da Dude123

How pathetic do you have to be, that one of the main reasons you want to bring a child into the world is because you want to move back in with your parents (the other reason is because you presumably want to groom and later rape the child after your ‘wife’ becomes an older crone at the age of 30).

I have a much better relationship with my family than he does (meaning we actually speak and enjoy each other’s company), but I sure as shit don’t want to live under the same roof with them ever again.

Secondly, when we do visit, you can tell that my kids wear my folks out. That’s not to say that they don’t love their grandchildren... they do. They’re just old and don’t have the energy to keep up with young kids day after day.

I don’t know much about the esteemed King Roy and his Kingdom of Elk, but I’m pretty sure welcoming in his obese, unhygienic, socially repulsive, mentally unstable and likely violent man child of a son, the woman who decided to bear his child (if such a woman existed she’d come with a whole host of issues) and a newborn doesn’t sound like how he wants to spend his retirement.

This is probably my least favorite part of the sheer repulsiveness that is Lucas’s personality. I waited a little while to have kids. I knew I wasn’t responsible enough to have them before I did and I wasn’t in a financial place to support them. I know it’s not in the cards, but this mentality he has where he’s going to knock some girl up and then magically figure out how to manage his life afterwards just strikes me as pretty gross. Couple that with the fact that he’d be an atrocious father, a terrible role model and that there’s a more than 50% chance he’ll end up raping that child and I just get more than a little disgusted with him than usual.

Here’s the thing though, when King Roy and Myrna pass on through into the great beyond, whatever material possessions they have left will be distributed, not to Lucas but to his siblings who actually spend time with his parents, don’t eagerly wish for their demise and actually are going somewhere with their lives.

Like the Gen Z beauty queen who can’t wait to become a mother and has a fetish for obese smelly hobos, an inheritance just isn’t in the cards for him.

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

He's clinging to the idea that this inheritance is the golden ticket out of this godawful situation that he fashioned for himself.

Despite how much he claims to hate money, I think the idea that he might have a shitload of money given to him one day is one of the few things that keeps him going.

He's a temporarily embarrassed millionaire.

 

[mothman96]

The Freaks plans for when he gets a hot Gen Z girlfriend. Marry her at King Roys, chill in the hot tub on their wedding night, honeymoon in a spare room.