Prison Letters Chris writes me from Prison (dated September 19th, 2021)

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enjoy being dead said:
Chris could end up in a single cell eventually, but I'd expect him to at least start out in a mainline unit, possibly with other mental health cases or sex offenders. If he keeps throwing tantrums and being disruptive, he'll gradually move to harder, more restrictive housing; but I doubt he'll start there after his initial observation.
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How many people are likely to be in his cell? Does he have to take a dump in front of a room full of people or am I thinking of a holding cell?
 
HeilDave said:
How many people are likely to be in his cell? Does he have to take a dump in front of a room full of people or am I thinking of a holding cell?
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He's not in prison right? So I'd imagine he's in some sort of holding cell until he is properly sentenced. Depending on the facility they could also just let him out to go to the bathroom considering that the risk of Chris trying to escape, let alone the risk of Lard-o succeeding in escaping, isn't very high.
 
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HeilDave said:
How many people are likely to be in his cell? Does he have to take a dump in front of a room full of people or am I thinking of a holding cell?
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He's probably in some form of protective custody, which may amount to nothing more than being effectively in solitary.
roj said:
He's not in prison right? So I'd imagine he's in some sort of holding cell until he is properly sentenced. Depending on the facility they could also just let him out to go to the bathroom considering that the risk of Chris trying to escape, let alone the risk of Lard-o succeeding in escaping, isn't very high.
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I doubt they have him in general population, although this jail does apparently have a model, for normal inmates, where there is a housing unit for multiple prisoners, like a barracks, with the guards mixed in with the inmates as well as one overlooking them.

However, Chris is probably on the segregation block, which consists of single-occupancy cells.

Source: https://www.cvrj.org/prea.pdf
 
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chris is obviously full of shit and it wont work the way he thinks it does. if you look at his letter, you notice a contrast between his jesus chris of cwcville rants and his complaints and excuses for stealing from barb. the former sounds out of crazy, the latter sounds kind of coherent. this contrast wouldnt exist if he was what he said he is.
 
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AnOminous said:
However, Chris is probably on the segregation block, which consists of single-occupancy cells.
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I bet Chris thinks he's superior because of this.
anti SJW said:
If the put Chris in with another person, there would have been a riot.

Forcing someone to room with Chris is definitely cruel and unusual punishment.
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It would break prison code for banking with homos, and Chris would have his shit kicked in.
 
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Segregation Block:
Is a single cell-housing unit that is made up of 8 single housing cells. The PREA information was posted
as was the Audit Notice. There are cameras located in the hallway and each cell has a camera located
inside the cell. There are privacy factors that have been put in place to protect inmates from opposite
gender viewing. The unit utilizes one rolling phone and an announcement was made by a female officer
prior to staff entering the unit. The auditor also reviewed the logbook notating that random checks were
made by supervisors. The shower area provides privacy with a half shower door.

We really need a field agent watching that one-man tv show
 
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HeilDave said:
Segregation Block:
Is a single cell-housing unit that is made up of 8 single housing cells. The PREA information was posted
as was the Audit Notice. There are cameras located in the hallway and each cell has a camera located
inside the cell. There are privacy factors that have been put in place to protect inmates from opposite
gender viewing. The unit utilizes one rolling phone and an announcement was made by a female officer
prior to staff entering the unit. The auditor also reviewed the logbook notating that random checks were
made by supervisors. The shower area provides privacy with a half shower door.

We really need a field agent watching that one-man tv show
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Real Life Truman Show
 
AnOminous said:
It can actually be both. He can be completely delusional but realize on some level that looking "crazy" could be to his advantage, at least with his cartoonish view of how the criminal justice system works. You really couldn't pick anything more stereotypically "crazy" than claiming to be Jesus.
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Agreed. Claiming to be Jesus is way too on-the-nose, and it's not in line with his previous nutty claims.
 
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Male Idiot said:
I am mildly surprised he is just not full on bating all the time and adding navy to his diet.
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If the "stimming" mentioned is the "doing shit to stave off boredom/madness" definition and not the "autistic child jiggling" one it's 100% just gonna be him rubbing his dyke.
 
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Pvt. Real G said:
Jesus slept during a storm on a dingy wooden boat, and Chris can't sleep in a van in a parking lot? Omega lul.
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Jesus walked on water and Chris stuck his dick in snow for over fifteen whole minutes without it falling off.

Both are… kind of miraculous in nature? :|
 
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I feel somebody had to remind this to him sometimes. Because he is very confident in his own thoughts...
chrisspectrum.png
 
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Shovel Mech Pilot said:
Agreed. Claiming to be Jesus is way too on-the-nose, and it's not in line with his previous nutty claims.
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I disagree and say it is in line, because at the core of all of Chris's stupid beliefs is that he is a god. Back in the original golden age days of the comics, he was the one the hedgehogs served and was always front and center despite the comic ostensibly not even being about him given the title, up to the point he declared himself the Great Director Chandler.

Moreover, following his 'transition', Chris decided to latch onto Neptunia and declared himself a new character in the lore as 'Blue Heart' based on the Commodore, giving himself all kinds of stupid powers he claimed were real (self-levitation and telekinesis). This extended into him playing pretend apocalypse herald by demanding reality conform to his whims, as stuff like G5 not being canceled meant no more G4 and thus ruining all of Chris's imagination play time.

Chris deciding he's the son of god? Well, that's just him copy-pasting himself into the bible and having absurd powers like being able to cure blindness (you know, like how he used to claim his blood would eventually create the cure for homosexuality?) and essentially demanding everybody give him the respect like how Jesus would get if he actually DID pop up and prove he was alive in the modern times.

Really, it's Chris just being desperate to be so much more than he ever was and ever will be, without actually having to put in a micron of effort to actually do anything different or improve as a person. He just wants it given to him.
 
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