The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Owner of a Lonely Hole]

The most vexing part of the Tranch drama is that none of my meatspace associates/loved ones would give two shits even if I told them about this. And it’s so fucking juicy, too. FML.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

The most vexing part of the Tranch drama is that none of my meatspace associates/loved ones would give two shits even if I told them about this. And it’s so fucking juicy, too. FML.

Sharing is caring man, I've been keeping my whole household updated and they're loving this shit. Who even bothers paying for cable anymore with drama like this?

 

[AMHOLIO]

That furry filmmaker has got to be ripping his hair out by the roots watching months of documentary work going up in flames in real time.

Considering Ash simps hard for both them and the furry fandom, yes. He's going to be crying for days over the loss of a fandom safe haven depending on how this turns out.

I hope we get some legal documents or at least a repeat of Alyssa quitting her job, but it's Bonnie quitting the tranch and serving either divorce or eviction papers. Run, Sky!

Alyssa already compared herself to troon Jesus but I'd love to see Paul compare himself to Jesus as well in a letter to Sky. It won't happen, there's only one Jesus in New Eden.

 

[The Final Troondown]

I see where you're coming from, but I want to wait and see if she ever hits a low. Looking at her twitter history, it was maybe one month (February) long, and even then she could have been away for other reasons. She seems like a long, long assault of crazy who's burning herself out fast and there's no brakes, maybe a few bouts of depression but otherwise high intensity. She could be the type of bipolar who's low is normal people's regular, her normal state being manic, and her high extremely manic as well.
You could be right on the money though. Guess we'll know within the next few months.

I only disagree with this because everything they do is a half assed failure, from their land to their apperance to the "business charity". I'm on board with them manipulating her 100% (mostly Bonnie and partially friendzoned Kevin) but I am certain they took on a project too big. As if they took too many aplacas in at once, but it's a person with headmates. Bonnie THINKS he does, but doesn't in reality.

I'm wondering how they'd use her on the grift end: do they send her out to shake her titties or do they post pictures of her rescued or something? No matter what she'll be Snow White in the house of dickless dwarfs.

I think it's just Bonnie has finally got some pussy and he's acting like a 15 year old nerd who just lost his virginity to his first GF
If it were anyone else I imagine Penny would have taken them aside and told them to get her out of there, but Bonnie is on the mortgage and I can imagine him pulling out of the ranch to be with his one true love like a stupid emo teenager

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

The most vexing part of the Tranch drama is that none of my meatspace associates/loved ones would give two shits even if I told them about this. And it’s so fucking juicy, too. FML.

If my family & friends found the Tranch Saga on their own, they'd probably be as fascinated as we are; but trying to fill them in myself would just make me sound nuts.

Hasn't stopped me trying to think of a way to bring the Tranch to their attention, though.

 

[Gone Ham]

I hope sky burns the trap house to the ground in spite

 

[DemonicMustache]

I think it's just Bonnie has finally got some pussy and he's acting like a 15 year old nerd who just lost his virginity to his first GF
If it were anyone else I imagine Penny would have taken them aside and told them to get her out of there, but Bonnie is on the mortgage and I can imagine him pulling out of the ranch to be with his one true love like a stupid emo teenager

If Bonnie insists are keeping Kindness around, Sky will be kicked out of the Ranch. Kindness will move in.

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

I hope sky burns the trap house to the ground in spite

With all their shitty electrical work, I'm surprised it hasn't happened already.

 

[Ashamed of Yourself]

If my family & friends found the Tranch Saga on their own, they'd probably be as fascinated as we are; but trying to fill them in myself would just make me sound nuts.

Hasn't stopped me trying to think of a way to bring the Tranch to their attention, though.

The NPR shit from awhile back would be a good mainstream gateway. It was several story arcs ago, though, so you'd have to update them on plotlines and new characters.

 

[lamp shade]

Bonnie is not going to fight for the tranch. The tranch has been failing for a while now and I think Bonnie found an out. It will be interesting if he decides to take his name off of whatever is there. I believe his name was used for the loan for the tractor? I never would’ve guessed Bonnie would be the first one to jump ship but I’m loving it. Really destroys the illusion they’ve been trying to force in all these documentaries that it is some magical haven. Also interesting that the “family” seems to support Bonnie, but I guess calling out faking and delusions goes against the whole heart of the tranch so it shouldn’t be surprising. Sky may find himself homeless shortly.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I went insane and made a rough timeline of things that lead to this current arc of the anime. I did not include the alpacas aside from when necessary or elaborate on the extended earl drama. I highly encourage others to work on that if they so choose, but it is not part of the Bonniefire that is going on now. It is VERY sloppy, feel free to edit or create your own version of the timeline with actual dates based on this. I wanted to get a nice rough draft out just for the tranch fans joining us and trying to understand the madness.

• kevin and penny meet, kevin becomes part of the polycule
• bonnie is married to sky. the two have an open marriage, as at least Bonnie is poly.
• bonnie and penny decide to go into business together. they are ex boyfriends but remain amicable
• the tenacious unicorn ranch is founded, the money being a joint effort between sky, bonnie, & penny. Bonnie and Sky own the land along with Bonnie's mom, who helped cosign the tranch. She is a technical owner as well in spite of her estrangement from her son.
• kevin gets his vaginoplasty and tweets about it hard. kevins tweets attract kiwifarms
• kevin gets a thread the ranch slowly gains members and media attention
• kevin's twitter friend, Ash Coyote, a furry film documentarist, meet as they are both in Colorado. Ash then decides to film the ranch in a documentary called "tenacious".
• as this happens, the ranchhands (here to be known as tranchers) grow increasingly paranoid of the world around them, as for some reason they decided to buy land in a red county/city and begin to jump at ghost
• these ghost jumpings become so bad the tranch starts shilling their gofundme to help protect them and constantly tweet about the danger this brings in around 100,000$ in hard cash, more than they made off of spotty yarn sales. they buy dumb shit with it.
• eventually, these griftbux run out. Kevin and Ash talk: Ash is a guest at 2021's upcoming Denfur, and Ash realizes he can get the Tranch to be the charity of that year. This happens and the tranch is charity of 2021.
• Denfur happens. 16,000$ is raised.
• While at Denfur, Bonnie and Kevin meet a woman who calls herself a man self dubbed "Kindness". Her real name is Alyssa Frauns, and will be referred to as such. Alyssa has been watching the tranch on social media for a while and idolizes them, to the point where she or Bonnie initiate courtship and the other gladly joins in. They fuck and talk about antifa and "headmates" (multipersonality disorder/disassociative identity disorder/DID larping, very much isn't real) and bond over it. We are unable to tell Sky's feelings at the time since he is not permanently online and does not tweet as hard as the rest of the tranch. His face seems nonplused in pictures, but it was before this too.
• Kevin is cucked and gets no Alyssa, btw.
• Alyssa later comes to the tranch after the convention to visit for a weekend. she likes it a lot there and makes friends.
• Alyssa returns home and realizes she does jot like her then current job as a nanny for the kids of 2 doctors. She cites abuse when the mother emails her a reminder of what her reasonable job duties are and has been holding utter resentment at them for misgendering her, even though she never told them she was trans and went by "stella" to them, a woman's name.
• Alyssa quits. Bonnie helps her by driving to her place and holding on to his gun while she turns in her resignation. they then fuck. Alyssa tells Bonnie she exists only to make others happy and asks for Bonnie to givw her a gay haircut (hence Alyssa's side shave), they talk more about headmates and bonnie goes home in the morning.
• next week, Alyssa stays at the ranch again. She is unhindered in her craziness, and once she starts noticing that a few people on the tranch are not happy with her, her fake seziures flare up. she has them for 2 whole days more than she was supposed to stay at the ranch. she breaks down, she has headmate woes, and so on. she finally leaves at the end of five days to go back to her house full of neglected animals (much like the tranch).
• Sky talks to Bonnie after Alyssa leaves. Sky, as a former CRN, tells Bonnie that Alyssa is faking her many conditions and that Alyssa is crazy. Bonnie is probably the one who then tells Alyssa about Sky's objections, and Alyssa chimps out over twitter. Several other tranchers support Alyssa as they have their own headmates and fake mental illnesses.
• Sky seems to have broken an unspoken promise each trancher keeps: don't accuse people of faking things. Penny is implied to support Sky.
• Surprisingly, Bonnie is so taken in by Alyssa feeding his ego, feeding his own headmate delusions, and true and honest vagina that he runs away to be with her for now. Several other tranchers had sent support towards him.
• You are here.

Again, this is rougher than Kevin's skin. Go hard on fixing it, building off of it, or making your own.

 

[AprilRains]

If you're going to make a timeline, you might specify some times and dates. Many of them will be approximate, of course.

 

[The Elusive Earl]

Both the Earl we needed AND the one we deserve!

She's better than I have ever been, brings a tear to my eye.

 

[AMHOLIO]

If you're going to make a timeline, you might specify some times and dates. Many of them will be approximate, of course.

You're right. That's why it's extra rough and shitty though: I wanted to touch base but got too lazy to look through this behemoth today. Hoping that laying the groundwork helps me and other Kiwis for now.

 

[Pocket Dragoon]

You're right. That's why it's extra rough and shitty though: I wanted to touch base but got too lazy to look through this behemoth today. Hoping that laying the groundwork helps me and other Kiwis for now.

Make sure to use her full, true & honest name throughout; Alyssa Jo Frauens.

And get it moved/crossposted to her thread.

 

[Beating Women]

They didn't start on this ranch they were at another location before moving to the tranch.

I'm not sure there really has been a schism between them (other than sky), I think someone conniving like penny has been encouraging bonnie out the door "to heal". This strengthens his position as the remaining top troon.
I always imagine the atmosphere inside the tranch as being like a season of Big Brother, with them all quietly competing for position. The dominant ones anyway, the subs like kev and jen just back up penny but have zero power and influence.

 

[The Final Troondown]

Side note: her most recent nude is...odd. I'm not posting it for the same reasons I didn't post her pee video so fuck yall, but yikes.

Is it T that causes your body to just sag? She's not a big girl yet she resembles someone who's lost a ton of weight in a short period of time

if she's really got erhlers danlos it could be attacking the collagen in her skin, I think it also requires a lot of extra calories to repair the constant skin damage so that plus weightloss is doing it, that or she's just using wayyy too much adderall and it's nixed her appetite

 

[S.C.U.D.]

I'm pretty sure most people on the ranch are as retarded as Bonnie and believe Bonnie has found his TRUE LOVE with Kindness, and don't see Kindness for the psycho BPD whore she is. I have trouble believing anyone there besides Penny and Sky see her for what she really is, because they're all so insane.

 

[The Final Troondown]

She's a spoonie too!


View attachment 2562703
The lines have been drawn; choose your champion! Who will fall first in the epic struggle to expel the homewrecking lich?

Christ if Penny is behind sky on getting rid of her (like I suspect he is) then KevKev is flying close to the sun by crossing him and bonnie trying to move in on bonnie's sex toy

 

[AMHOLIO]

I'm pretty sure most people on the ranch are as retarded as Bonnie and believe Bonnie has found his TRUE LOVE with Kindness, and don't see Kindness for the psycho BPD whore she is. I have trouble believing anyone there besides Penny and Sky see her for what she really is, because they're all so insane.

There are so many emotionally stunted people on the tranch who are either autistic, emotionally damaged and are having a hard time coping themselves since they're struggling with their own problems they can't see/are sympathetic to others, and or nerds with not much life experience outside of the internet. It really is a hazard when most of your community is full of people who need therapists. This is like a discord server come to life.

It really fucking says something when the most emotionally mature people on ther ranch are the guy who hoards animals and people (Penny) and left 2 wives, and the guy who married Bonnie.