Grace Lavery / Joseph Lavery & Daniel M. Lavery / Mallory Ortberg - "Straight with extra steps" couple trooning out to avoid "dwindling into mere heterosexuality"

[NopeNoJustNo]

PCOS is so very common that it’s almost normal. Every menstruating person and their girl dog has PCOS it seems. (Dogs can be girls/females/bitches and aren’t just menstruating dogs, have you noticed? Unlike human menstruators who must be without gender so as not to exclude.)


It almost seems like she resents someone giving her hormones as a minor. Kind of like something else going on right now (trans youth being medicalized!).

I don’t know why I feel maternal toward these idiots, but that recent picture of Mallory with the dog grabbing her hat is depressing. Her eyes look sad. She looks vulnerable.

I genuinely question California as a place to raise healthy kids. Maybe the Ortbergs should have stayed in Illinois. You really wonder. What would this family be like had they stayed a suburban Chicago family with a normal community, fall fests, pumpkins, the Home Alone house nearby, Greek town a few minutes away, world class museums, not so many billionaire douche bags, and extended family. Plus it’s normal for Midwestern girls to be a bit frumpy and a bit of fat is good for winter.

Instead the Ortbergs raised kids a few minutes from depravity in any direction, from sickening wealth to drugs to freaky Silicon Valley sex parties, sex trafficking, suicides on the train tracks outside the high school and off the bridge, homelessness, parents who push their kids to do geometry by 7th so they can make sure to fit in both AP calc classes by Junior year and kids literally doing summer academic research by selective admission by 10th grade. Silicon Valley is so fucked up that no one is coming out of there normal.

The older I get, the more I see how aspirational living is a stupid way to go. Mallory is everything you would expect from this scenario including the absolute cluelessness as to how her former culture is still running her whole life.

People whose aim is to rebel still allow the dominators to control them. They still follow the same path it’s just by doing the opposite of what is expected of them. So they wanted her to be a healthy girl with PCOS under control at a healthy weight so she could have an easier and happier life?

Well then she’s gonna be a boy and do the opposite. Guess what. You’re still taking hormones. Instead of BCP it’s T and instead of lipo it’s boob removal and baggy chest scar. What a rebel. You showed them who owns your body. Yes you did, you bad boy!

PCOS has become a shitshow.

There are four main factors for this, as I see it:

1) The diagnosis is subjective. It's largely based on the clinician's assessment of whether or not the patient has a level of masculinization beyond the normal range, particularly body hair. There has been a failure to establish a baseline of what is a normal level of body hair. Many doctors don't seem to realize the amount of body hair that women usually remove. If a patient shows up who does not remove their leg hair, doctors can be confused by this and think it's hirsutism, when it's just a normal amount of leg hair.

2) It's a female health issue, and these are notoriously under-researched and poorly understood.

3) Intersecting with the prior two factors, PCOS is closely linked to gender roles and is considered to be a problem largely because it interferes with women's traditional function as sex objects and breeders.

4) General trends over the last 30 years or so to broaden diagnostic criteria (to be able to sell more pharmaceuticals to more people?) PCOS diagnosis used to be limited to infertile, obese, extremely hairy women who had clear medical issues related to it.

There are now large numbers of women being diagnosed with it who are thin and have regular periods, but who are considered to have above average levels of body hair and acne (although normal levels have not been established). Supposedly they're still at risk of fertililty issues and diabetes, though who knows how accurate that is, with current research standards. If these women actually have an issue, it would probably be adrenal PCOS, which is caused by stress on the body (which could be dieting, overly strenuous exercise, psychological stress, etc). Doctors seem to be reluctant to tell their patients to change their "healthy" lifestyle, because they're currently mostly just drug dealers for the pharmaceutical industry, and they have an unscientific "you can never be too thin" mentality.

PCOS diagnosis is particularly pernicious with teenagers, and some doctors are now taking the position that it shouldn't be diagnosed in adolescents, because the female monthly hormonal cycle is complex and can take a while to stabilize. Around 90% of teenage girls have ovaries that would meet PCOS criteria if given an ultrasound exam, so pretty much any teenager who their doctor thinks looks masculine (which could be due to chosen practices, like not using makeup or removing hair) can be diagnosed with it. Many trans and detrans FTMs mention having been diagnosed with it as a teenager, which is probably often very psychologically harmful. Some have said that their doctors told them they were intersex because they had PCOS or because they had high androgen levels, though no actual intersex condition was diagnosed. A lot of doctors are extremely uncomfortable with GNC females.

A lot of doctors seem to think that if a female is not conventionally attractive, that's a medical issue that requires treatment. There's often a strong misogynistic/lesbophobic/anti-GNC element to PCOS diagnosis. There's a failure to establish legitimate harms to health.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Q: How can you tell when Lily is out of town?
A: Joe makes a big performative "I LOVE MALLORY!!!!!" post:



He gives zero fucks whether she looks nice in the pics or not.


This is my favorite one, I can count at least eight pairs of sunglasses on a tacky lucite display rack in the background, and there are probably eight more pairs out of frame. Current season sunglasses from the tai tai brands that Joe prefers (Gucci, Fendi, etc) run between $380-$550 on average (with outliers up to $1200). lol.


Whoever pointed out upthread that their HALF MILLION dollars in Substack advance money could have been a down payment, that really struck me. They could have owned their own place; instead they Joe chose a grip of hideous sunglasses that have next to no value anymore. Yaaaay:


So happyyy.


Best decision everrrr.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Whoever pointed out upthread that their HALF MILLION dollars in Substack advance money could have been a down payment, that really struck me. They could have owned their own place; instead they Joe chose a grip of hideous sunglasses that have next to no resale value. Yay!

Well, he's a woman now so he's naturally bad with money and numbers, teehee.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Joe must not have been too sick, he's still fat.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Well, he's a woman now so he's naturally bad with money and numbers, teehee.

You kid but I bet Joe privately does think that it's "feminine" not to pull his weight in the relationship. This is a couple who are both terrible at managing adult responsibilities--Mallory's lack of health insurance, Joe's immigration status, their finances, and so much more--and it's clear neither one of them is planning to step up to the plate any time soon.

Married partners working together on life stuff can be a great thing. They can cover each other's weaknesses and be more functional as a team than they would be separately. Think about the time Joe bragged about covering Mallory's weaknesses: he "took over" the attention-seeking social media shitposting during the height of the Pedo Johnny scandal. Gee, thanks. Great contribution.

Joe and Mallory together are just as incompetent as they were before, actually even worse, because Joe shits all over the marriage itself by strongarming Mallory into polyamory.

 

[Bani]

Joe has been boring and quiet so I’m going to assume one of two things:

He’s really sick and is ashamed of his behavior or has the good sense to know he was too open with his callous spread of germs


Or

He’s running all around town and doesn’t want people to know.

Also I’m disappointed by the glimpses we have of his book. It sounds boring. I’m so bored with everything I’ve heard about it, I don’t think I will read it after all.

What a blah Joe week. It makes me realize that his relationships with his ménage a trois is the most interesting thing about him and without that he’s a big snooze. No wonder he posts about that a lot. Even he realizes you can dress yourself in wild mismatched colors and obsessively ferment things and still need some real vag to spice yourself up. Do transwomen need real women to be more exciting themselves? Is this part of the allure?

It all kind of makes sense if you think about it. He’s desperate for attention but he himself is boring. So he clothes himself in a different identity. Wears other people’s garish inventions made more garish by mismatch and inappropriate settings.
He tries to spice up his life with real women. He needs to tell a new dick joke every minute on IG.

Joe is boring. Joe knows he’s boring. He has to struggle to get enough attentionnarcissistic supply.

I’m exhausted thinking about his addictive needs for pleasure and attention.

Through this lens it all makes sense: he’s addicted to sensory seeking AND attention. But he himself is boring and he feels insecure about it. So knuckle tattoos, dirty jokes, shocking behavior that is clearly performed and not authentically produced, and a constant parade of oddities all performed publicly is what he’s doing to meet his addictive hedonistic needs including attention seeking.

Since he’s not attention seeking right now… something is up. I think he realized he got caught breaking Covid rules.

You think Joe feels shame? Are we reading the same thread here?

 

[Trianon]

@NopeNoJustNo

PCOS diagnosis is particularly pernicious with teenagers, and some doctors are now taking the position that it shouldn't be diagnosed in adolescents, because the female monthly hormonal cycle is complex and can take a while to stabilize.

My first year was wildly inconsistent, and it probably took two years to come on the dot every time. And that's not considering how prone it is to changes from weight/exercise/stress.

It is really weird that she said it was an issue at 10-11 for her. If anything, you'd think precocious puberty would be the issue at that age.

Q: How can you tell when Lily is out of town?
A: Joe makes a big performative "I LOVE MALLORY!!!!!" post:

View attachment 2577446

He gives zero fucks whether she looks nice in the pics or not.
View attachment 2577445

This is my favorite one, I can count at least eight pairs of sunglasses on a tacky lucite display rack in the background, and there are probably eight more pairs out of frame. Current season sunglasses from the tai tai brands that Joe prefers (Gucci, Fendi, etc) run between $380-$550 on average (with outliers up to $1200). lol.
View attachment 2577444

Whoever pointed out upthread that their HALF MILLION dollars in Substack advance money could have been a down payment, that really struck me. They could have owned their own place; instead they Joe chose a grip of hideous sunglasses that have next to no value anymore. Yaaaay:
View attachment 2577487

So happyyy.
View attachment 2577494

Best decision everrrr.
View attachment 2577499

They are both typical conSOOMers who can't think of anything to buy except plastic shit.

I also love Mallory sticking out her lower jaw like a damn Habsburg in an attempt to look manly. Horrid.

 

[mold]

It is really weird that she said it was an issue at 10-11 for her. If anything, you'd think precocious puberty would be the issue at that age.

no, it's not weird, people are confusing early puberty with menarche.

 

[Guapmala]

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All the comments are people telling him it is absolutely standard to be sick for two weeks, vaxxed or no.

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"Poors are yelling at me!"
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Spoiler

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I did not know this about her, but it led me to an excerpt from Something That May Shock and Discredit You:
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PCOS can often lead to excess weight gain, and managing that weight can reduce a lot of symptoms. Perhaps liposuction was eventually seen as a treatment for her PCOS, which does not just affect appearance but can lead to diabetes.

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It’s damn disingenuous of her to try and frame PCOS treatment as being placed on “feminizing hormones”. They put girls on hormones to help regulate their natural hormones, not to “feminize” them. But I guess this is to be expected from someone writing a book about really being a man.

I have a hard time believing she was taken to a doctor for “puberty stalling” simply because 11 or 12 is still way too young for concern about that. Doctors start to worry about lack of puberty in 15 or 16 year olds.

Most adolescent girls get Dx with PCOS due to heavy painful periods, hair growth and weight gain or not starting their period by 15 or 16 years of age. (PCOS tends to either cause an early or late start to menstruation.)

I could see her mother taking her to the doctor due to unsightly hair growth or weight gain. But no doctor would be concerned by lack of puberty at 11/12. I think 12/13 is the dead average age for expected puberty development.

There’s no way the liposuction had anything to do with PCOS or anything but cosmetic appearance. Liposuction simply targets small pockets of fat in places women don’t like - usually the waist, hips, belly. It has no effect on helping obesity or diabetes. Actually you can’t get liposuction if you are really obese, it’s pointless. It’s why they do gastric sleeves instead of liposuction to treat morbidly obese ppl. You will lose, at most six or seven pounds via lipo - removing any more is considered very risky.

The "PCOS to trans pipeline" happens because PCOS gives women higher than normal levels of testosterone, causing hirsutism and non-standard weight distribution patterns.

So what you really have is a "dumpy, hairy girl who gets dunked on by all her school bullies for looking mannish to trans" pipeline, and that's fucking sad. I've said it before and will say it again, a major tenet of troon theory is that everyone's high school bullies were right all along. Dumpy, hairy girls just aren't real girls!

That really stood out to me too. Maybe that would apply if you are unfortunate enough to grow heavy facial hair without it. But the hormones are what your body needs to function internally. There's nothing feminizing about getting what your body needs.


It's like she truly thinks having PCOS or anything similar means she should have been able to choose to be a man or a woman! Her resentment over taking hormones early is similar to troons constantly saying puberty is a curse and it's being forced on you by someone. Mallory heard this and thought, "Wow, that literally applied to me, I could have been a man this whole time. I want PCOS, it's good actually."

That's a very different reaction than someone who does all they can with treatment and has to accept that it can only help them so much. There is still something wrong with their bodies, but they have to learn to be OK with the fact that they are hairier than some and that having a kid of their own might be hard. But Mallory's worldview can't allow any stigma or shame, including the idea that something can be wrong with your body. Her "cure," transmedicalism, isn't a cure at all; it's leaning into the disease and telling us it's Who You Really Are, instead of letting it be a neutral-to-bad thing that you have to learn to live with.

Just want to clear things up: There are multiple subtypes of PCOS, one of which is called "lean PCOS." These women are thin, don't have any of the physical features of PCOS, nor any of the issues with insulin resistance. They're one of the more difficult types of PCOS to treat.

There's a misconception that PCOS only happens to ugly, dumpy, hairy girls — but this is simply not the case.

Anyway, carry on and keep dunking on Superspreader Joe.

Mallory is a dumb cunt. I almost got MATI.
If there was ever an example of body dysmorphoria manifesting as gender dysphoria it's her.
You don't like your weight gain, fat distribution, shitty period symptoms, being hairy, and having mental issues? You must be a man!

Spoiler: PCOS shit

There are a few objective criteria for diagnosing PCOS. The fact clinicians don't follow them probably has more to do with a desire to alleviate period symptoms.
A lot of people have ovarion cysts without symptoms. There are certain types of follicular cyst growth that are considered typical PCOS presentation. However, it's also possible the ultrasounds don't catch certain things. Technically, PCOS can exist without observed cysts. The best measure is testosterone level. Elevated serum testosterone plus a specific type of fat distribution, acne, hirutism, possible infertility, and serious menstrual issues (lack of a period or atypical symptoms) are the general combination. Acne and hirutism are harder to objectively measure, but it is less about amount of acne or hair, and more about distribution. The nature of the hair is also important as it has "masculine" qualities, like thickness and rate of growth. Acne is harder but a lot of times if you suppress androgens (Spiro) because of other PCOS symptoms certain types of cystic acne will stop appearing.
Just to add some more detail, the fat structure is also very different, which is only just coming to light based on info coming from cosmetic surgeons who perform liposuction. Even if a woman is not obese, but has had PCOS related weight gain, the structure of the fat exihibits a honeycomb pattern that is typical of patients with lifelong, serious obesity and type II diabetes.

All that matters here is that Mallory is looking for any biological excuse to justify that she is a man or should have been a man.

 

[Trianon]

Mallory is still planning on bottom surgery (I think it was originally scheduled for next month, so watch out). This is a subscriber's only post, but here's a Twitter excerpt.

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Mallory: I'm not repressed! I'm allowed to want things! I want a tube of meat attached to me!
You know what, you're not allowed to want things if this is what you're going to go for.

Bets on how this will shape the Lavery household dynamics?

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

I really want Mallory to get the franken dick. Then I want her to force both Joe and home wrecker (why can't I remember that bitch's name?) to suck it. That would be hilarious. Bonus points if she pegs Joe with it.

 

[Holiday of no return]

Mallory is still planning on bottom surgery (I think it was originally scheduled for next month, so watch out). This is a subscriber's only post, but here's a Twitter excerpt.

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Mallory: I'm not repressed! I'm allowed to want things! I want a tube of meat attached to me!
You know what, you're not allowed to want things if this is what you're going to go for.

Bets on how this will shape the Lavery household dynamics?

Well, neodicks do have hair growing on the outside and on the inside, so science is closer to the satyr fantasy than Mallory might think!

 

[Prescription Bugs]

I really want Mallory to get the franken dick. Then I want her to force both Joe and home wrecker (why can't I remember that bitch's name?) to suck it. That would be hilarious. Bonus points if she pegs Joe with it.

Is that even possible? Even with the pump up kind? Further, what kind of infections are possible with skin grafts etc and pegging?

Unless you once had a penis and lost it due to an accident or something, getting a fake penis seems to be some of the worst judgment out there.

 

[Mealy Mouth Spittle]

Is that even possible? Even with the pump up kind? Further, what kind of infections are possible with skin grafts etc and pegging?

Unless you once had a penis and lost it due to an accident or something, getting a fake penis seems to be some of the worst judgment out there.

I actually have no idea if it is possible, but it seems kind of silly to get a franken dick if you can't even penetrate someone with it. Joe and home wrecker could still suck it, though, and it would be even funnier if they had to do it to a completely flaccid franken dick.

I wonder if they leave the clit intact and just sew the fake dong on underneath it? I've seen a lot of the neo-vag horrors out there but not much about the FtM GRS horror show outcomes.

 

[Prescription Bugs]

I actually have no idea if it is possible, but it seems kind of silly to get a franken dick if you can't even penetrate someone with it. Joe and home wrecker could still suck it, though, and it would be even funnier if they had to do it to a completely flaccid franken dick.

I wonder if they leave the clit intact and just sew the fake dong on underneath it? I've seen a lot of the neo-vag horrors out there but not much about the FtM GRS horror show outcomes.

There’s a good thread here. I think the SRS thread? Some are quite nice and normal looking and some look like someone took a hot dog bun and sewed muppet hair on it. Besides the impracticality of sewing a frankenpenis on a body for long term ornamental use, the part that is stunningly strange for me is the skin harvesting.

It used to be that the only people who did this were those who had suffered a serious accident and lost a penis or for whatever reason had to have a major penis reconstruction surgery. I know someone who had severe hypospadias that resulted in so many terrible infections they had to remove a testicle and reconstruct his penis, harvesting mucosal tissue from his mouth. The entire situation was life threatening and not some casual thing. But THIS, this is elective, mostly for looks and self esteem (it won’t work, brosky), prone to infection, and worse the skin of the abdomen, leg, or arm are peeled and harvested leaving at best a thinner, reddened area that looks perpetually burned and at worst leaving a hugely disfiguring scar.

I mean I cannot imagine a bigger, more disturbing form of affirming mental illness, self harm, and delusions than this.

This is what I mean when I say I can’t just that kind of judgment anymore. If you are this bad off that you need to do this, I simply can’t trust your judgment. Not to watch kids, make money decisions, take care of pets, become a legal guardian. This is someone who has no imagination or foresight to think about what happens next.

I don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but I look around at 2021 and feel like I’ve woken up in a bizarre American Horror Story world at times.

This ain’t normal, guys. I’m not pretending it is. And further, this is where social transition of trans kids and trans teens can lead. So I’m not doing that either.


Accept your body. Learn to live with it. Keep it healthy. Do what you can to help it be old and healthy someday.

A frankenpenis is not that. What exactly is the plan for a 78 year old with a flaccid, non functioning frankenpenis? Take antibiotics all the time to avoid UTI? How exactly would a diaper work for incontinence? That’s a kidney infection and sepsis waiting to happen.

Our bodies largely know how to handle infection. You start slicing stuff up and moving it? You are asking for health problems down the road. At best. At absolute best, I bet people won’t even get 20 years before something else needs to happen. Why do this to yourself? Just wear a flannel, boots and a Carhart and be a manly woman. Have some pride.

Edit: Oh, and I believe they sew the dong above the clitoris, a dorky bonus appendage off the mons.

 

[Potatis Salad]

Mallory is still planning on bottom surgery (I think it was originally scheduled for next month, so watch out). This is a subscriber's only post, but here's a Twitter excerpt.

View attachment 2585416
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Mallory: I'm not repressed! I'm allowed to want things! I want a tube of meat attached to me!
You know what, you're not allowed to want things if this is what you're going to go for.

Bets on how this will shape the Lavery household dynamics?

Mallory has written at least two and maybe more other articles with the exact same weird conceit. The thought of her trying to be a ""guy"" is so fucking pathetic; I can't wait for the sausage dick saga.

 

[Help Me Move This Table]

BRB, gonna check in with my imaginary friends that it’s actually fine for me to want to develop a cocaine addiction. Cocaine is a real thing I can buy, after all. And I want it, right? Some people have problems but many others don’t. Cocaine is science, and doctors use it for medicine sometimes. Are doctors dumb? No. I’m smart, very smart, and simply weighing the pros and cons of my desires. (With myself, in my head.) Also, as a very smart person everything I have ever wanted is good. Smart = good. Dad = bad. I’m just really not sure what the hubbub is about!! All’s I know is I will NOT piss on my haters when they’re on fire because I have to be super careful about peeing since I got the dongle stapled on.

 

[Prescription Bugs]

Mallory has written at least two and maybe more other articles with the exact same weird conceit. The thought of her trying to be a ""guy"" is so fucking pathetic; I can't wait for the sausage dick saga.

I’ll admit, it will take this train wreck and move it up to a whole new level of train wreck!

 

[Constellationzero]

I also love Mallory sticking out her lower jaw like a damn Habsburg in an attempt to look manly. Horrid.

Herple de derple, it's just meeee, stickin' mah jaw out like all butch lezbeens an' bein' funneh and quirkeh! ((eyes dart sideways)) Aren't I funneh? LOOK, I just said something funneh an' quirkehhhhh! ((eyes dart sideways))

 

[3MMA]

Bets on how this will shape the Lavery household dynamics?

It’s all for attention at this point. Moe will have complications & play her sick role, to garner attention, support, & what she is currently calling love.

Joe will stroll through greener pastures, with vagina’s lining the way. Lily or someone new, if Lily drops off. Lily will likely drop off, as the mistress, experiencing one of the main couple members be so sick, so ill, it will affect her into feeling less powerful or needed, & Joe will go where he can stick his dick.

Moe will continue her transformation into this horrid selfish beast, which she calls man.

These are just the quick, off the top of my head, bets on household dynamics. Main take away will be, as usual, oceans of regret.