The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
Another one tweeted about whatever the hell this jumble of words is supposed to mean. [A]
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It seems to me this man is working on some kind of romanization program for foreign languages, which is actually somewhat more worthwhile than what the tranch is doing. Sadly it's also far more boring, so there's not much to say other than that's what he's doing currently.

It's definitely a romanization/transliteration program -- specifically, for Taiwainese dialects of Chinese (Mandarin dialect and Hokkien dialect). Bopomofo is a Chinese romanization system that was developed in pre-Communist China by the Republican government (around 1910), and was a common alternative to the much more widely-used Wade-Giles system.

After the Communist Revolution, Beijing replaced it with the Bei-Da (Beijing DaXia, or Beijing University) Pinyin system of romanization. Taiwan wasn't about to use the Commie romanization, but didn't want to use the Western-developed Wade-Giles (which does admittedly suck absolute ass), so they kept alive the old Bopomofo system, primarily for the 2 main Taiwainese dialects, but it can still be used with any form of Chinese. (per the Tweet, Putonghua == literally Mandarin for "Chinese Words")

Why the fuck they're talking about using it in conjunction with Western languages like Greek or Serbian beats the hell out of me, unless they're trying to hack together something vaguely like how Japanese has katakana/romaji which can be used for transliterating foreign languages into something phonetically pronounceable by Japanese speakers.
 
Why the fuck they're talking about using it in conjunction with Western languages like Greek or Serbian beats the hell out of me, unless they're trying to hack together something vaguely like how Japanese has katakana/romaji which can be used for transliterating foreign languages into something phonetically pronounceable by Japanese speakers.
Hm. Sounds like a worthwhile endeavor, when compared to what the men of the tranch are doing. But I doubt it will be widely used.
 
Your poor romantic partner is going to the hospital and instead of helping them by being alert, helping them answer questions, talking and doing stationary activities with them for entertainment and to calm them, and possibly helping them by driving home, you ask people to help buy you weed so you are fucking useless to your partner in the hospital (and might trigger a coughing fit from other patients depending on how you took it and how much).

Consider: sucking it up and understanding this is bigger than your fucking needs asshole. Or stay home so you can be useless in private.
 
Your poor romantic partner is going to the hospital and instead of helping them by being alert, helping them answer questions, talking and doing stationary activities with them for entertainment and to calm them, and possibly helping them by driving home, you ask people to help buy you weed so you are fucking useless to your partner in the hospital (and might trigger a coughing fit from other patients depending on how you took it and how much).

Consider: sucking it up and understanding this is bigger than your fucking needs asshole. Or stay home so you can be useless in private.

Lol relax this is fucking hilarious. This is why I love Kevin so much. He just Kevins around being a useless sack of shit and letting the world know how useless he is. The most important person in the world to him - his dom, who provides food and shelter for him - is going to the hospital, and all Kevin wants to do is play with toys, watch my little pony, get stoned, and stick his pinkie finger in his amhole.

if he had bothered to rub both of his brain cells together before tweeting, kevin could have claimed needing potential help with medical expenses and skimmed off it. But he’s a bumbling oaf so he just told us all. I love the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch Denizens (TURDs). I would never want to get within a mile of them, but few threads have ever made me cry from laughing so hard.
 
Lol relax this is fucking hilarious. This is why I love Kevin so much. He just Kevins around being a useless sack of shit and letting the world know how useless he is. The most important person in the world to him - his dom, who provides food and shelter for him - is going to the hospital, and all Kevin wants to do is play with toys, watch my little pony, get stoned, and stick his pinkie finger in his amhole.

if he had bothered to rub both of his brain cells together before tweeting, kevin could have claimed needing potential help with medical expenses and skimmed off it. But he’s a bumbling oaf so he just told us all. I love the Tenacious Unicorn Ranch Denizens (TURDs). I would never want to get within a mile of them, but few threads have ever made me cry from laughing so hard.
But reeeeeeee.... :(

Honestly the Troon Crew has given me much more laughter than pain at this point. KevKev being completely useless in the emergency room and asking stupid questions and giggling at nothing is really fucking funny, I just wanted to drive home how stupid and selfish he is to do it. I went to the hospital and still had to babysit my stoner little boyfriend is a great name for a really shitty light novel too!
 
100% they just bought in bulk from the coffee shop, and are reselling at an inflated (no pun intended) rate. in b4 someone sees or realizes this and contacts the only coffee shop in town they're allowed to go to.
That's exactly what they're doing.
 
Well it was one thing back before we had seperate threads for Kevin and the Tranch, but imho Fear and Loathing in Alpacaland is more fun (and informative) than Kevin tweeting ~oooOOOOH goddess I'm just a musky little cumslut who needs to be bred 😫😫💦💦💦 hfdjjdh~ ten billion times a day.
Idk, to each their own right?
There's more to Kevin than coom posting on Twitter. There's his constant failures at relationships. That time he was dropped off to watch cartoons at a furry con while his 2 """girlfriends""" ass fucked each other in a hotel room. There's his Transformers habit paid for by retards who donate to him. He has an inflation fetish so he decided to gain 150lbs. And of course, he is the super massive black hole that a troon galaxy rotates around.

I love Kevin. He has that "it" factor that makes him the main attraction of a traveling circus.
 
There's more to Kevin than coom posting on Twitter. There's his constant failures at relationships. That time he was dropped off to watch cartoons at a furry con while his 2 """girlfriends""" ass fucked each other in a hotel room. There's his Transformers habit paid for by retards who donate to him. He has an inflation fetish so he decided to gain 150lbs. And of course, he is the super massive black hole that a troon galaxy rotates around.

I love Kevin. He has that "it" factor that makes him the main attraction of a traveling circus.
He is The Fattest Man Alive and The Bearded Lady, all rolled up in a soft sourdough taco, with 41% fat Tranch dressing.
 
That's exactly what they're doing.
LOL, I checked out the "About the Roaster" bio info and this stood out to me:

A marriage and two kids later, this passion collided with our true calling to serve Jesus and the Gospel as we took an opportunity to manage a small cafe in Kathmandu, Nepal, just after the great earthquake in 2015.

Peregrine Coffee Roasters (formerly Crestone Coffee Co.) has become just that—dedicated to creating craft coffee that serves our family, the community, and missionaries around the world. All of our coffee is meticulously sourced and carefully roasted. And twenty percent of every whole bean sale goes directly to missionary families like ours.

They bought wholesale coffee from Jesus freaks. Sure, they get to slap a gay unicorn on the bag, but they are still funding missionary families by doing it. :lol:
 
All of the Kevin Gibes Expanded Universe threads have been moving at a reasonably fast pace lately, and they’re all spilling over into each other now, so forgive me if a few things been discussed already.

The past couple of days have been the Tranch tweeting about their GoFraudMe, Patreon, merch, etc. and retweeting puff pieces on themselves, but they did tweet about their new coffee that’s hit their store. [A], [A]View attachment 2589927View attachment 2589985

Out of curiosity, I visited their shop’s page for it. [A] Here’s some screenshots for the uninitiated.
View attachment 2589928
Nothing too weird. Then you scroll down (I’m a mobilefag, I know (:_(), and then shit gets a bit weird.
View attachment 2589948
Besides the “two bags” capitalization being inconsistent with the other options (lol), we notice right away that they have 2 options for adjusting how many bags you want. But it’s fine, because they have an explanation for this (very professionally written, of course).

View attachment 2589929
I’m not the most savvy when it comes to marketing or buying shit online, but Kiwis who are, tell me- Is this normal?

In terms of the actual Tranchers, they’ve been kind of quiet. However, I will post a couple of tweets from Penny that may or may not have been discussed already.
I find this one interesting not because he shared a selfie that will inevitably face ridicule, but because Bonnie replied to it. [A]
Why is their coffee so fucking expensive? Most fancy coffee roaster shops don't sell bags of their best roasts for that that much, and hiding the shipping costs in the total bag price still doesn't account for the markup. You sneaky, grifting fucks.
 
Why is their coffee so fucking expensive? Most fancy coffee roaster shops don't sell bags of their best roasts for that that much, and hiding the shipping costs in the total bag price still doesn't account for the markup. You sneaky, grifting fucks.
Mild PL but this coffee scam kind of reminds me of how when I was in school, the slow class would have occasional bake sales. The Tranch operates in the exact opposite way this class did, because those kids sold tasty treats at reasonable prices. The whole fucking school looked forward to Special Ed Bake Sale Day because your money was going to buy delicious fresh-out-of-the-oven cookies instead of crushed graham crackers and pubic hair in a $5 bag labeled “FUCK YOU.”
 
They bought wholesale coffee from Jesus freaks. Sure, they get to slap a gay unicorn on the bag, but they are still funding missionary families by doing it.
I don't think this will ever appear on a callout post for them. I mean, this requires 10 minutes of research and putting things together, how's a regular twatter gonna do that?

Either way, :story:. Helping pray away the gay one bag of coffee at a time.
 
Ah yes, the glorious LGBTQWTFBBQ warriors of the Tranch and their proud support for christian missionaries clearly shown by the former group's willingness to buy stupidly over-priced coffee from the latter in-between the daily dilation and alpaca molesting sessions. I haven't laughed this hard since the Barbussy saga began.
 
They bought wholesale coffee from Jesus freaks. Sure, they get to slap a gay unicorn on the bag, but they are still funding missionary families by doing it. :lol:
All is done for the glory of God indeed. Sucks to be the men of the tranch right now. I'm guessing someone will tell them about this company eventually. Whether they do or not, though, is a win-win situation for the missionaries.
 
Why is their coffee so fucking expensive? Most fancy coffee roaster shops don't sell bags of their best roasts for that that much, and hiding the shipping costs in the total bag price still doesn't account for the markup. You sneaky, grifting fucks.

DONT BE TRANSPHOBIC WE ARE SELF SUSTAINING YOU ARE LITERALLY TRYING TO KILL US SMASH THE FASH REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE anyways how large an order will you be placing?
 
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