Speaking as one, most of us grew up, cut our hair, and got on with our lives, same as the punks and hippies before us.
I think what changed is superficial identities became the lynchpin of people's entire lives, so whereas goths could be goth but still hang around with different types of people and do normal shit --if you don't have at least one photo of you in the full gear at a family dinner surrounded by confused elderly relatives were you even a goth??-- the modern genderspecials need everyone and everything to conform to their head-canon or they flip the fuck out.