Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[kukkahattutäti]

Jesus-chan sits on a prayer rug with a pack of yugioh-cards and challenges other deities to a d-d-d-d-d-d-duel.

 

[Jeffrey Lebowski]

The Dimensions have Merged. I Hope They Bring A Good Lawyer, Though...

 

[Professor Iris]

The Letter of Saint Messiah Sonichu to the Engles.

Sorry, Chris, but last I checked, Jesus wasn't some deranged rapist who claimed that his actions was some 'divine mission.'
Also, if you think you deserve a FULL PARDON for that, kindly climb on to the prison's roof, take a flying leap, and attempt to do a body-swap with Angelica Rosechu to save yourself.

 

[Marche]

I'm glad he is doing well.

 

[SaltyFanta]

I feel sorry for the guard who has to read through Chris' letters.

 

[Elbe]

sincerely, God

OK.

 

[Barry Scott]

And I saw when Sonichu opened one of the seals, and I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a golden medallion: and he that wore it had a bow; and a crown was given unto him: and he went forth conquering, and to conquer.

 

[Big Fat Frog]

“I fucked my mom to free her from sin and make her live longer.”

 

[Lost god]

"Temporary soul partner, a holy flame type (on her repentance tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good."

Chris has made a protection deal.

 

[Catloaf]

Prison saga with CWC claiming that he's the reincarnation of Jesus and STILL begging for money as always. This is beyond autism at this rate. It's just his biggest schizo moment

 

[Count Olaf]

He's only been incarcerated for--How long? Oh there's a counter on the CWCki, that's helpful--69 days (nice) and now he's literally taken the Lord's name in vain AND added the cross to his own "divine" symbol. With that and his request demand to have everyone call the Governor or Pedophile in Chief to give him a full pardon I reaaaaaally can't wait to see how he reacts if he's handed lengthy jail time.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I feel sorry for the guard who has to read through Chris' letters.

If you look at the back of the envelope you'll see it's not getting read by the Jail.

 

[Eydallur]

What had happened was Literally a Divine Mission, commissioned to Christine and I by Emanuel (GOD above Gods), herself, to Heal and Cleanse Barbara’s health and soul and being and Clear her of remaining sins and regrets through Cuddling, Talking, and Supportive Soul Bonding to mainly Extend her Life, personally, by Divine Intervention.

I don't think this will play well in court.

 

[©©©]

Oh sweet Christine Jesus I want to read those Daily Goddess Logs.

 

[NIA-DOA 2.0]

"High-Functioning"? More like "High-MALfunctioning ", amirite?

 

[Bumwine]

He's really becoming the GG Allin of Lolcowdom, same level of religious delusion while in jail for rape

 

[Deranged Jew]

I don't think this will play well in court.

It more than likely won't be used in court because of the fact it hasn't been read by the guards.

Hopefully we get some real entertaining court room chimp out footage soon. I want to see Jesus stomping his feet and having outbursts when not addressed as such. How many times has he freaked out on guards about referring to him as Christian or a number? Some ween needs to get a job as a guard(read: stay away).

 

[Probably An Autist]

"all prayers to jesus have been going to [chris] for nearly40 years now"

classic chris died for this

 

[Greasy Spoon]

We can send money to Aryan Brotherhood to shove another medallion up his ass.

"I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type you may Remember (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good,"


Also surely requesting a pardon is Chris admitting that he knows what he did was wrong? (I realise he obviously doesn't care)
Otherwise he'd just demand to be released, along with reparations for wrongful imprisonment or something like that.
Through all the bluster, I think he realises the noose is tightening.

 

[©©©]

"I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type you may Remember (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe, well, not abused, and good,"

He dropped the soap and found a friend.