Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

[Staffy]

That fucking silent hill note/clue writing

 

[easy]

"I have a temporary Soul Partner, a Holy Flame Type you may Remember (on her repentence tour) keeping me safe"

I initially wondered wtf he meant by this, thinking that maybe Chris had started bottoming for protection, but i think i figured it out.

>holy flame
>repentance tour

I think he means delusions of this ghost girl from danny phantom (her name is Ember, she is heavily associated with fire in the episode, she went on tour). You might think i'm retarded, but i'll explain.
This is the character that was the focal point for Randy Stair's homicidal delusions, and then later before the ILJ saga kicked off, WCT/Sean Walker was feeding Chris delusions about Randy Stair and Embers' Ghost Squad, adding Randy Stair's murderious schizophrenia to the mix of Chris' psychosis.

If i'm not wrong, Chris' companion in prison is the inherited tulpa/delusion of a mass shooter. lovely

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

I wonder if Chris' use of the word goodies is influenced by LittleBigPlanet having a page in the inventory called Goodies bag.

He's likely picked it up from British TV it's used here quite commonly for things like sweets, small toys, etc in relation to kids.

 

[Umaru Doma]

What I wouldn't give to read Chris's prison diary until my brain leaked from my ears... Give it a few years to get really juicy, and maybe there's a way to get it independently published?

If I remember correctly, prisoners can't earn money on books they write/are written about them while they're still serving time, something to do with one of the famous serial killers earning absurd amounts that way in the past. So it's basically a win/win.

 

[Phalanges Mycologist]

If I remember correctly, prisoners can't earn money on books they write/are written about them while they're still serving time, something to do with one of the famous serial killers earning absurd amounts that way in the past. So it's basically a win/win.

If I am rembering this correctly, if it's directly relating to there crime during the time they are in prison they can't proffit off it, however they can publish other works. and after prison it's free game.

 

[Un Platano]

Also surely requesting a pardon is Chris admitting that he knows what he did was wrong?

Virginia has 3 different types of pardons: simple pardons, conditional pardons, and absolute pardons. Simple and conditional pardons can carry an admission of guilt, while absolute pardons do not. Being that Chris requested pardons from the president and the "governor of Ruckersville," which are none of these, he's so far out in the left field that it's not something they can even evaluate. By requesting a presidential pardon for a state crime he hasn't been convicted of yet, he has admitted to being guilty of being an idiot, and that's not a crime.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Jeez, I get back from Mass and this happens?

Nah, he'll probably shit on the prayer rug though. Bet the Allah botherers will just LOVE that.

They'll love it even more when he says he's Mohammed's reincarnation. Which I could honestly see him doing if he has a "Turkish prayer rug" and a Muslim in jail tries to preach to him.

If you're wondering what Malachi 3 and 4 are, I'll quote them in the Douay-Rheims version (the Bible version I use) and the NIV (the one Chris uses):

The Douay-Rheims Bible marks footnotes with underlining. If a passage is underlined that means there's a footnote relating to it. The footnotes in these two chapters give a Catholic interpretation of the text, which in this case is that the chapters refer to Jesus coming down from Heaven and to the conversion of the Jews. As Chris isn't a Catholic you can probably ignore the footnotes, but I've left them in to provide some context.

Behold I send my angel, and he shall prepare the way before my face. And presently the Lord, whom you seek, and the angel of the testament, whom you desire, shall come to his temple. Behold he cometh, saith the Lord of hosts. And who shall be able to think of the day of his coming? and who shall stand to see him? for he is like a refining fire, and like the fuller's herb: And he shall sit refining and cleansing the silver, and he shall purify the sons of Levi, and shall refine them as gold, and as silver, and they shall offer sacrifices to the Lord in justice. And the sacrifice of Juda and of Jerusalem shall please the Lord, as in the days of old, and in the ancient years. And I will come to you in judgment, and will be a speedy witness against sorcerers, and adulterers, and false swearers, and them that oppress the hireling in his wages; the widows, and the fatherless: and oppress the stranger, and have not feared me, saith the Lord of hosts.

"My angel": Viz., John the Baptist, the messenger of God, and forerunner of Christ.

For I am the Lord, and I change not: and you the sons of Jacob are not consumed. For from the days of your fathers you have departed from my ordinances, and have not kept them: Return to me, and I will return to you, saith the Lord of hosts. And you have said: Wherein shall we return? Shall a man afflict God? for you afflict me. And you have said: Wherein do we afflict thee? in tithes and in firstfruits. And you are cursed with want, and you afflict me, even the whole nation of you. Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in my house, and try me in this, saith the Lord: if I open not unto you the flood-gates of heaven, and pour you out a blessing even to abundance.

And I will rebuke for your sakes the devourer, and he shall not spoil the fruit of your land: neither shall the vine in the field be barren, saith the Lord of hosts. And all nations shall call you blessed: for you shall be a delightful land, saith the Lord of hosts. Your words have been unsufferable to me, saith the Lord. And you have said: What have we spoken against thee? You have said: He laboureth in vain that serveth God, and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinances, and that we have walked sorrowful before the Lord of hosts? Wherefore now we call the proud people happy, for they that work wickedness are built up, and they have tempted God and are preserved.

Then they that feared the Lord spoke every one with his neighbour: and the Lord gave ear, and heard it: and a book of remembrance was written before him for them that fear the Lord, and think on his name. And they shall be my special possession, saith the Lord of hosts, in the day that I do judgment: and I will spare them, as a man spareth his son that serveth him. And you shall return, and shall see the difference between the just and the wicked: and between him that serveth God, and him that serveth him not.

For behold the day shall come kindled as a furnace: and all the proud, and all that do wickedly shall be stubble: and the day that cometh shall set them on fire, saith the Lord of hosts, it shall not leave them root, nor branch. But unto you that fear my name, the Sun of justice shall arise, and health in his wings: and you shall go forth, and shall leap like calves of the herd. And you shall tread down the wicked when they shall be ashes under the sole of your feet in the day that I do this, saith the Lord of hosts. Remember the law of Moses my servant, which I commanded him in Horeb for all Israel, the precepts, and judgments. Behold I will send you Elias the prophet, before the coming of the great and dreadful day of the Lord.

And he shall turn the heart of the fathers to the children, and the heart of the children to their fathers: lest I come, and strike the earth with anathema.

[6] "He shall turn the heart": By bringing over the Jews to the faith of Christ, he shall reconcile them to their fathers, viz., the patriarchs and prophets; whose hearts for many ages have been turned away from them, because of their refusing to believe in Christ.-- Ibid.

[6] "With anathema": In the Hebrew, Cherem, that is, with utter destruction.

The NIV doesn't have any footnotes in these two chapters - it does have headings before each section of a chapter. Chris' interpretation of the Bible is probably based off what these headings say, and given that he's said that he's Jesus he's probably using these verses to say that people are "speaking arrogantly" against him and that "the arrogant", ie Josh, will be "set on fire". As I said on the thread about his last letter, Chris is probably using these quotes because he knows not to insult Josh in a letter but he wants to find some way of "getting back" at Josh.

“I will send my messenger, who will prepare the way before me. Then suddenly the Lord you are seeking will come to his temple; the messenger of the covenant, whom you desire, will come,” says the Lord Almighty. But who can endure the day of his coming? Who can stand when he appears? For he will be like a refiner’s fire or a launderer’s soap. He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver; he will purify the Levites and refine them like gold and silver. Then the Lord will have men who will bring offerings in righteousness, and the offerings of Judah and Jerusalem will be acceptable to the Lord, as in days gone by, as in former years. “So I will come to put you on trial. I will be quick to testify against sorcerers, adulterers and perjurers, against those who defraud laborers of their wages, who oppress the widows and the fatherless, and deprive the foreigners among you of justice, but do not fear me,” says the Lord Almighty.

Breaking Covenant by Withholding Tithes​

“I the Lord do not change. So you, the descendants of Jacob, are not destroyed. Ever since the time of your ancestors you have turned away from my decrees and have not kept them. Return to me, and I will return to you,” says the Lord Almighty. “But you ask, ‘How are we to return?’ “Will a mere mortal rob God? Yet you rob me. But you ask, ‘How are we robbing you?’ “In tithes and offerings. You are under a curse—your whole nation—because you are robbing me. Bring the whole tithe into the storehouse, that there may be food in my house. Test me in this,” says the Lord Almighty, “and see if I will not throw open the floodgates of heaven and pour out so much blessing that there will not be room enough to store it. I will prevent pests from devouring your crops, and the vines in your fields will not drop their fruit before it is ripe,” says the Lord Almighty. “Then all the nations will call you blessed, for yours will be a delightful land,” says the Lord Almighty.

Israel Speaks Arrogantly Against God​

“You have spoken arrogantly against me,” says the Lord. “Yet you ask, ‘What have we said against you?’ “You have said, ‘It is futile to serve God. What do we gain by carrying out his requirements and going about like mourners before the Lord Almighty? But now we call the arrogant blessed. Certainly evildoers prosper, and even when they put God to the test, they get away with it.’”

The Faithful Remnant​

Then those who feared the Lord talked with each other, and the Lord listened and heard. A scroll of remembrance was written in his presence concerning those who feared the Lord and honored his name. “On the day when I act,” says the Lord Almighty, “they will be my treasured possession. I will spare them, just as a father has compassion and spares his son who serves him. And you will again see the distinction between the righteous and the wicked, between those who serve God and those who do not.

Judgment and Covenant Renewal​

“Surely the day is coming; it will burn like a furnace. All the arrogant and every evildoer will be stubble, and the day that is coming will set them on fire,” says the Lord Almighty. “Not a root or a branch will be left to them. But for you who revere my name, the sun of righteousness will rise with healing in its rays. And you will go out and frolic like well-fed calves. Then you will trample on the wicked; they will be ashes under the soles of your feet on the day when I act,” says the Lord Almighty. “Remember the law of my servant Moses, the decrees and laws I gave him at Horeb for all Israel. “See, I will send the prophet Elijah to you before that great and dreadful day of the Lord comes. He will turn the hearts of the parents to their children, and the hearts of the children to their parents; or else I will come and strike the land with total destruction.”

 

[Spatula]

Chris chan raped his mother for our sins!

 

[Divine right to rule]

"And lastly, But Importantly, contact the local Virginia Governer of Ruckersville and Charlottesville, VA, as well as President Biden, and get me, Christine’s Body, as well as Christine, herself obviously, a FULL PARDON to get me out of this Jail and mess, Please."



I had lingering doubts if Chris really went completely insane and schizo or if it was just advanced escapism, but those letters cement it for me that he is indeed completely nuts, seriously believes all this, and probably has schizophrenia.
Chris is not smart or cunning enough to fake insanity this well. I underestimated the extent of his madness.

 

[©©©]

Chris chan raped his mother for our sins!

"It was not rape, it was helping her not be so slow in da mind! As commanded by me, Jesus Chan Sonichu!"

 

[Strange Wilderness]

Reading this letter I'd say being in jail has driven Chris insane. Then I remember that this is the guy who got expelled from college for talking to his imaginary electric hedgehog son in front of the dean before shooting an imaginary laser beam at her.

So Chris is Jesus, huh?

I must admit, it's pretty cool of him that he is willing to die for my sins. Thanks, Chris!

(Gotta love how he can't finish his megalomaniacal deranged rant without inserting a random list of cartoons out of the blue)

I noticed that too. Just half a page of autisticly naming the most random cartoon characters imaginable.

 

[Inquisitor_BadAss]

All prayers to Jesus have been going to Chris for nearly 40 years.

And now we know why they were never answered they were being diverted to an autistic kids inbox like some weird version of Bruce Almighty. Also the “temporary soul partner on a penance tour” any clue who he’s referring too? I though it was Barb at first but then he mentioned people dropping of food parcels so I doubt it’s her since she’s still at the family home. Maybe it was a way of referencing himself and seeing his time in jail as some kind of short term thing and not long haul.
It also seems that he still hasn’t had any interaction with the hen pop as of yet if he ever will. The Turkish rug is probably just a spare prayer mat they had lying around so I doubt it’s for being a good boy in lock up.

 

[The Cunting Death]

This just vindicates my theory that the ending to Christory will be like the ending to the movie Brazil

 

[What the shit]

How fucking fitting Chris encouraging people to visit his house without recognizing the potential hazards of that and also asking for monetary donations.

 

[Radical Goodspeed]

Yanno, I still don't think Null should forget the price of showing Chris extended empathy, but I also don't really don't like Chris blaming his crimes and incarceration on the one person who was still sincerely trying to help him.

There is some amount of solace in knowing these letters are probably fucking him harder than the call and bank records though. I haven't seen a legal defense tank this hard since Trump was in office.

I hope Islam treats you well, fattie. Good job in suggesting weens to go harass your senile mom.

 

[©©©]

And now we know why they were never answered they were being diverted to an autistic kids inbox like some weird version of Bruce Almighty. Also the “temporary soul partner on a penance tour” any clue who he’s referring too? I though it was Barb at first but then he mentioned people dropping of food parcels so I doubt it’s her since she’s still at the family home. Maybe it was a way of referencing himself and seeing his time in jail as some kind of short term thing and not long haul.
It also seems that he still hasn’t had any interaction with the hen pop as of yet if he ever will. The Turkish rug is probably just a spare prayer mat they had lying around so I doubt it’s for being a good boy in lock up.

I was curious about that temp thing, too.

At some point in the letter, Chris mentions writing to a "few" different people. We know two of them are Kengle and Null. But what if he's also writing to the Temptress?

Could be Barb. I wouldn't be surprised if she was one of the few that he's writing letters to, even if it isn't.

 

[Aqua Panda]

Well, if it wasn't before, it's pretty obvious now we are going to get a prison saga. Some ween absolutely is going to be writing Chris in jail and posting all replies Chris sends back.

Much like the previous letter, he isn't helping his case. If anything, demanding a full pardon at this point might be a hint Chris is actually somewhat aware that he isn't just going to be able to roll out of trouble this time.

 

[grumble_bum]

I love "Jail of Fail" and "President Lisa Simpson."
Also playing solitare on a prayer rug is an excellent way to describe Chris'es combination of Austism and God delusions.

 

[Glowie]

Another letter to be implemented to Bible of CWCism.

More of the same insanity and shifting the blame, lack of grasp on reality and magical thinking.
Funny how divinity stops and ability to shape reality stops once when they are in jail.

>Implying Biden gives a shit about a literal motherfucker.

 

[Ol' Slag]

Disappointed no one is asking the hard hitting questions.

What kind of lego does Chris want to buy with "donations" and can Chris somehow use his godly powers to be able to play with lego in prison?