Prison Letters Chris and Kengle Prison Letter Megathread

Phalanges Mycologist said:
If I am rembering this correctly, if it's directly relating to there crime during the time they are in prison they can't proffit off it, however they can publish other works. and after prison it's free game.
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Since Chris literally can't shut up about Barb, we might be in the clear by default.
 
MG-34 said:
Late me if it's in this thread but what kind of stupid shit could chris buy at the local prison commissary? I've heard of prisons having nicer amenities, any chance he can save up for a video game console if enough losers donate to him?
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I'd say a small fortune for a PS3 at the top of the catalog. The playing cards were probably the equivalent of half a tugboat.
 
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MG-34 said:
Late me if it's in this thread but what kind of stupid shit could chris buy at the local prison commissary? I've heard of prisons having nicer amenities, any chance he can save up for a video game console if enough losers donate to him?
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No, they don't have personal TVs in their cells or any way to play it. The communal TV is likely an older wall mounted model or possibly even one of the old fat back ones, depending on funding.

I wasn't able to find this specific jail's commissary list, but here's one example:
lb2.jpg

Prices are so cheap because prisoners with jobs make pennies on the hour, fwiw.

Edit, here's another example that lists a few electronics, about what you'd expect:
page1-1200px-Commissary_List,_Florence,_CO_Prison_Camp.pdf.jpg
 
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Umaru Doma said:
No, they don't have personal TVs in their cells or any way to play it. The communal TV is likely an older wall mounted model or possibly even one of the old fat back ones, depending on funding.

I wasn't able to find this specific jail's commissary list, but here's one example:
View attachment 2612993
Prices are so cheap because prisoners with jobs make pennies on the hour, fwiw.

Edit, here's another example that lists a few electronics, about what you'd expect:
View attachment 2612996
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Of course Fanta is on the menu. It's like poetry, it rhymes.
 
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ToroidalBoat said:
"magical thinking" that letters will always fix everything
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I love how in the letter to the mall, he rambles about intercourse and how they need to mail him a reply using the USPS (as opposed to Royal Mail, I suppose).

He misspells nearly every other word and constantly crosses out letters, etc.

Didn't he think typing it up, using spellcheck, and then printing it out would look less insane?
 
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Umaru Doma said:
No, they don't have personal TVs in their cells or any way to play it. The communal TV is likely an older wall mounted model or possibly even one of the old fat back ones, depending on funding.

I wasn't able to find this specific jail's commissary list, but here's one example:
View attachment 2612993
Prices are so cheap because prisoners with jobs make pennies on the hour, fwiw.

Edit, here's another example that lists a few electronics, about what you'd expect:
View attachment 2612996
Click to expand...
How do prisoners load music on their MP3s? I can't imagine prisoners are allowed access to the interent for itunes or youtube mp3 ripping sites.
 
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"Ya honaw, I would like to enter a plea on behalf of my client, not guilty by reason of insanity. I'd like to, but if I do, my client Mrs. Chandler, told me if I did, I wouldn't get to merge with my 1218 counterpart. Mr. Pheonix Wright. I'm sure you understand ya honaw"
5pwmac.jpg
 
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MG-34 said:
How do prisoners load music on their MP3s? I can't imagine prisoners are allowed access to the interent for itunes or youtube mp3 ripping sites.
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I have absolutely no idea, but it's kind of funny to imagine buying a janky old MP3 player for (what amounts in prison to) a fortune, then having no way to use it. I could see Chris doing that.
 
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Umaru Doma said:
No, they don't have personal TVs in their cells or any way to play it. The communal TV is likely an older wall mounted model or possibly even one of the old fat back ones, depending on funding.

I wasn't able to find this specific jail's commissary list, but here's one example:
View attachment 2612993
Prices are so cheap because prisoners with jobs make pennies on the hour, fwiw.

Edit, here's another example that lists a few electronics, about what you'd expect:
View attachment 2612996
Click to expand...
Spending all his commissary on junk food
 
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Epic Fisting Man said:
Chris wants Kengle to contact Biden to get him out of jail.
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I would certainly encourage him to do so. Maybe he'll get lucky and Biden's rapidly deteriorating mind will actually do it.

Then again, I think Chris is in jail on violation of state law and so Biden might not be able to do shit about it even if he wanted to.
 
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